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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry about babysitter taking DS in the car?

57 replies

Makipuppy · 27/11/2009 13:16

I have booked at babysitter to look after DS (12 weeks) for the day. I got her off a childcare website, spoke to her on the phone and then she came round to meet us. She seems very competent, has a crb certificate, cv with lots of experience on it, was full of ideas of how to entertain DS, generally very warm and capable holding him.

DP will be in nearly all day, so she won't be on her own.

But she's only 20 and she's just said that she'll be parking nearby so as we have a car seat would it be ok if she took him to the park etc.

We live right in the centre of town, by lots of cafes etc. and the seafront and DS is a little young for swings anyway. I feel nervous about her driving with him. Also, she might take him to a friend's house and natter with her all day. I don't have any reason to suspect this (other than what i was like as an au pair at her age).

What does anyone think? This is my very first experience of childcare so I really don't know what to expect.

OP posts:
Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 27/11/2009 13:20

YANBU no need for her to drive/

EldonAve · 27/11/2009 13:24

why do you need childcare if someone else is home?

12 week olds do not need to visit the park

FabIsVeryLucky · 27/11/2009 13:25

YANBU.

No need for her to drive.

Nothing a 12 week old can do at the park other than look and he can do that with a walk on the sea front.

Firawla · 27/11/2009 13:29

you are the one who gets to make the decision as its your baby and you have employed her, so if you are not happy with it just tell her no. im sure she will accept it without taking offense

SpodgeMcBiscuit · 27/11/2009 13:30

YANBU. My lie-o-meter tells me that your perfect excuse is:

"Well the car seat was fitted by those experts at Halfords. I haven't checked if it's safe for your car, or the best way to fit in your car. What if it's not suitable. Oh I know I'm being a worried mummy but would you mind if I said no for now? How about you walk down the seafront?"

Picante · 27/11/2009 13:31

Why are you doing this btw?

Chunkamatic · 27/11/2009 13:32

Just say that you'd rather she didn't. there's no point you being worried all day over it. It seems like she's asked your permission so why would she be surprised if the answer is no?

Picante · 27/11/2009 13:33

Not judging, just never thought of doing this.

mumblechum · 27/11/2009 13:37

Just say you'd rather she didn't, as there are other options for taking him out for an airing.

Original poster
Makipuppy · 27/11/2009 13:44

Thanks. I just emailed her to say we didn't want her to take him out in the car because it wasn't necessary etc. I've asked her to confirm that she's understood that.

Picante, it was the only idea I had. I work occasional days here and there, maybe two a month. I'm not really going back to work yet (I'm freelance), but for my job I need to keep in practice and maintain clients etc. I have to get an early morning flight and won't be back till late evening. I liked the idea that she would be here, with DP around and about, just doing what I would do normally, until DP can take over at 5.

What do other people do in this situation?

OP posts:
FabIsVeryLucky · 27/11/2009 13:46

I suspect they get their DP to manage like wahm would do.

Alambil · 27/11/2009 13:49

I'd go stir crazy if I was stuck to the local town / house whilst nannying! There's only so many times a walk along the same road is interesting lol

Original poster
Makipuppy · 27/11/2009 13:50

Well, DP is a professional gambler, so I'd rather he kept his eye on the screen or we'll all end up in the street...

I do take your point though, he did offer to hold the fort while he was working, but I don't think DS would have much fun sitting in his swinging chair all day or anything else that kept him quiet and I thought this would be an option worth trying.

Is it a bad option? She has experience with newborns and good references.

OP posts:
FabIsVeryLucky · 27/11/2009 13:57

Is it every day and for a long period of time as it reads as just a one off, ie babysitter.

nappyaddict · 27/11/2009 13:59

I don't think it is a bad option. Many WAHM's have childcare in place else you just wouldn't get any work done!

emsyj · 27/11/2009 14:19

Am I the only person who thinks that you can't possibly work at home AND look after a child??? Unless of course you neglect one or the other? I don't know anyone who would work at home without having childcare - in the same way as it would not be normal or generally seen as acceptable to take your child into the office with you.

YANBU to ask the nanny not to take your child in the car if it makes you uncomfortable. You may change your mind in future if you use this nanny regularly, but for now just say you know you are very protective, but you'd rather she didn't.

alarkaspree · 27/11/2009 14:24

It's fine to ask her not to take your ds in the car, I'm sure she will understand.

It's also fine to employ an occasional babysitter while you are working.

RealityMNTVStar · 27/11/2009 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cakewench · 27/11/2009 14:36

no, emsyj, you aren't. I don't understand the people coming down on the OP for wanting childcare while someone is trying to work at home. I found it impossible to attempt to write papers for my Economics course, for example, while trying to keep the baby entertained, or at least not crying. My husband is a researcher at the local Uni, and while he always makes himself available for childcare, the quality of care goes down quite a bit if he's trying to get some work done at the same time.

If the baby is 12 weeks, I'd say no. Not that it isn't good for the baby to get some fresh air, but they could go for a walk and achieve the same thing. Just say you aren't comfortable with it for now, and say maybe it's something you might re-think in the future?

SpodgeMcBiscuit · 27/11/2009 14:37
Biscuit
mumblechum · 27/11/2009 14:40

I used to know a professional gambler. He was mixed Indian and Italian

GhoulsAreLoud · 27/11/2009 14:41

I work from home 3 days a week in a 9-5 office job and have a childminder.

My friend (who sounds like she has a similar style job to the OP) is a freelance publishing and works while her DD sleeps. Her DH also sometimes works from home and they manage without childcare.

They have done since their DD was about 3 months and she is nearly a year now.

They get along just fine. So it is possible.

nappyaddict · 27/11/2009 14:42

Until she stops sleeping in the day and it sounds like the OPs DH can't fit his work in around naps.

GhoulsAreLoud · 27/11/2009 14:45

Yep, that's what I thought

But they can cross that bridge when they come to it, certainly didn't worry about it at 12 weeks.

I just thought I'd give two sides - I need childcare, they don't. It's not always cut and dried.

cakewench · 27/11/2009 16:45

yes, ghouls, that's what I meant with my response. I know there are tasks I can do while watching the baby, and there are some I can't. It just depends on the work, of course.

We have totally taken the thread off topic. No surprise, on mumsnet!

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