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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be REALLY REALLY pissed off about my SIL?

30 replies

Brunettelady · 04/12/2009 18:42

I know I'm probably going to get told that I am BU but I don't care. I'm angry and need to vent!!!

My SIL is ok, but a bit of a miserable drip really (I think her own family would agree). She moans about her 'crappy life' but she seems to get everything so easily.

She goes to America once a year, her and her DH work full time with no mortgage, kids etc but shes always moaning about not having any money. She hated her job and got another one, straight away. Fine. Then she hated that one and got another one at the hospital (straight away again) which I tried for ages to get in there and never could. She started moaing about how much she hated it there after a few weeks and is on the lookout again and recently moaned saying she wanted to stay at home all day etc. I pointed out to her that I have an illness that means I cannot work. She kept putting things on facebook like "doomsday, another day at work" and "yaaawwwnnnnn".

Now she has just been given a council property!! She and her DH rent a house privately and can easily afford to do so. I have no idea how she managed this as me and my DH tried for years when we only have 1 wage coming in. We were evicted from our flat when I was pregnant and the council wouldn't help us at all.

Now we have a shared ownership house which is tiny but its ours so we make the most of it and hope that in the future we may be able to get something a little bigger. We struggled for years to get this yet SIL gets everything soooo easily and complains and moans about everything. Apparently she can't have children as MIL won't look after them full time so SIL can go to work!!

I know I am probably BU but I get really fucking pissed off by it all.

OP posts:

MarioChristmas · 04/12/2009 18:45

Just get on with your life and enjoy what you have

mamakoukla · 04/12/2009 18:47

She doesn't sound like a very happy bunny now, does she? As MC writes, enjoy your own life and let her whitter away.

louii · 04/12/2009 18:49

Why do you care, mind your own business.

FabIsVeryHappy · 04/12/2009 18:50

YANBU but don't waste any time thinking about her.

Life isn't always fair.

RealityIsHungover · 04/12/2009 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Brunettelady · 04/12/2009 18:52

louii, sorry but when she moans to us and puts in facebook, she makes it our business as well. You don't have to be rude about it.

OP posts:

motherbeyond · 04/12/2009 18:53

wow,you sound bitter!why don't you just enjoy your life, and accept that some people are jammy,and some people are not.

what does it matter to you if she hates her job?it's a sad fact that most people hate their jobs..she's entitled to moan about it should she feel the need.

you've just made yourself sound bitter and resenful,neither of which are endearing qualities,imo.

so, yes yabu..get over it

JajasSupportingAnyFucker · 04/12/2009 18:57

God people on here are harsh ! She sounds like a pain and I don't blame you for feeling fed up with her going on.

Some folk are just like that though, doesn't matter what they have they just want more.

Original poster

Brunettelady · 04/12/2009 18:59

I am not bitter and resentful. I just wanted to rant about something that annoys me tbh. I know that some have it difficult and others don't, but as someone who has some difficulties, I am entitled to get pissed off about others who have it easier but moan about it constantly.

I don't see why people have to be so bloody rude either - get over it. If I want to be annoyed I will be, thank you.

Reality!! Thank you. I'm glad someone understands.

OP posts:

louii · 04/12/2009 19:00

Delete her from facebook if it bothers you so much.

Some people are just like that, don't let her get to you.

motherbeyond · 04/12/2009 19:03

i don't think i was being rude at all,you must be a sensitive flower!...i was merely giving my honest opinion to you,as i see it.you seem to be getting very wound up about something you can do jack-shit about,tis all.better to accept it and get on with your own life.
less stressful.

mamakoukla · 04/12/2009 19:06

Brunettelady, sorry if it came across harsh but is she worth spending time getting upset about?

I was in a bad situation for a number of years, due to family. It was horrible but I had to put a distance inbetween us just to be able to not have to rant about them and be annoyed by them.

I guess I just meant, don't waste your energy where it's not going to produce any good. And she really cannot be a happy person if she can't appreciate what she does have, which is quite sad in itself.

But yes, nothing beats the occasional good rant.

CastleDouglas · 04/12/2009 19:11

She's sounds like a 'friend' of mine who's only really happy when she's got something to moan about. Let her get on with it and be glad you're not her.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/12/2009 19:11

YANBU
she sounds like a miserable cow. Good that she 'can't have children' if she is such a miserable moaning twat.

fedup1981 · 04/12/2009 19:22

I think sometimes on AIBU people answer who are totally incapable of putting themselves in other people's shoes. In fact I think some of them just copy and paste the same "YABU, get a grip" on every thread.

Anyway, YANBU to be quietly pissed off that she moans about fuck all, she sounds fairly young though, maybe life has some lessons to teach her yet on being grateful for her lot. (Hopefully not too harsh lessons, I don't wish bad luck on people) Most of us were self-centred prats before we had kids and other responsibilities.

Jux · 04/12/2009 19:24

I feel your pain! I hate it when people complain about hteir jobs - I'd give my eye teeth to be out at work (and I loved being out at work when I was, so it's not grass being greener). Now I've got ms and I can't work.

But, people here are also right. There is no point in feeling annoyed about her attitude - it's only blighting your own life. When she's being moany at you, you can point out how lucky she is, you would be justified in getting quite passionate about how easy her life is in comparison to yours. I have to admit to having done this myself once. That person never moaned in front of me again; they were very shamed. I was lucky, she was a sensible and open-minded person, and understood immediately where I was coming from. Your SIL may not be but I'd say it was worth the risk.

Think of a few choice comments you can start off with and await your opportunity

Original poster

Brunettelady · 04/12/2009 19:48

Sorry to some people on here I know people are giving their opinions but I think there are better ways of saying things sometimes (yes I am also quite sensitive and don't like the phrase "get over it").

Mama, I didn't think you were being harsh with what you said.

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it really does. I really wish I could no give a toss but Jux I really liked your advice! I also have a long term illness (not MS) and haven't been able to work since I was 20 so I think thats why her attitude really bothers me with regards to work. Although I do appreciate the fact that I get to be SAHM, something which SIL would never even contemplete. I will think of some (polite) things to say when she moans again (which she will at some point). Its just trying to get them to leave my mouth in a polite tone when I want to smack her around the head with a pooey nappy! lol.

OP posts:

mamakoukla · 04/12/2009 19:57

(ducks to avoid the flying pooey nappy!)

You write that it shouldn't bother you, but it really does.

But it's an incredible waste of your time and energy.

I guess this is what I am getting at and it's not easy to remain neutral and not get upset about things. Do concentrate on the good things in your life and don't let her get you down.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 05/12/2009 11:12

I feel sorry for your poor brother. And sorry for her for being so unhappy.

But mostly I feel well done you - you should be proud of what you have achieved despite being dealt a tough hand. You have family, your own house and a meaningful and happy life. Don't waste your time and energy on envying her - there is nothing to envy there compared to the life you have built. Would you swap? I thought not.

Living well is the best thing.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 05/12/2009 11:12

I feel sorry for your poor brother. And sorry for her for being so unhappy.

Living well is the best thing.

MadameCastafiore · 05/12/2009 11:15

Oh feckin hell - tell her what you think or stop whining about it but you are obviously not happy with your lot and maybe need to stand infront of a mirror and figure out why rather than measuring your life and attitude against anothers!

famishedass · 05/12/2009 11:23

"YABU, get a grip"

Original poster

Brunettelady · 05/12/2009 18:32

Theres no need to be rude famishedass and MadamCast.

Workingitout. I never thought of it that way. No I wouldn't swap with her. I don't think she really has a life. They didn't want to put their heating on because of the cost so would sit with blankets and hot water bottles! I would much rather have a cosy home.

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 05/12/2009 18:37

I think that famishedass was joking. (Cut and paste 'YABU, get a grip')

Anyhow, she sounds like a difficult woman and you sound like a lovely woman. Know who I would rather have as a friend. Ignore her.

Original poster

Brunettelady · 05/12/2009 18:41

Oh right!! Lol. I forgot what I put yesterday with the "get a grip" thing! .

OP posts:

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