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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be able to face a third day of this?

39 replies

bintofbohemia · 03/12/2009 10:15

Stupid van has broken so I have no transport as DH takes the car to work. DS's playgroup is a half hour walk away for me, 45-60 mins with a 3 year old who whinges and wants to sit on every bench we pass. There is no public transport that goes that way.

That wouldn't be so bad in itself, we could just walk, apart from the fact that DS2 (15m) has D&V and has been projectiling. DS1 only has a 2.5 hour session at playgroups and in total we'd spend 2 hours walking to and from, assuming DS2 and I just stayed there and waited for him to finish - you get teh picture, it's not worth it.

So we've been stuck in the house since Tuesday, unable to really go out bar a half hour stroll to the shops and back, because I'm changing DS2 every half an hour and cleaning up vom.

I'm now facing day 3 of being stuck in, DS2 won't stop whinging, poor DS1 is basically plonked in front of CBeebies and I'm MNing my ass off to keep myself sane. But I don't think I can get through another 7 hours like this, and then probably the same again tomorrow. These are days of our lives we will never get back and we're essentially incarcerated. Doesn't help that it's pissing it down and has been for days.

So, AIBU to start unravelling and find this very difficult to cope with? Or shoudl I jsut be taking this on the chin? I could make dens/cakes and have adventures but I can't summon the motivation, DS1 just wants to watch tv anyway and DS2 wont' shut up or be put down. (Besides, we made cakes yesterday, and I ate 'em, so now I'm fat and miserable.)

OP posts:
fernie3 · 03/12/2009 10:18

YANBU its awful when they are ill!. It is about 40 mins walk to my daughters school, same thing no car no buses so i can sympathize! I hate lugging her up there every day especially when she doesnt want to go in anyway

sarah293 · 03/12/2009 10:18

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fernie3 · 03/12/2009 10:20

When mine are ill everything stops and tv is allowed whenever they want otherwise with them all being either ill or moaning because the other is ill its unbearable.

Original poster
bintofbohemia · 03/12/2009 10:21

Riven - that's rubbish.

See, I did wonder if I was being a spoilt bitch and too reliant on having a car, I know so many people don't, and they manage. I didn't have one for years but now with kids am finding it hard to not have one, as everything is so spread out.

OP posts:
MintyCandyCane · 03/12/2009 10:24

YANBU it is really hard.

fernie3 · 03/12/2009 10:26

everything is spread out isnt it! Like the surestart centres they seem to be ages away from us. They are in the middle of housing estates but those housing estates are right outside town and the only bus that goes there is a double decker with stairs (so you have to collapse the buggy) I find it incredibly stressfull to carry a baby and a buggy plus two older ones. I dont understand why they cant put them somewhere a little easier to get to (well apart from people who live on that one estate)

OrmIrian · 03/12/2009 10:29

Yuck! Poor you. Not surprised you are going a bit crazy. D&V in the family is awful.

mumblechum · 03/12/2009 10:29

How come you're losing your car Riven? Surely your dd will get DLA long term, which means she's entitled to a motability car at the same time?

StealthPolarBear · 03/12/2009 10:33

surely D&V should stop soon? Am I right in thinking it's been going on since Tuesday?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/12/2009 10:34

OP, YANBU.

fernie3 · 03/12/2009 10:36

StealthPolarBear you are right - OP have you taken your baby to the doctor? If he is being sick or your having to change his nappy that often for 48 hours he might be getting dehydrated? My daughter was unwell and we had to take her to hospital after 48 hours

Saucepanman · 03/12/2009 10:37

Oh dear, sounds a pile of pants! Surely ds2 must be coming to the end of it all soon?

I think you are near me (S'port), rain is indeed shit today! Don't put pressure on yourself to do "nice" activities with ds1 if he is happy watching TV, there really will be plenty of other days for all that. And don't worry about eating the cakes- how else are you to get through this?!

Saucepanman · 03/12/2009 10:39

oh yes, YANBU, obv

sarah293 · 03/12/2009 10:42

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sarah293 · 03/12/2009 10:43

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MintyCandyCane · 03/12/2009 10:46

me too I have just discovered economy variety packs and so feel justified in stuffing even more. I can feel my bum getting bigger but at least i will be warm.

sarah293 · 03/12/2009 10:50

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Hullygully · 03/12/2009 10:52

OP Don't worry. Let it all go. There are always periods like this. It will pass it will pass it will pass. The kids will be absolutely fine.

mumblechum · 03/12/2009 11:02

Toasted syrup and sultana pancakes, hot with a nice cup of tea.

mumblechum · 03/12/2009 11:05

Riven, if it's not too late you could pull the "express terms" trick.

You say that the contract was made with, inter alia, the express term, verbally communicated by you, that the contract for the first car was dependant on it's being big enough to fit both chairs in.

As you depended on the assurance of the dealer that it was, and in fact it was not, then the contract is invalid and you're entitled to your money back.

Got to be worth a try. Tell them you've been in touch with trading standards. All dealers hate that and will often suddenly start to see things from your point of view.

Hullygully · 03/12/2009 11:06

Go Mumble!

sarah293 · 03/12/2009 11:07

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Morloth · 03/12/2009 11:09

Make another cake, open a bottle of wine (or make a cup of tea). Do you have chocolate?

Can you get internet delivery of groceries? Let DS1 watch telly as much as he wants - a few days of it isn't going to hurt him.

Sometimes it just isn't worth the energy of getting annoyed.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 03/12/2009 11:48

Riven mumblechum is totally right and no dealer should get away with selling you a car that isnt as you asked for, and especially given you asked for 2 wheelchairs to fit the potential bad PR for the dealer is immense. I realise when you're feeling down it can be hard to be assertive enough to handle j**ks like this but they can't get away with this.

Are you up to calling them and going back over it? A suggestion that you might ring the local paper might be useful to get them to reconsider.

ginnybag · 03/12/2009 11:56

Seconded...

I'm quite capable of being an utter bitch politely assertive on the phone.

£250 is nothing to the dealer but a fortune to you. Some suggestions about 'bad press' might well budge him. It's three weeks before Christmas and he's playing hard ball with a mother with two disabled kids. Why didn't he check the product was to spec before supplying it? That is his responsibility, just as it is a supermarkets to not sell bad milk. They don't get away with saying 'blame the farmer'.

OP - deepest sympathies. Sounds horrid.

Get the older one to write Santa lists, maybe, or just leave him be. I'd maybe be getting the little one looked at, though, if it's not getting any better.