To think that good manners and politeness have disappeared from British culture.

[ClaireyFairy82]

Am I the only one who feels that we?re lacking any basic consideration and good manners in Britain, I mostly blame the media for our current culture of spontaneous outrage and nastiness, but nobody seems prepared to do anything about it. All I see on tv is people over-reacting to everything they might disagree with and being vile to each other e.g. x factor, Jeremy Kyle, wife swap, strictly come dancing (I could go on forever) even prime minister?s question time.

Tv is an amazing educational tool but it?s teaching our children to disrespect and degrade people. Even many programmes aimed at children are about playing tricks on each other, scheming and doing anything you can to have the last word/laugh or get what you want with no consideration towards others.

It?s having a terrible impact on our well being as a society, as people forget how to discuss their opinions and accept that other people?s are just as important and valid as. As a teacher I have noticed that children are picking up on it more and more. They don?t know how to talk to each other or to adults anymore because all they are exposed to is this horrible yabu culture.

My husband and I went to New Zealand on honeymoon in August and people are right when they say it?s like Britain in a bygone era. Everyone is so friendly and polite over there. They get proper customer service in shops and complete strangers will do anything to help. It was such a breath of fresh air. But it?s so sad that our own nation has forgotten something which used to set is apart from others ? good manners.

Okay rant over! Your turn

I don't agree.

I find I think much kinder thoughts about the human race if I don't watch reality tv, soaps and Jeremy Kyle.

I went to a large shopping centre yesterday, all the shop assistants were lovely and a teenager saw me struggling with a box and carried it to my car for me.

People rarely talk about how good the world is, only the bad.

Turn off the television. You're wrong.

I think you must be right as I'm always pleasantly surprised when people do have manners. When I was little if you went into a shop and didn't say please and thank you the nearest adult would remind you without fear of being called an interfering old whatever.

Sorry, most people are lovely round here too. Apart from the older generation, which is curious!

Don't know about young folk but i work in a village shop (newsagent etc.) and mostly it's middle aged / old folk who come in and they are SOOOO bloody rude as a general rule. When one is polite to me i'm shocked.

Aaaah the great British public eh?

I'm sure there are plenty of lovely polite people out there but they don't live where i work!

I think it must be where you're living, because it's not very often I come across anybody rude where I live.

I think people overrate the influence of the telly, most of us can tell the difference between what's on it and reality. If anybody is rude, it's because they don't know any better, or perhaps they're having a bad day?

I'd be amazed if you've ever come across any child or teenager who has forgotten how to discuss their opinion that's all I ever hear from mine

In france....

arf

Stop watching TV.

The British seem quite nice to me, a bit grumpy sometimes but it does rain all the bloody time so I can understand that.

Everyone is nicer when you are on holidays. Most people are nice to tourists, even in France!

lol DanDruff, I've just been reading your thread, they're so much more polite in the way they show their disdain towards johnny foreigner in France

No, that is not my experience at all.

I generally find people to be very polite, kind and helpful to me and my children.

Until recently I did voluntary work with teenagers and I found them to be articulate and pleasant.

The children my children go to school with are lovely and seem to like their teachers and get on well with them.

I work in a university and the teenagers coming in are pleasant and respectful.

People are generally more considerate of people with disabilities now.

Teenagers seem to have much better relationships with their families now than they did when I was young; I think it is because the behaviour of parents has changed - parents seem to have closed the generation gap a little.

Not once they have ascertained that you are not British though?

Random French Person: Anglais?
Me: Non
Random French Person: Ah! (big smile)

YABU

Unless you have travelled the length and breath of Britain and done studies on it you cant say that about Britain as a whole, it may just be your area where people lack manners

Come to the North, you will find us much more Friendly and polite

I'm actually really pleased to hear that others are having different experiences. It does restore the faith somewhat and maybe I?m guilty of over-generalising, for which I apologise if any offence was taken.

Maybe I have a slightly skewed view this week, having dealt with children?s problems all week at work. But the way that children speak and relate to each other seems to be deteriorating all the time and it really bothers me. I have found that even in different schools they?re so rude to each other and adults, for no apparent reason, in the classroom and outside. It?s not always necessarily what they say, but just the tone they use, even amongst their friends.

It?s not great surprise that we have more bullying (including cyber bullying) happening in schools and homes across the country, because they way people talk to each other can be so cruel these days ? and seems accepted by many because that?s what we?re exposed to on a daily basis on tv, in newspapers, magazines and on the radio.

To be honest there have even been responses to threads on mumsnet, where people have been very rude and insulting to others for simply having opposing views, rather than allow for discussion ? which is what the forums are designed for.

YANBU. I am always surprised when someone is polite to me and it really cheers me up. This seems like a sad state of affairs that it makes me surprised.

My 12 year old (half) sister is a typical example. She speaks to me as if she were an adult (cause she is allowed to at home) and I find it disgusting. She questions me on my finances and if I don't get her a present she says that I have money to spend on a kitchen etc! I have saved for years, I'll spend my money on what I bloody well like. She always has to have the last word and if you try and pull her up on anything she just comes out with some crap so she can have the last word. Drives me so mad I won't talk to her sometimes. Shes just so rude and just says that she is sticking up for herself. If this is the next generation then help us all!! Lets all do what we can to make our DCs polite again!!

Actually there are people out there who are good, kind decent people. I mustn't forget that and try to focus on them. I had to get the bus recently and it wasn't an easy access so I had to fold up the pushchair. This was before my DS was walking and people cam off the bus to help me and the other end people got off to help me off and put the pushchair up. Such acts do restore your faith in the decency of others.

I don't agree. I've seen some appalling behaviour in the 12th century . Totally disrespectful of other people. And last night's lecture convinced me that the 17th century was another one to avoid. As has my bedtime reading the last week. The witch trials really did not bring out the best in the younger generation (bit like the Chinese Cultural Revolution in that respect).

Always feel a bit about people who claim that "our children" are learning to be rude. Do you mean mine or yours? If mine, I would dispute that (as would their teachers). If yours- well, that really is your responsibility.

People in the South are polite too - honest guv I wouldn't use TV as your barometer for the politeness of a nation - especially not the programmes you've mentioned.

I don't think that politeness and manners have disappeared. What I think has gone is people 'knowing their place' which isn't necessarily always a bad thing. What makes one person better than another? Very subjective.

ClairyFairy - perhaps the children are unable to socialise properly because most of them are in childcare from a very young age? (And no, this isn't a critisism, merely an observation).

I think there is loads of selfish and rude behaviour around from all ages. I noticed a huge difference when I was in Canada last year - people were helpful, chatty, interested and very friendly.

i think yabu.

i find lots of people helpful with the exception of london bus drivers.

tube staff are always helpful

people in shops are helpful and don't mind a chat.

i think all in all i think i live in a nice country with helpful well mannered people

btw - i think that it isn't the medias fault - if there is any fault to place it is with parents.

at Morloth's 'A bit grumpy but it does rain all the bloody time' . Where are you from, Morloth, you remind me of all the many Spanish people who were so funny about Britain when we lived there - they clearly thought that going back to the UK for a holiday was going to be some hellish experience for us of never-ending fog and rain.

Having said that, the people in Wales are in my experience very polite and helpful - and rarely grumpy, despite the rain!!!

I'm always also amazed at how polite and charming all the teenagers I meet these days are - can't decide whether teenagers are nicer than they were when I was one, or whether they're always polite to middle aged ladies & I now fall into that category

Callisto Wed 25-Nov-09 20:07:15
"ClairyFairy - perhaps the children are unable to socialise properly because most of them are in childcare from a very young age?"

Oh dear, you're making me nervous about going to Scandinavia for Christmas. Virtually all children go to nurseries there. What do you think they'll do to me?

Cory - hopefully you'll be fine... But there does seem to be a correlation in the UK with the ages of children in childcare and their emotional development. Maybe childcare in Scandanavia is vastly superior to childcare in the UK?

I think we all have a responsibility to expect high social standards and certainly, that's my approach to parenting. My DD has been in regular childcare since she was 12 mo and having just gone to her pre-school parents evening tonight, am proud to say her behaviour was commended. Indeed, an older lady in a coffee shop described her as 'delightful' the other day.

I'd be extremely disappointed if anyone judged the wider population of Britain by the individuals you find on The Jeremy Kyle Show of all things. I think most people in the UK would despair at the characters featured on that.

There is also a degree of 'getting what you give' out of social interactions. In my job, I come into contact with the entire social spectrum of adults. Sometimes, I think we are all guilty of pre-judging individuals and moderating our behaviour in anticipation of how they will react, thereby provoking them to respond in the way we expect them to, rather than being ourselves and allowing others to respond in a similarly pleasant manner.

You're right that we as parents are responsible for bringing up our children in the best possible way that we can, so it isn't all the media's fault. But isn't it a reflection of the times we live in and children do learn a lot from the things they're exposed to in their environment. I know I used some pretty extreme examples above, but there are actually many children's programmes and even story books which have rudeness and ridicule at their centre

In the future, when people learn about life in the 21st Century, what sources of evidence will they look at to determine how we lived our lives?

Ironically I don't actually watch that much tv as I find most of it to be quite appalling, but I am looking forward to Gavin and Stacey!

I think it can be true on mn - not this thread