to not want my 8mo DS to bath in wee?

[Undercovamutha]

Last night my DH was bathing DD (3) and DS (8mo). We have recently started bathing them together now that DS can sit up confidently in the bath. DD did a wee in the bath (DH had forgotten to put her on the toilet prior to bath). Now to my mind, DH should have quickly bathed both children, rinsing them off (especially DS) in a bit of clean water, and washed their faces in clean water too. What DH actually did was tell DD not to tell me , and then kept them in the bath splashing and playing for another 10 mins. He also washed them in the water too (couldn't bear to ask if he'd washed DS's face in the wee water!!!!). Whilst DH was changing DS, I came upstairs and asked DD if she needed a wee, she said she didn't cos she'd had one in the bath. I then caught DH later telling DD not to tell tales on him!

Anyway, DH is so sure that he is in the right that HE asked me to ask on MN if IABU to be annoyed about the whole thing. He thinks that as urine is sterile (apparently?) there's no problem and I was getting het up about nothing. I know I have a tendency towards being overly hygienic, so am starting to doubt myself.

What do you think?

x post with Sassy

But Sassybeast, as I pointed out in my post - the bacteria from the genitals and anus are in the water already, so the urine won't be adding any additional bacteria.

Also urine exiting from an infection-free urethra coming out of freshly washed genitals will be virtually sterile which is pretty much the same thing in this imperfect world.

Ha ha kreecher and citizenP youv both made me laugh i presently hav both my boys n da bath and hav little doubt that there is some wee n da mix... I always give them a little rinse wit fresh water myself but wouldnt go off on one if dh didnt... Altho i wudnt be impressed bout him tellin dd not to tell on him! Silly men

YANBU. I wouldn't have been pleased about my baby having his face washed with his sister's wee water either. Would have whipped them both out and showered them off.

Youngviitor - I did say that the OP was BU - but factually, saying that urine is sterile is incorrect. It's more relevant on threads when people ask if allowing their child to pee in a cup at a playground is ok but it's still a common misconception and factually incorrect.

YABU its not something I really like but it happens! my three all pile in the bath together (5,3 and 9 months) so I just try not to think about what goes in there lol.
I would just laugh it off as one of those lovely things that happens.

well it's virtually sterile, assuming no UTIs etc. Considerably more sterile than - say - your hands. Or your mouth.

So in that context it's reasonable to say that it's fairly sterile in comparison to all the other things that are being washed in the bath. It's probably more sterile than the dirty bath water, for eg.

So while it may be technically incorrect to say that it's 100% sterile, I think it's a fair point to say that it's unlikely to be adding any bacteria to the bath, and may even be lowering the bacterial concentration by diluting it

Urine is not sterile. 'Virtually' doesn't come into it when you are talking about facts sweetie

I agree with what everyone else say about the urine.

BUT

What about the bit where your DH told your daughter not to tell, then told her off for telling......that is very very bad IMO

er, excuse me but yes it does!

It's not a matter of "facts". There is no such thing as 100% sterile - we live in a world of air-borne, skin-borne, breath-borne bacteria and anything in that world is not sterile.

Sterile operating theatres are not 100% sterile. Sterile dressings are not 100% sterile. Sterile instruments are not 100% sterile. Yet they are described as such.

Everything is a matter of being acceptably sterile.

Sweetie.

So first you argue that urine is sterile, then you argue that 'nothing' can be sterile ?

Are you as confused as you sound ?

And the point people are making when they say that urine is sterile is to contradict the widespread assumption that urine is teeming with bacteria, like faeces.

It's not. There's very little bacteria apart from what it picks up on its journey. Much like water in that respect.

Would you prefer "almost bacteria-free"?

hahahaha by 8 months DS was regularly nicking the dog's food, licking anything that went by and had eaten bird poo (that was vomit inducing for me by the way!), it is only in the last 12 months that he will get out of the bath to wee himself.

sassy - are you trying to be deliberately offensive and patronising?

You seem to have a misconception that sterile means utterly and completely free of bacteria for ever and ever amen.

It doesn't. It means different things in different contexts. Like the word "dark" or "heavy". You might as well argue that you can never say somewhere is "dark" unless it is 100% free of all light, ever.

And saying that something is "virtually sterile", as I did, is perfectly acceptable - if you are confused by that then you are very easily confused.

anyway I really don't know how this thread has descended into bickering about the clinical definition of sterile. It's not really relevant to the OP's point at all.

Very odd.

Threads have to stay relevant? Well there goes all the fun!

I'm not bickering sweetie. Now put your toys back in your pram

Can we get back to my point

The one where the child is getting in trouble for telling mummy what she did with daddy!!!!!

allthreeways, that's the bit that would bother me as well.

Is that any different to me buying DS something I probably shouldn't and then saying "We don't need to tell Daddy about this do we?". Same with letting him eat at the computer, DH is obsessed with it not happening, but DH isn't here most afternoons, so we just don't mention it...

Packet of pork scratchings and a pint. Then a nice evening watching a DVD.

Damn - there I go drifting again....

I know we all do it sometimes Morloth, but would you tell your DS off for telling the truth if he did?

Not seriously. But I probably would mention it the next time he wanted to do something Daddy didn't need to know about...

You are being unreasonable.
Most small children wee in the bath most of the time. My 3 year old asks to get out to use the potty, but my 21 month son doesn't.

Most of the time you won't know that your child has weed.

You could give your children a complex about weeing and about having baths. I have heard one anecdote about a child who would refuse to have baths because of their parent's reaction if they weed in it.

And yes wee is sterile.

You could make bubblebaths. That way you are less likely to notice when your children wee.

I don't see any problem with the OP's DH telling their daughter not to tell mum. I'd've done exactly the same thing. In fact, I have. DP is a bit OCD concerned about ds2 peeing in the bath, but I really don't see the problem. Ds1 (9) saw him do it once and I told him we just wouldn't tell DP about it. DP tells DS1 not to tell me stuff that he knows I'm utterly irrational funny about too. It's not a problem.

We teach ds about what sort of things can be a secret and what never should be. I think peeing in the bath or getting to stay up late playing the xbox while I'm not there fall into the former category. In any case, ds1 is crap at keeping these 'secrets' and always tells.