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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that next door's ds' girlfriend is yelping like a terrier during sex sessions and keeping ds awake?

51 replies

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 01/12/2009 20:48

Next door neighbours have a 15 (poss 16) year old ds, who has his girlfriend over when his parents are out. His bedroom is right next door to ds' and I can blatantly hear them shagging. Which, y'know, is fine, but the girl is so loud! Not to mention the fact that i think the bed is up against the wall so we can all hear it banging.

In normal circumstances I would just go into another room, put some loud music on and wait for it to stop, but it always seems to be around ds' bedtime, and goes on for hours! Cue ds going, "What's that noise mama? I can't sleep, what's that noise?"

Not sure whether to say anything to neighbours, and if so, what?? Presumably he has his girlfriend over with their blessing (although possibly not shagging with their blessing, I don't know) so I can't exactly go round and say, "Oi, tell your son's girlfriend to Shut Up - and learn to fake her orgasms quietly!"

OP posts:
shockers · 01/12/2009 21:39

Talk to him.... if you explain gently that if he/she continues to keep your child awake with their lovemaking (and please use that word... it will make him squirm) then you might have to ask his mum to move his room. Treat him as he would imagine you would another adult... he will be both flattered and mortified and your conversation will become his dinner party anecdote in years to come.... result all round

PeedOffWithNits · 01/12/2009 21:40

just print this and stick it through the door

no more noise, I promise you

PeedOffWithNits · 01/12/2009 21:41

.....unless he would like the idea of being seen as a stud in the national papers?

santaschristmascakeywakey · 01/12/2009 21:42

'I hope you won't be too embarrassed, but I just need to have a quick word about the, ehem, noise from your bedroom.

'Your bed seems to be on the same wall as my DS's, and he's been waking up quite a lot lately asking me what you're doing in your room, as he can hear lots of banging and screaming. It's really starting to frighten him as he thinks that something bad is happening!

'Do you think you might be able to to move your bed, and perhaps keep the noise down a bit? I'd move DS's bed, but there's no other way to move his room around. I'd really appreciate it.'

violethill · 01/12/2009 21:47

Fake an orgasm just off-beat to hers - she squeals, you squeal a second later

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/12/2009 22:59

I would stand in your son's bedroom and when she starts wuffing, shout very loudly "Rumpy pumpy, rumpy pumpy."

I think they'll get the message then.

UnquietDad · 02/12/2009 23:03

Applaud them?...

So tempted to say "good on her, a screamer is always a good laugh..." But obviously that's not what you want to hear. Especially if she is, ahem, just a little too young to be enjoying that kind of thing.

VengefulKitty · 02/12/2009 23:14

See, now I would make sure that I saw them in the street/garden or somewhere whilst with DS and get him to ask very loudly:

"Mummy, is that the girl that sounds like a doggy jumping up and down at the wall when I go to bed?"

But then again I am a wicked mother who uses her son in this way

SparklyGothKat · 02/12/2009 23:46

pmsl sorry no advice, liking reading the advice you are getting tho

skydancer1 · 02/12/2009 23:57

Sorry for your problem OP but this whole thread has made me laugh. How about this script:

"I'm sorry to say this but your private life isn't very private. Maybe the walls are a bit thin between your bedroom and my son's bedroom, but every time your girlfriend is round it's really obvious to us, and keeping my son awake. Could you please ask your girlfriend if she can turn the volume down a bit?"

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 03/12/2009 00:03

You need to bang on the wall at the crucial moment. It will never happen again.

said · 03/12/2009 00:24

lolol @ "if you explain gently that if he/she continues to keep your child awake with their lovemaking (and please use that word... it will make him squirm)"

JustAnotherManicMummy · 03/12/2009 00:28

LMAO at the suggestions on here. Especially shockers use of the word "lovemaking". Inspired!

How about this:

"DH, go and have a word with the hoody next door about his activites. It's keeping DS up"

ChrisMissWooWoo · 03/12/2009 09:40

oh yes I think this is definately a man to man chat moment ... dh's job I say, he'll just give it him straight and the young man will take it on board, no?

fernie3 · 03/12/2009 09:45

this sounds like our next door neighbours. Our children used to share the big room which is next to them and my daughter used to complain of mysterious noises which we accused her of making up and sent her back to bed.
We swapped them to the two smaller rooms so they could have a room each and we took the bigger room. The very first night (and most nights since!) the wall banging started along with the strangest noises I have ever heard from a person. It SO LOUD, our house is an old house with very thick walls we dont normally hear anything from next door and yet her (and his) noises echo around our bedroom.

The most disturbing thing is that they have an 8 year old and a 6 year old - it must be deafning iside thier house!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 03/12/2009 09:47

Im liking the idea of getting a "yelping" competition going, add a few "schneider schneiders" at full volume and they'll soon learn to be a bit quieter.

canihaveapeeinpeacepleasebob · 03/12/2009 10:06

My friend had a similar problem.
He accidently bumped into the ds one morning and said 'I saw your girlfriend leaving last night, just before your parents got home, she's a bit of a squealer isn't she.'!
Cue very embarrassed young man and no more noisey sex!
Why don't you get dh to run round and bang on the door, when they anwser it say 'Is everyone ok, we could hear loud banging and squealing!'

StealthPolarBear · 03/12/2009 10:10

hobbgoblin you're hilarious love violethill's suggestion too!

purplepeony · 03/12/2009 12:28

you say "Excuse me , but my dcs were kept awake last night by a lot of noise coming from the other side of theri bedrooms walls- must be you and your GF I think."Could you keep it a bit quieter please? Oh and by the way, she is not under age, is she?"

StayFrosty · 03/12/2009 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoIsAskingSantaForCake · 03/12/2009 12:34

Roraring laughing at "lovemaking" hahahaha

30andLurking · 03/12/2009 12:39

Word of caution about Violethill's policy.. DH and I did this with a noisy couple in university halls, they started up so we decided to match them (while fully dressed, I hasten to add) yowl for yowl with a few Austin-Powers style "yeah baby"s thrown in for good measure. It worked.

Came out of my room only to discover flatmate's parents (who we STILL see!) had popped round to visit. Cue instant mortification. How DO you explain that?!

TeddyBare · 03/12/2009 12:41

How old is your ds? Does he have the soundtracks to anything horribly inappropriate you could play in his room next to the wall?(obviously only possible if you can put bedtime back by an hour or 2). Childish Christmas songs, nursrey rhymes or the Harry Potter story tapes would be suitable I think

JustAnotherManicMummy · 03/12/2009 22:59

OP are you coming back to update us?

skydancer1 · 03/12/2009 23:11

I like the nursery rhymes idea Teddybare. How about these for starters:

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

Or

Hark hark the dogs do bark
The beggars are coming to town
Some in rags and some in jags*
And one in a velvet gown.

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