MN and dyslexia, laughing at a disability?

[MrsBlackbeard]

I'm wondering what to do about the problem of being a dyslexic on MN. Do I make a simpering apology at that the start of a thread and/or as I post a comment?

Its just this, if we were all in a room together, and English wasnt my first language and Im having difficulty pronouncing things because of it, or I had a speech disorder, would you:

A. Stand round laughing in to my face.
Or
B. Assume that I was unintelligent and not worthy of your attentions?

I know Im asking for trouble for writing all this and will take on the chin the usual basturdly (Dont worry my own word) wit that some times swills round in hear.

Iv named changed a couple of times since being hear and keep getting that same old shite over and over again.

Its taken me years to get up the bollox to actual write on any forum as it involves having to put my comments through Microsoft word before posting any thing bigger then a three letters. Spellchecker can fail in often spectacularly ways for me, and granted, in very humorous ways..

I couldnt spell my own name till I was 11 years old, and went to a shit pit of a school that advised me to fuck off at 16 due to my illiteracy. I remember when I was 12 having a English teacher read out a essay as I had written it to the class and going home to figure out which would be the easiest way to commit suicide due to the ensuing ridicule and shame. I grew up in an area where dyslexia was only recognized as a condition until relatively recently.

Iv lost jobs when they twigged I had it, and was rejected for jobs when I told them at interview.
How ever, I managed to graduate with a 2.1 and ended up working on international arts projects. I think Iv done all right given my breaks and I feel that Im not that unintelligent. Nice thing about art is you can develop your own language; I can escape the constraints of the written word.

So why do I feel I'm shouting up the stairwell and clambering up on crutches at the party above, as every so often someone looks down to laugh at me as I miss a step.

Im sure there are parents of dyslexic children on MN, that dont find anything funny in what they have to deal with trying to get there kids on in life.

As for text speak, yeh well it dose look common but language evolves. It is a form of communication that is unsanctioned, adapted by people who were failed by the education system, delivers a meaning quicker (And cheaper by the pound on your phone bill).
I dont personal have a problem with it; its just a different way of writting.

Come on then have a good laugh, point at the linguistic freak..

You have no idea how many times I had to go over this, and I bet its still choca with spelling mistakes.

Sorry rant over..

Mrs Blackbeard, I was actually stunned when I read your blog. Didn't quite know if to respond. Believe me, your intelligence shines through and I think you have the makings of a magical writer.Can we ask your age group.? Trust me, the school probably did you a favour when they threw you out.We so need individuals in this world. Unfortunately the school system usually churns out clones and robots by the thousands.

I understand some of how you feel. I am dyslexic too. I think some people use the word without a diagnosis. I was diagnosed as a child but never understood until late secondary school. I am not thick, did quite well at school and went on to get a degree but did need some additional support. I too couldn't spell my very unusual name until I was late primary school - 1st name I learned but middle name was a nightmare and up until about 5 years ago I was repeatedly spelling it wrong - getting the o and i round wrong way. To be honest if someone put a gun to my head now and told me to be a million percent sure how to spell it I would panic as it makes no sence to me which one comes first.

Some times if I make mistakes its lazy typing/dodgy keyboard - has buttons missing. But sometimes I can read over it and I genuinely do not see the mistake, I read it as correct.

Anyway just wanted to add my support

Oh also wanted to say my Dad is dyslexic and has a very high up job within the legal system.

Sometimes the hardest part of my day is reading a childs book out loud, especially if its a slightly different writing style. I will have to pause and look like this while I work it out. And the child will be saying it for me.

Oh and when children ask how to spell a word - haha! My mind goes blank, no way can I say it out loud letter by letter. I have to write it down then read out each letter or often look it up as I will doubt myself when the letters as spilt up as i say them. I have a teaching degree by the way - was never a problem, just had lots of dictionarys in class!

My son (8) is dyslexic

I am only beginning to understand how tough it is going to be for him in life when he spells fancu and is sure it says thankyou and sens says sence. I feel so for him.

At the moment he is not way behind his peers but I have no idea how we are going to support and nurture him when he is constantly bottom of the class in literacy, spellings, reading etc and everyone ridicules him for mistakes he has no way of noticing.

for you op

I understand, I was tested for dyslexia as a child, but no I really am just thick!

My son has dyslexia but finds textspeak as much of a minefield as normal spelling.
He just needs to spend alot more time writing anything and doing spellcheck.
Agree with lovebeingamummy's point though that some I'm/ my child is dyslexic not thick posts can come across as anti-thick. After all if someone has a low IQ that's not that person's fault any more than if they have dyslexia.
I'm not aware of anyone on mumsnet laughing at dyslexia. I do hate textspeak though.

My child is 12 and cannot write up anything at school. I have to scribe all homework until he learns to type faster. He cannot even spell his own surname. We avoid textspeak though, as it makes things worse for him.

I am a wordsmith, who used to earn a living, correcting other people's grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. Oh the irony...
I, however, am discalculate and people laugh at me in shops and things when I get fuddled by numbers. I can add up, very accurately, but it takes me much longer as I check and check. Anything mathmatical freezes something in my brain to the point where I cnnot remember my own name....

when I type quickly, get letters wrong way round and miss endings off, but the pedant in me knows when something is wrong!

My son has an IQ which puts him in the top 2 per cent of people, but gets taunted on a daily basis at school.

You are so right, it is NOT funny.

{hug of solidarity}

meant to say, dyslexia runs through our family like a stick of rock....

My eldest has Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome which is a form of dyslexia treated by coloured glasses. she was diagnosed at 8 and still managed to do well at school although she says shes thick because of her spelling. she is at college doing art and design and was student of the year last year, she also won a national writing contest at 7 but she had a spell checker because her teacher at the time thought it was just because she had to start working instead of it being easy for her.The teacher who got her seen had a daughter who was dyslexic and did the same trick as mine to hide it, kept the same book that she knew by heart she was seen within 6 weeks of this teacher having her.When she went to the high school we told her guidance teacher about the specialist glasses she wore, yet she still got told by some of her teachers to take her sunglasses off. she should of got help in exams as well but didn't as she was in top classes,so it was deemed unnecessary so lost out in results due to spelling mistakes, even now she needs to spell check before putting her final essays in to college.

Ds 9 is dyslexic

Keeping his confidance going is hard
and that he can and will get there in the end at times is soul destroying

So far he has not had upset with his friends over it

But his teacher from last year nearly destroyed him

he started to feel he was "thick" she refused to repeat or go over work with him and left him to defend for himself in class with work and when his friend tried to help at one point by explainig it to him as he was crying.
He was shouted to leave him alone as it was "ds" problem
Luckily we moved school and we have our little boy back to feeling he is bright and can do his work it just takes a bit more time

I get so at people attitudes towards it

borderslass thats really interesting, I worked with a boy at school who had that. It was when I was at school we had a studybudy scheme and I was paired with him as it was thought I would understand. We hit it off really well. He had a coloured sheet over his work book and was waiting for specially made glasses.

My DS1 7 has dyslexia and so far I can honestly say that we have never been on the end of any teasing and negativity. The school have been excellent with their teaching and support and since the start of year 3 he has been flying, year 1 was terrible and year 2 was much better. I know we are only at the start of all this but I know that I will not see it as a curse.

In the USA they call it 'twice gifted'!

I think you need to forget the past and the shit you had to deal with and totally concentrate on your acheivements to date and, stop the negativity which your post is dripping with, harsh, I am sorry. If you start from the standpoint of 'linguistic freak' you are on a downer to start with.

EVERYONE has stuff to deal with, I can't add up at all and this has got me into shit at work in the past with budgets and stuff, but I have learnt to work around it, take my time, even get my DH to check stuff at home.

You just have to deal with it and not let it hold you back.

My husband has dyslexia and also problems repeating sequences of numbers (give him a phone number and chances are he will dail the numbers the wrong way around!). He did terribly at school but since then has done courses at the OU etc and is quite successful in his career.
I dont have dyslexia but I do have terrible spelling and typing thats just as bad!

Me too!!
Feel really when mners poke fun at other peoples spelling. But they are the tossers, we just cant spell so ner ner ner

My husband is dyslexic and has done very well for himself. He was diagnosed after he'd finished his post-graduate degree and was out in the workplace. There's certainly no intelligence issue with dyslexics and in fact, most are of above-average intelligence. This is why it REALLY pisses me off when people pull others up on their spelling on here. So much so that when someone accused a poster of misspelling a name recently and then went on to misspell and make loads of typos in her post, I pointed it out to her. I know it doesn't help and I won't do it again, but there are quite a few smart alecks around who think they do no wrong and need to realise that actually, everybody makes the odd spelling mistake now and then (or often, as the case may be). As long as you can get your point across, it doesn't matter how many mistakes there are.

I do agree there can be a lot of posts on MN which come across as smug and superior if the OP makes a lot of spelling or other mistakes on their post, and I've been shocked sometimes to see a plea for help get half a dozen "ha ha you've spelt that all wrong" posts before anyone even tries to offer them any help. It's not what MN should be about.

Whether it's dyslexia, a lack of education, or even thickness, we should try to help first and not focus on their standard of English above what they want to talk about.

My previous manager was/is dyslexic, and it can make it difficult to understand his emails, but I always felt it was up to me to try to understand them, and phone for clarification if there was anything important that needed to be pinned down.

You're right we wouldn't snigger at any other form of disability, so we shouldn't snigger at this one.

I totally agree, I am dyslexic and my brain works before my fingers so my typing becomes muddled up sometimes, especially if i have a demanding dd as well. I my sequential memory is very bad, and I have a form of Earlens syndrome linked with dyslexia. It does make me angry that some MNers poke fun at someones spelling without even knowing them, would you do that in RL

I don't think there is a link between intelligence and ability to read, write or spell. I do find it irritating when people say people with dyslexia aren't stupid, as it does imply that people who have problems with language for other reasons are stupid.

I hate text speak and I don't think it has anything to do with being uneducated.

I agree with the OP that there is no need for people to point out spelling or grammatical errors. It is petty and generally has nothing to do with the discussion.

I can't stand snobbery wrt to spelling and text speak on here, or anywhere. The joy some people seem to get out of picking on others: in forums when they want to make someone feel stupid, or educational staff, because of spelling mistakes is bizarre.
It always makes me think how dreadfully insecure they must be. I have to admit I get a bit baffled by statuses from younger friends on facebook, but it's the evolution of language and different to what I'm used to.
I actually work in research in dyslexia and an area that interests me is the obstacles that people, psrticularly adults (having been around longer), have overcome. It can make them more determined, ambitious and a valuable asset to their workplace.
People who pick up on spelling on here are sad individuals and only serve to make themselves look ridiculous.

i hate it when people take the piss about spelling and grammer on here, I mo they need to get a life.
they have their own topic for thier holyier than vow views.
so yanbu

but yabu to think text speak is ok

I think encouraging young people to think text speak is okay in any situation is absurd and snobbish.

What is the argument for text speak?

That it will be really useful when they are presenting their results at an international conference and they can't present it using standard English and so cannot communicate to an international audience?

But of course the young people in question would never be in that situation or any other situation in which standard written English was required, because they form some kind of cool counter-culture that doesn't use standard English, and I am the snob for believing they should have any kind of aspirations beyond that!

Well said Mrs Blackbeard. There is too much nitpicking about spelling on MN, and when it is used to score points off other posters it comes across as plain bitchy.

My Dad is severely dyslexic and had a horrendous time at school, being called stupid by the teachers FFS. When I was growing up if ever we went anywhere and there was a form to fill in or something then I did it for him. He was always so proud of my literacy. However, he is a very talented artist, and I can't paint or draw for toffee. I am very proud of his artistic abilities and very angry about any system that values one talent over another.

Hmmm, have you spoken to MN HQ? I wonder if a reminder at the top of threads that spelling issues may be connected with dyslexia / other disability might not be appropriate? I have a profoundly deaf friend who has very idiosycratic written English, I think because spoken English is nto really her first language, BSL is. I have often thought she would get an unfortunate response on here.

"idiosyncratic" that should be. My only excuse is lousy typing.