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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be irrationally irritated by referring to people the wrong side of 30, with a couple of kids and a lot of emotional baggage as a 'bride' or 'groom'?

86 replies

moondog · 27/11/2009 21:41

Hmm
OP posts:
dearprudence · 27/11/2009 21:42

I've never heard this term used. What does it mean?

AvrilH · 27/11/2009 21:43

Depends. Is there a tiara and a meringue involved?

Are you wearing them?

2shoes · 27/11/2009 21:46

yabu as I don't get it

JodieO · 27/11/2009 21:49

I don't get it either

groundhogs · 27/11/2009 21:51

Oh lord, can someone please explain it to me, I really don't have the energy for another 'comfort'-style thread...

lindsaygii · 27/11/2009 21:55

I think it might mean that they are desperardoes out to get married to anyone that will have them. But I'm not sure. And I'm only spending so much time on it cos I'm too tired to lift my hands off the keyboard so I'm stuck here all night...

sparkle09 · 27/11/2009 22:05

not another confusing thread, theres been too many, cant be arsed to try and work it out,

southeastastra · 27/11/2009 22:08

i quite like seeing oaps getting married and being described as the bride and groom.

you misery moondog

YanknCock · 27/11/2009 22:13

What's the point of asking if you're being 'unreasonable' if you've already put the answer ('irrational') in the title?

JodieO · 27/11/2009 22:14

Will there be any clarification or are you going to leave us guessing?

nickschick · 27/11/2009 22:18

uh??
meh

WickedWench · 27/11/2009 22:19

Well I'm 42, been with DP 25 years and have a 22 year old DS. If we do ever get married, which will probably only be to ensure pension inheritance or something, I would quite like to be described as the bride I think.

What do you suggest I should be called?

Cheappinkfizz · 27/11/2009 22:23

what terms would you use then?

overweightoptimist · 27/11/2009 22:25

Not sure what you mean but if a woman is over 30 with kids and is getting married I would probably not describe her as a "blushing" bride. But would call her a bride, yes.

lindsaygii · 27/11/2009 22:29

re : blushing, or not..

Well, all those traditions are just paid lip service these days anyway. Wearing white is meant to indicate the bride's virginal status.

Not completely accurate at many weddings I don't think..

theyoungvisiter · 27/11/2009 22:31

"By Cheappinkfizz Fri 27-Nov-09 22:23:15
what terms would you use then?"

The old bag and the gaffer?

Think you are being a little bonkers moondog - if someone is getting married they are a bride.

It's like saying you are annoyed at someone over 30 being described as a daughter. Just becuase you associate the word with a loved up 20-year-old, doesn't mean that's correct.

overweightoptimist · 27/11/2009 22:31

Yes, and "giving the bride away" is pretty weird too, as on the whole women are not viewed as men's property in society any more.

JodieO · 27/11/2009 22:33

"Not sure what you mean but if a woman is over 30 with kids and is getting married I would probably not describe her as a "blushing" bride. But would call her a bride, yes."

Why not? And why over 30 with kids? Would 29 be ok? Not sure I'm getting the logic here seeing as very few brides/grooms are virgins when they marry, regardless of their age.

theyoungvisiter · 27/11/2009 22:33

"giving the old bag away" has a much more sprightly ring.

I agree giving away is outdated and sexist, but that's a whole different ballgame, really isn't it? Nowt to do with the word bride, as such.

JodieO · 27/11/2009 22:34

While we're at it, wrong side of 30? Would be younger imo hehe :p

overweightoptimist · 27/11/2009 22:35

Because I think the expression "blushing brides" relates to brides who were expected to be virgins, same as the whole wearing white shenanigans.

lindsaygii · 27/11/2009 22:36

Jodie ha ha, yeah, wrong side of 40 too, while you're at it... heh.

theyoungvisiter · 27/11/2009 22:36

Question - I got married at 29 with one child. Was I a bride? Or not?

I wore a white and brown dress (prettier than it sounds) to symbolise my besmirched innocence

overweightoptimist · 27/11/2009 22:37

Dunno, moondog needs to come back and explain her OP!

Your dress sounds lovely

theyoungvisiter · 27/11/2009 22:38

But is the whole wearing white=virgin thing not UTTERLY disgusting and sexist and outdated and generally horrid?

It's only one step away from waving the bloodied marriage sheet out of the window on the morning after really, isn't it?

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