to be irrationally irritated by referring to people the wrong side of 30, with a couple of kids and a lot of emotional baggage as a 'bride' or 'groom'?

[moondog]

The term "groom" always makes me think of horses, anyway.

yes the wearing of a virginal white dress that show acres of flesh.

Thank you btw! It was rather nice, if I say so myself .

I don't think it's ever been that accurate that the bride was a virgin! In some cases I'm sure it is - my DM for one - but certainly not in many cases.

As a genealogist I've done too many family trees - not just mine I hasten to add - to believe it. So very many babies born much less than 9 months after a wedding. And I'm talking from the early 1600s right through to the early 20th century.

Maybe I shall be a 'world weary' or a 'can we just get this over with and go to the pub' bride. And I certainly won't be wearing white!

Does anyone know how far back wearing white goes as a tradition? Is it another Victorian invention like Christmas trees and tartan?

haha is there a right side of 30?or is it all wrong

Oh FFS, a woman getting married is called a Bride, the Man a Groom. Deal with it OP, no need be so bitter and twisted about it, not forgetting actually ageist!

Being the 'wrong side of 30' doesn't mean that you no longer have the right to a wedding!

Jesus, is nothing sacred anymore, is there no subject someone will have a go at for the sake of it?

Let people get married when they want and call themselves what they wish!

Well, I'm sure some of them were virgins... Heh.

On the subject of genealogy and children of marriages in the olden days - is it not also true that the youngest child, often born about sixteen or seventeen years after the oldest, was quite often actually the grandchild. That is, to cover up for an eldest daughter, mum would claim her first grandchild as her last baby...

Certainly when my auntie started looking at our family tree we had a feeling about the spacing between her mum and older siblings. Best oldest 'sister' still wore white for her wedding too...

haha moondog taking the piss,gettin stoated

Good God woman, you are miserable at the moment. Lighten up.

Haha YANBU. I know exactly what you mean OP . Especially when I hear one of them ones referred to as a princess on her wedding day. No you're not honey, more like the aging queen.

runs away from mob

yeah, white weddings were a Victorian invention, after Queen Victoria wore one.

Might have just been to boost the lace trade!

Wikipedia

Thanks linsaygii

Oh, right. You mean when someone of that age is getting married, you don't refer to them as the bride or groom. I thought you meant in general.

YAB a teensy bit U

Indeed so Lindsaygii, I have also come across a number of unfeasibly old mothers - and yes I know late pregnancies can happen but mid 50s is definitely pushing it - whose 'children' end up living with their 'sister' in later census returns.

Obviously I know little of how the family relationships and dynamics actually worked but at least they weren't thrown out on the streets or into the workhouse.

Princess lol. I think I'd be honoured to be called an Old Queen, especially by my gay friends.

You've kind of answered your own question there, OP, since "unreasonable" and "irrational" mean more or less the same thing. But I'm sure you knew that anyway, right.

yabu to be irrationally irritated

irritated is just fine

I got married last year (our first anniversary tomorrow as it happens) - I was 33 (gasp !), had a dd (horror !) and probably thought of myself as a bride. I did wear bright red though

I sort of know what you mean though - it wasn't my first wedding and the thought of doing the whole tiara, veil, first dance and being "given" away thing did turn my blood cold

What would non irritating terms be ?

So... to get married over the age of 30 is equated with desperation? I'd have thought it was quite the opposite - the demonstration that they didn't just "settle" for the first person they kissed.

I recently got married at 30 with 2 kids. I wore purple and my kids walked down the aisle with me. I was a bride though as there doesnt seem to be another name for it!

A bride is a woman who's getting married. Where's the problem?

Guffaw at 'groom' and horse connection.

I think what I find particulalry irritating about it is the way people refer to themselves as 'the bride' or 'the 'groom'.

Thus Dawn Roberts, 33, been around the block a few times, drives a battered Ford Focus starts referring to herself and her bloke, Dave Parfitt, works in retail, likes a few pints as 'the bride' and 'the gromm'.

Madness i call it.

Exactly what are you wittering on about Moondog?

Oh I see! they are only allowed to be "the bride" or "the groom" if they are 18 and went to public school? or something like that

please talk about food again moondog, I still miss the poncey Chistmas dinner threads.

Moondog, most of the time you are right (I'm overlooking your choice of newspaper). On this occasion, sadly, you are WRONG.

They are words which refer to a woman and a man, of any age, who are about to get married or are in the process of getting married. They don't need to be blushing, young or virginal. The Ford Focus analogy is baffling.