To think that good manners and politeness have disappeared from British culture.

[ClaireyFairy82]

Am I the only one who feels that we?re lacking any basic consideration and good manners in Britain, I mostly blame the media for our current culture of spontaneous outrage and nastiness, but nobody seems prepared to do anything about it. All I see on tv is people over-reacting to everything they might disagree with and being vile to each other e.g. x factor, Jeremy Kyle, wife swap, strictly come dancing (I could go on forever) even prime minister?s question time.

Tv is an amazing educational tool but it?s teaching our children to disrespect and degrade people. Even many programmes aimed at children are about playing tricks on each other, scheming and doing anything you can to have the last word/laugh or get what you want with no consideration towards others.

It?s having a terrible impact on our well being as a society, as people forget how to discuss their opinions and accept that other people?s are just as important and valid as. As a teacher I have noticed that children are picking up on it more and more. They don?t know how to talk to each other or to adults anymore because all they are exposed to is this horrible yabu culture.

My husband and I went to New Zealand on honeymoon in August and people are right when they say it?s like Britain in a bygone era. Everyone is so friendly and polite over there. They get proper customer service in shops and complete strangers will do anything to help. It was such a breath of fresh air. But it?s so sad that our own nation has forgotten something which used to set is apart from others ? good manners.

Okay rant over! Your turn

I live in the north and am from the north and I find most ppl I come into contact with polite and couldn't do enough for me.

EG I have a flat tire ppl pull over and offer to help

I struggle with shopping people offer to help

Service in restaurants good

Young ppl- especially teenagers opening doors when I struggle with prams etc.

I may be 26 and a new mum ( and slightly tipsey for the first time since having my DD aged 4 months) but in my experience ppl are friendly on the majority its only the few who give the rest a bad rep

Anyway back to the baileys

I very rarely come across rudeness.Even on the tube I've had people offering seats,helping hold doors ect.A lot of the time you get what you give-we eat out with the dds quite a lot and 9 times out of 10 we are complimented on the dd's manners and behaviour by other diners.

YANBU , I haven't had tv for 7 years now, so very little influence from that . BUT I've worked in retail for the last 15 years and have to say that people have got ruder and less pleasant to deal with in the last 4 years or so. NZ was a similar experience for us,OP, we felt we belonged there and that people held the same values as us. At work we often say it would be a delight to have pleasant customers again (and we work in a store with VERY high service standards) ..or if everyone didn't think they were so very special and important or a minor celeb'. I don't mean that in a derisory way to customers but in that so many people seem unable to be civil to another HUMAN!!!

People always seem nicer when you are on holiday, feeling happy and relaxed. And especially abroad. Even if you understand the language, you still aren't so steeped in the culture as you would be at home, so are less likely to notice anything irritating.

So I think you've just had a trying week and it all seems bad. Or you happen to live in a particularly unfriendly part of the UK. Or it's just a sign of age - right back to the Romans people were complaining about the youth of today. (And presumably before that, too, only we haven't found or understood the evidence yet.)

TV has got much more rough, though - if you are as ancient as me, you'll remember when we all used to laugh at Clive James showing clips of Japanese TV shows making people eat insects for fun. Because no-one in this country would ever dream of making programmes that just exploited people for fun...

Gavin and Stacy? Are welsh people really as moronic as the people on this show? I think not. My best friend has Welsh parents. I know that they are not thick as planks as the show portrays them so may be TV does have a lot of influence on people. I know it's a comedy so maybe I just don't get it.

Well I don't think that is so. IME most people are pleasant and friendly. I think you should stop watching daytime TV and reality shows. That isn't real.

I will ask DH if NZ really is like britain in a bygone era what a generalisation, and an incorrect and patronising one at that.

New Zealand is pretty much the same as every other country - they have some wonderfully friendly people who will do anything to help, and other people who can't really be bothered.

Also what OrmIrian said - turn off the tv and stop watching all the trash that is on

Now, generally, I find people where I live to be hospitable and friendly.

But, not in Asda

I don't think that NZ is the heaven it is sometimes portrayed as. My DH is from NZ and we've been over there a few times to see his family. Yes, people in shops can be polite, but I find that to be true in Hackney. The NZ driving surprised me, no one seems to let people into queues or does the 'you go first' wave thing. You can wait for ages at a crossing for a car to stop. And don't get me started on the casual racism.

Back in London (where I was born and bred) I have met my fair share of lovely bus drivers. For example, I saw a bus that would take me home but was on a diverted route (right in the centre of town), I was tired and automatically put out my hand. The bus driver pulled up and said "I'm not really supposed to stop here, but you often get this bus, don't you?". Maybe he remembered me as I always say thank you when I get on buses and perhaps you get back what you give.

Also, on a bus in Hackney I recently saw a 9 or 10 year old boy stand up for an elderly man with more grace than I could muster if I'd taken lessons. I smiled at him and got a lovely smile back. I think the whole of the bottom deck of the bus was smiling and feeling cheered up. I must have missed the crack-heads eating their own dogs on the top deck.

Long-winded way of saying you can see anything in a situation if you look hard enough for it.

Is this another "isn't everywhere else Utopia and Britain is crap" thread?

PS I have a lesson I do with my students which shows that NZ crime figures are about double those of the UK. Perhaps they just knife you in a polite way?

Did the manners and politeness you experienced in New Zealand extend to the indigenous population?

New Zealand is hideously racist and misogynistic in my experience. Nothing to aspire to.

''I must have missed the crack-heads eating their own dogs on the top deck''

crying with laughter

TDWP, you need to read that thread about the most disgusting things people have seen on public transport- it is quite an eye-opener

Here

RE NZ, You were on your honeymoon, in a loved up shagfest situation, everyone would have appeared wonderful and rose tinted.

I agree with the posters who say that rudeness is less widespread than you'd imagine. I am always shocked by rudeness/impolite people.

Mind you, I do live up North

lol at Bucharest and people stabbing each other in a polite way

I have no experience of NZ, but when my dd first started using a wheelchair I discovered how many genuinely helpful and kindly people there are out there

"Not once they have ascertained that you are not British though?

Random French Person: Anglais?
Me: Non
Random French Person: Ah! (big smile)
"

it's great being irish sometimes.
fwiw i think yabu OP, i think everyone has just repeated the sentiments you've expressed so many times that we all buy into it now without thinking. so we expect that everyone has no manners and when we see examples of this it sticks with us and we tell people. yet we will gloss over the 9 previous people who said thanks.

I wished i had not clicked on that link BOF

Yeah, you're right. In the olden days everyone was nice and now everyone is a dickhead. There were no social problems before and now there are loads. It's a crying shame, it really is.

Don't want to do the 'in France' thing - but you should spend some time in the country I live in (NOT France!!) and you'll go running screaming back to the UK just to hear some 'pleases' and 'thank-yous'. IME, Brits are really very kind, polite people who often put others first. I think it's something we've been taught from a young age, and it stays with us through life.

Also (I'm on a roll here), on Monday I was waiting for a bus in Hackney/Tottenham borders. When the bus arrived a young man and I made eye contact and gave each big "the bus is here" smiles. We were different age, gender and race, but we were both happy the bus had arrived. Also, he had got to the bus stop first, but stepped back to allow me on to the bus first, so I thanked him. Just a tiny moment in a normal day really, but I agree with mayorquimby, people seem to only mention bad manners, so I'm doing my bit to balance things out.

My two examples are from the last couple of weeks and are fairly normal experiences. I wouldn't even usually mention them but I feel quite defensive for the two young men involved.

TheDevilWearsPrimark

It's just appalling.