MN and dyslexia, laughing at a disability?

[MrsBlackbeard]

I'm wondering what to do about the problem of being a dyslexic on MN. Do I make a simpering apology at that the start of a thread and/or as I post a comment?

Its just this, if we were all in a room together, and English wasnt my first language and Im having difficulty pronouncing things because of it, or I had a speech disorder, would you:

A. Stand round laughing in to my face.
Or
B. Assume that I was unintelligent and not worthy of your attentions?

I know Im asking for trouble for writing all this and will take on the chin the usual basturdly (Dont worry my own word) wit that some times swills round in hear.

Iv named changed a couple of times since being hear and keep getting that same old shite over and over again.

Its taken me years to get up the bollox to actual write on any forum as it involves having to put my comments through Microsoft word before posting any thing bigger then a three letters. Spellchecker can fail in often spectacularly ways for me, and granted, in very humorous ways..

I couldnt spell my own name till I was 11 years old, and went to a shit pit of a school that advised me to fuck off at 16 due to my illiteracy. I remember when I was 12 having a English teacher read out a essay as I had written it to the class and going home to figure out which would be the easiest way to commit suicide due to the ensuing ridicule and shame. I grew up in an area where dyslexia was only recognized as a condition until relatively recently.

Iv lost jobs when they twigged I had it, and was rejected for jobs when I told them at interview.
How ever, I managed to graduate with a 2.1 and ended up working on international arts projects. I think Iv done all right given my breaks and I feel that Im not that unintelligent. Nice thing about art is you can develop your own language; I can escape the constraints of the written word.

So why do I feel I'm shouting up the stairwell and clambering up on crutches at the party above, as every so often someone looks down to laugh at me as I miss a step.

Im sure there are parents of dyslexic children on MN, that dont find anything funny in what they have to deal with trying to get there kids on in life.

As for text speak, yeh well it dose look common but language evolves. It is a form of communication that is unsanctioned, adapted by people who were failed by the education system, delivers a meaning quicker (And cheaper by the pound on your phone bill).
I dont personal have a problem with it; its just a different way of writting.

Come on then have a good laugh, point at the linguistic freak..

You have no idea how many times I had to go over this, and I bet its still choca with spelling mistakes.

Sorry rant over..

The whole thing on MN with posters teasing, being nasty, bitching, etc about posters who spell things wrongly has gotten far worse over recent times.

It is horrid, but sadly those responsible just don't seem to get it at all.

It is never okay to belittle people and humiliate them in the way some people seem to be doing on MN.

I dislike textspeak but would neve have a go at someone for using it. I am perfectly able to read through it and respond accordingly, although will respond with proper text myself.

MN is a public foum, with access to all parents and parents to be - not jsut for those who have perfect spelling, grammar and typing. Maybe some MNetters need to remember that and stop resorting to playground tactics.

Thanks peachy, will remember that, but she actually doing really well on her own, just seems to excell at it.
Teacher debated whether or not to put her in for early entry this summer, thinks she easily get an A, but we prefered to wait so no extra pressure on her. As she so eloquently puts it, "I prefer to paddle at my own pace!" I used to say she was like a swan, calm and serene on the outside, paddling like crazy underneath to keep up.

I'm glad that pedants corner has gone - it has gone hasn't it?

Mrs Blackbeard I think I love you! Hurrah! is all I can say at your post. I'm just like you - dyslexic. I didn't have it diagnosed until I was in my late 20s.

I'm sick and tired, fed up and miserable at the number of times people insist on confusing poor spelling with lack of intelligence. I have an Masters degree. I am not thick. Like you, I can spell check for all I'm worth, but it still won't tell me how to spell 'the' on the days that I can't remember if it starts with a 'th' or a 'v'.

(Having said that, a spell check function on MN would be a GREAT help, MN HQ - please?).

I've posted along similar lines before to defend someone being flamed for poor spelling - but I think you've nailed it. Well done!

Agree with Inmyhead who said it all really. I am dyslexic as well. I also discovered it very late.

MN was bad for the 'I'm so proud to be a pedant' gang when I joined MN a few years ago.

These people would positively wank over a grammar faux pas.

I thought it had got better but lately, like Hulababy, it seems to be getting worse again.

I would suggest a swift 'oh do fuck off you utter no life knob twat'

Because that what these people are, if they would rather post a scathing 'witty' remark re OP's spelling than offer an opinion/advice, they are knob twats. Utter ones at that.

I havent read the whole thread.... just the ops comment.

I have got dsylexia too and have always struggled with my spelling and reading.
I didnt really worry about it on here untill someone told me my mum had obviously wasted her money on a private education for me because my spelling and grammer were atrocious.

The majority of posters on here dont care how you write and care more about what you have to say but there have been a few who have picked me up on mine and left me feeling foolish and rather thick! Was just like being back at school with all the clever kids looking down at me and the bullys telling me not to bother revising coz i wouldnt pass anyway.

I thihk you shoudl stand tall and be proud of what you have accomplished. You are obviously not stupid and sound like you have aachieved a lot whilst dealing with something tht can really stand in your way and crush your confidence at times.

Its sad in life...you will always meet people who are criticle but i think most of the time people who critocise others have little experiance and understanding of the situation.

Hula and Gibbon I salute you my thoughts exactly!

GibbonInARibbon "I would suggest a swift 'oh do fuck off you utter no life knob twat'"

There's nothing quite like throwing some gratuitous swearing into the mix with the shite spelling.

I think all dyslexics' posts should be prefixed with obxxykl! and then we will know they aren't really bAAAAAAD people.

Pedant's corner is still there - you must have just hidden it Rhubarb . I don't have a problem with pedant's corner, and go in there myself - it does bother me when things are mis-spelt on printed signs, newspapers etc because I think it's worth getting those things right.

And if people want advice on spelling or grammar or apostrophes, maybe because they have to write something "official" and want to get it correct, then that's fine.

But I think that's totally separate from criticising people for their language when they're trying to have a conversation - I wouldn't dream of telling someone they were pronouncing a word wrong, or that they shouldn't say "innit?" at the end of every sentence, and I don't think we should do it on MN either, unless that's what the conversation is about.

One of my longest term boss's was dyslexic. He was design company creative director, a partner in the business.

EVERYONE used to take the piss out of him, it used to really annoy me. OK so sometimes he WAS lazy, He'd juse slap a few odd words down and say to me, you know kind of what I need to say, can you just sort it? Sometimes he'd just write as squiggly line and added to the fact he had pretty abysmal handwriting, it needed a kind of sixth sense to read, but I managed. It wa a challenge.

But, like you OP, that guy was bright, intelligent, expressive and eloquent, just he couldn't spell that well.

I only laughed once, the day he wrote the word Country, except he wrote it as it sounded. He thought it was pretty funny too.

My advice to you darling? is NOT to hide, if you go on name changing, we'll never know you. Now, we all know that if MrsBlackbeard spells something differently to how we are used to seeing it, it's cos she has good reason to do so.

Plus now that you have had the bollocks to stand up and speak out about it, if anyone who hasn't come across this post says anything, rest assured that all of us on here will 'have got your back'.

You know AMIS I have no issue with annoyancesover professional things- there's a cafe near Mum's that advertises 'Omlet', and food for 'vegitareins'. It's a physical barr for me (note that ASD traits are hereditary in part and I have two ASD kids, nuff said about extremism on these things).

However, on MN it's supposed to be supportive and at the very least, not predatory- becuase it does feel at times that the offcial-pedants have set themselves up as predators.

Which is sad, becuase then you miss the person behind the typo's.

And anyway, at my school you were only allowed to take typing if you were supposedly too think to take anything else, so there (although that included me, and I was kicked out after a term for typing rude poems instead of random letter chains. And I wasn't thick- they thought a girl from my background would be better taking typing and childcare than the three sciences I wanted. Bah).

I am not dyslexic but have poor spelling and grammer due to pretty poor education. I left school at 15 and found the whole experience depressing.

I get nervy about my spelling etc on MNS. Excellent English skills are not always indictative of intelligence IMO.

I cringe when I see people sneering at mistakes. I admit to hating text speak though.

I have a 'friend' who is forever ranting and pointing out spelling mistakes and correcting my DS on his grammer. Its awful because he has LD and processing disorder. I have told her to stop - it wont help him.

We have a lot of mispelled signage around here. Most of it due to the writer's first language not being English. I just think 'their English is a bloody sight better than my Urdu, Polish etc'.

Anyone with intelligence would be able to look beyond mispelt words. If they cant, then they are the ignorant ones.

Chegirl fwiw I don't recall a single mistake youe veramde and always assummed you were highly educated, you certainly come over as that.

Thanks Peachy

No - no qualifications when I left school.

I get by because I can see what I am typing and re do until I think its ok. I come unstuck with handwriting and avoid forms at all costs.

I am v.embarressed about my spelling etc. I dont have the ground rules to refer to.

I get that horrible feeling in my stomach when expected to handwrite something. I can only try and imagine how hard it is for someone with dyslexia.

I was brought up to be a snob re spelling and grammar but it all changed when I realised my dd was dyslexic.

Now I want to cry when mumsnetters judge and mock poor spelling. It's a shame it took having a dyslexic child for me to reach a mature and empathic view point.

Now I just want to scream, "what does it really matter"?

MrsBlackbeard you do well to raise this issue

I also think the obsession on here with clarifying spelling mistakes in subsequent posts with a is unnecessary, when it's totally obvious what was meant. It's kind of like saying, "I can spell! How embarrassing if someone might think I can't!"

I haven't read the whole thread MrsBlackbeard but I'd like like to applaud you for posting this. And I really hope you stop changing your name. I'm on another board where there are a fair few posters with dyslexia - everyone know (pretty much) who they are and woe betide anyone who corrects them. There is a tendency to pull people up on grammar and/or spelling on bulletin boards - MN is not unusual.

In any event, correcting another poster's posts is unforgivably rude IMO, regardless of any disability they may have or not.

But isnt if funny when somebody does it (usally in a pathetic attempt to score points) and makes some huge mistake themself .

That'll learn em.

I completely agree with all sentiments re dyslexia, spelling ability etc etc.

Can I make one teeny tiny point though without being flamed? Someone posted that they were perfectly able to spell and write properly but couldn't be bothered, as its just a forum. I take issue with that slightly, as a lot of the time people are asking for help or advice, soliciting input from others. Not being arsed to make your posts clear and readable is you are perfectly able to is, to my mind, rather rude. It says you're not worth the effort, and so then why would you expect anyone to respond to you, taking their time and effort?

Just niggles me a bit is all. More so on another forum I frequent, where people post looking for serious practical and financial advice, but can't be bothered with punctuation or sentences and get really arsey when asked to make it clearer so that people can spend considerable time to help them. Same with text speak, which many of us just don't understand at all.

just to be clear, that last post was aimed only at people who can but can't be bothered, not at those that have difficulties. I think if there were less of the former it would be easier for the latter also.

I agree poo with a lot you say.

I am very very hot on clear information. 'Proper' grammer can often get in the way of this. If someone follows all the rules it can make information difficult to understand.

I was working on a book for Deaf sign language users. It was aimed at those with English as a second language (sign being their first). It was really important that it was simple and clear. The text kept being sent to Chief Rabbi who was insisting the grammer/structure was ridgidly correct. This made it much harder for the target audience to understand.

Not sure how that book ever got published

Haven?t been back to this thread because off unfolding situation at home involving one of our mates falling off boat yesterday as the thread got going. He?s ok thank God, but bloody cold time of the year to fall in; it was the climax of lots of boat related fuck ups.
It was indeed an emotional day yesterday with messages of support and understanding and mixed with shock watch good mate disappearing into water. Im just so relieved he?s ok.
Going back to the thread, Re text speak, I wouldn?t normally use it in a text, let alone attempt to post with it. I just try not to judge people using it. My niece who is also dyslexic, and through no fault of her own eneded up fall out of school at 15 (family break up and other crap stuff), uses text speak a lot when I correspond with her.
Its how she writes as no bugger else gave her any help with her dyslexia (I live too far away) at school when she was there, and she left too soon to complete her schooling.
I know she a bright and a talented artist, I just don?t want to judge her on how she writes, text speek is al she got.
I always wonder how some on like Jane Austin would react to reading how we write to day. Im sure it would look ugly, alien and impenetrable to her.

I would only ever pick on somebody's spelling if their own post was snobby about other people's education (you do see it sometimes on MN). But agree there is far too much nit-picking.