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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that being 36+ weeks pregnant is enough of a reason not to go out?

44 replies

CoffeeMum · 27/11/2009 09:07

I'm a bit hesitant to give too much detail, but in general, would someone being 36.5 weeks pregnant be enough of a reason for them not to attend a social event that finishes late at night? Just wanted a bit of a show of hands/straw poll really....thanks!

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 27/11/2009 09:08

God yes. When I was that pregnant I barely left the house, never mind went out for the evening!

BexJ78 · 27/11/2009 09:09

Hi there, I am 38+6 weeks and am still going out for the odd social event. it depends on how you are feeling though.. Some people feel crap by this stage; i m lucky in that i still feel ok!

blondiep14 · 27/11/2009 09:09

I would hope so, yes!
My sister has just asked if we're going for a few drinks on Christmas Eve. I'll be 37 weeks pregnant with number 2.
Declined!

MadameMoo · 27/11/2009 09:09

Definitely enough reason not to attend.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/11/2009 09:10

hmm. I think detail is needed unfortunately. without detail I would say no, not enough of a reason but that's only because I managed a wedding/reception at that stage without a problem. However I would happily accept a rejection from any friend who was pregnant at ANY stage, and just didn't feel up to a 'do'. You just accept that if someone doesn't feel up to it, they don't.

CarmenSanDiego · 27/11/2009 09:10

Well, if you want to go out, there's no reason not to really. There's no rule saying you should be confined to the house.

But if you don't want to go out and you're feeling tired and huge, then it's a good enough excuse. Why go out if you don't feel like it?

serenity · 27/11/2009 09:12

If you don't feel up to going then yes, on the other hand if you're that that pregnant and want to go out, it shouldn't be a reason not to. Whatever you want, your choice.

bellissima · 27/11/2009 09:15

You should do whatever you want. Personally I looked and felt like a beached whale from about 32 weeks in both pregnancies. Just wanted to go into a (wide) cupboard until it was over.

Original poster
CoffeeMum · 27/11/2009 09:16

Thanks all. Fact is, I absolutely do not want to go, i feel terrible and exhausted and am nervous about straying too far from home as DC1 was a bit early. Will also have to pay £70+ for the night out. However, nobody seems to think it's remotely bizarre that i've said i'm coming on a 'big night out' so i'm a bit worried about cancelling [though i suppose they're probably taking their cues from me]. Should add that I would absolutely love to go, if not for this pregnancy...

OP posts:
theoutdoorlifeforme · 27/11/2009 09:19

I didn't like going out/too far once I got to that stage as I was worried about the baby coming and being too far from my local hospital. And I also didn't want to risk a late. tiring night with the possibility of going into labour the next day, already worn out. I preferred to conserve my energy!

addictedtolatte · 27/11/2009 09:21

depends on how your feeling really. i was lucky to feel great when i was 38weeks so i went out 1 night before he was due. i made the most of my free time.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/11/2009 09:23

Blimey don't worry at all about cancelling! As I said personally I would accept pregnancy as a reason for someone not to come to something. I remember when I was in the very early stages, about 12 weeks I think, we went to a very loud night out with friends and I just couldn't bear it. For some totally bizarre reason, I said to DH we had to leave - I didn't feel ill, just intensely vulnerable in some way. Weird. But he and our friends accepted this graciously, which is the only thing to do imo!

BexJ78 · 27/11/2009 09:35

i think it depends where you are going too. I'm going to a fancy dress party tomorrow night, but lots of people i know are going and will know I am heavily pg and therefore not expect me to; be drunk, be dancing, or bash into me in their drunken states. However, went out with girls from work a few weeks ago and had to go home early (about 11!) as lots of drunk people had obv missed the fact tha I was pg (quite how, I don't know?!) and i was worried about them crashing into me and my bump!

Igglybuff · 27/11/2009 10:12

YANBU - I stopped going out far from home at about 36 weeks. Once I explained that baby would be full term from 37 weeks and could show up anytime, they understood!

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 27/11/2009 10:15

Didn't leave the house from 35 weeks, could barely make it up the stairs as had very bad SPD. Was crippled with pain, size of a house and fucking miserable.

YANBU.

Ixia · 27/11/2009 10:23

YANBU and as you said your friends are probably taking their cues from you. Just say that you thought you'd be fine when you booked, but now that you are further along with your pregnancy, you don't feel up to it.

sparklycheerymummy · 27/11/2009 10:25

I am 39+6 weeks and have had the odd hour out or evening at friends houses but not far away at all.... though me and dp have a hot curry night planned for tomorrow!!!!!! YANBU....... its up to you lovey!!!!!!!!!!

muminclogs · 27/11/2009 10:33

I'd say yes! Final stage of pregnancy is the perfect excuse to skip any boring social events. But if you want to go, by all means do! I wish I'd felt like going out, because post birth you can't really go anywhere nice for a while in my experience

mrsbean78 · 27/11/2009 11:54

It's all dependant on how you feel. No one will hold it against you or think you're some pathetic kill-joy if that's what you're asking! I'm 41+2 today and have been on mat leave since 37 weeks. Since then, I've been out at a few major events at night and yet have declined daytime visits from other friends with small children because my energy levels have varied so much. If you don't want to go, don't go! If you do, do!

mumof2rugrats · 27/11/2009 12:04

i went to frankie and benies on my due date and they put us on a bench table and i had to sit side wards because i was too fat

LouMacca · 27/11/2009 12:05

YANBU. I can remember how I felt at 36 weeks (huge, exhausted, nervous) and did not attend any social events at that stage. Everyone is different but you should absolutely put yourself and how you feel before anything else.

Firawla · 27/11/2009 12:07

if you dont want to go out, that is totally reasonable & it is a legitimate reason to stay @ home
on the other hand it shouldnt mean u cant go out just cos 36 weeks. you could be just sat at home for a month or more, which is quite excessive
ive planned that im going to a party on my due date but it just depends if you feel up to it and happy to go or not

Francasaysrelax · 27/11/2009 12:13

YANBU.
I actually felt great in my last month of pregnancy and went out quite a lot, when I was pregnant with my first).
Obviously I didn't have much of a social life when pg with my second ...

meltedchocolate · 27/11/2009 12:16

Every one is differnet. This woman does not feel able to go out. Some manage ok. Some like Franc feel great.

Pregnancy is not something you can generalise. It is amazing how two woman's pregnancies (or indeed a woman's two experiences of pregnancy) can be so different.

thisxgirl · 27/11/2009 12:52

While some women feel perfectly able and enthusiastic about going out socially and until late at night while heavily pregnant, I think most would rather be in their pajamas on the sofa by 11pm. I just felt tired and uncomfortable towards the end, couldn't be arsed to put on a nice dress and heels, knew I couldn't drink and consequently never really went out at night when pregnant. I wasn't lazy in my pregnancy - I just prioritised different things during that stage and refocused my energies. Instead of tiring myself out going out dancing, I tired myself out 'nesting' for many, many months and working a lot to save up extra cash.

One of my best friends had a big birthday celebration planned when I was four or five months pregnant. I wasn't even showing that much but I just couldn't be bothered to take a limo into the city while everybody sitting around me supped champagne, then visiting loads of different clubs and eventually ending up in a strip club until 3am when the limo would take us home. She was a bit pissed off but her sister, who had had children, explained that none of these activities are particularly fun when you're sober and everybody else in wildly drunk and you're really starting to 'feel' pregnant.