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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that news items like this may be where the social snobbery comes from?

60 replies

OooohWhatAFuss · 23/11/2009 08:58

This is not a rant about 'Why have other people got more than me', just something that got me thinking... Watching BBC breakfast this morning about companies that allow you to pay all year then get stuff for Christmas, like Fairpack who went bust a few years ago. A couple were talking about their experiences and how they used this service because they were low income and did not trust themselves not to spend the money on other stuff if they had it in a savings account. Fair enough, a good way of making sure you have the Christmas you want. The report then went on to say that a hamper of fresh fruit/veg from this company would cost over £38 but in the supermarket would cost around £13, so this family are losing out in a major way even though they are trying to budget their money. Was starting to feel bad for this couple who were so obviously trying to be careful with money. BUT THEN it went on to say 'this couple spent £400 on presents for their children, but could have saved £100 on the high street'. I know that people of all incomes can choose to spend money on whatever they like but seriously, in what world does anyone spend £400 on presents for their children at Christmas?? IMHO reports like these will contribute hugely to the view that is so often reflected on MN, that people on low incomes or who claim benefits seem to have more disposable income than you would think. The report was showing how people with limited finds can buy goods by saving throughout the year, a positive message to put across to stop the snobbery about people in different income brackets being able to afford more/less than they 'should' be able to, however was ruined at the end by the message that these people have to save all year to have a nice Christmas day and yet will spend £400 on gifts, more than some of us spend on the whole of Christmas! No wonder people make judgements...

OP posts:
Morosky · 23/11/2009 18:58

It is also very easy for many of us with good incomes, nice homes, children in lovely new clothes and cars to mock those who spend more at Christmas. I can send my dd into school secure in the knowledge that she will never be picked on because of what she does not have, infact I suspect in terms of parental income she is probably one of the most affluent children in the class. SHe has nothing to prove. I grew up in a very poor house and my mum used to spend a fortune at Christmas and it was the one time of year we felt as if we were keeping up with the Jones' or maybe even beating them.

It is also much easier for someone like me with a big back garden, surounded by rolling hills , a car and weekends free to entertain my chid,to tell my dd she does not need a Wii, DS Lite, Xbox etc as we have other ways and means of entertaining her. if I was in a cramped house on an estate I would have every gadget, game and device I could.

FuriousGeorge · 24/11/2009 22:22

The only thing that shocked me about whatever Christmas Club was being featured,was the contents of one hamper that was shown being packed.It had a Fray Bentos pie in it.Very festive.

nobodyisasomebody · 25/11/2009 14:32

Selling a kidney would be fine as you have a spare

are you serious?

obviously would not expect them to sell their heart or similar, that would be unreasonable

Oh, that's ok then..

madamearcati · 25/11/2009 14:58

OOH when my brother lived abroad he begged me to send him Fray bentos pies.Which was strange as he never ate tthem much when he was in the UK

Seriously though I wonder how old the DC of some of the posters are on here.
Where £100 buys a lot for a 5 YO ,it doesn't go anywhere when they hit their teens.
Christmas clubs though are something I absolutely don't get.You get high street vouchers which can be spent at many high street chain stores.Why not put the money in the bank and at xmas get out the folding stuff which can be spent anywhere in the land ?

OooohWhatAFuss · 26/11/2009 12:56

By nobodyisasomebody

" Selling a kidney would be fine as you have a spare

are you serious?

obviously would not expect them to sell their heart or similar, that would be unreasonable

Oh, that's ok then.. "

Yes, I am serious. In fact, I expect people to sell organs to pay for ALL luxuries. Don't you?

OP posts:
pagwatch · 26/11/2009 13:13

I find this thread depressing beyond measure

I buy my children what they ask for within reason. If I can get them a presentthey love and it is £5 then great. If it is £500 and something they really want and I can afford it, then great. I have spent that on my eldest son when we bought him a dog a few years ago.
I don't see that it is anyone elses business and I am in the HUGELY fortunate position that I can afford to buy what I want.

But when I was a child we had nothing and day to day life was a struggle. I know for many years of converstaions withthem that my parents felt very deeply the lack of treats in our daily lives. They saw christmas as an escape from that reality of poverty and an escape , just once a year, when magic happened and we could have treats that we would never get normally.
Christmas seemed like a time of great joy and great happiness - a time I remember now, 40 years later.

To spout about hwta poor people should spend is heartless and denys the pure and simple desire of parents , however unwise economicaly, to give their children a day when life feels 'normal' and not limited to the bleakness of their everyday life.
I think it is mean and shows a determination not to recognise how hard the lives of ordinary, poor chldren can be.

I could very easily lecture others about not over spending on children at christmas as I have the luxury of treating them in small ways all year. My children could take a frugal christmas but for some children this is the one time of the year when they can pretend that their lives are not dominated by needingto spend the money on the gas or the milk.

I think it is incredibly easy to lecture others abouttheir children when your child can have a comic when you are in the supermarket, or a cake when you are in town or a new pair of trainers because the old ones are too small.
When these everyday events are unaffordable christmas suddenly becomes more important and the parents feel justified in a way that day -to - day they simply can't.
It is mean and souless

stickylittlefingers · 26/11/2009 13:38

pagwatch has said what I thought needed to be said. It's like laughing at all the lights on the houses on some of the bleak estates round here. It makes people happy ffs, and joy is in short supply in so many people's lives.

I do agree, tho, that these "saving clubs" are effectively high interest loans, with the one benefit that you are not going to get into difficulty paying them back.

Where I work there is a Christmas savings club where the designated amount is taken straight from your salary and put in an account, and the money given to you before Christmas. That seems sensible for people who would otherwise be tempted to spend it on something else.

Morosky · 26/11/2009 18:09

Great post pagwatch

nobodyisasomebody · 27/11/2009 13:27

OooohWhatAFuss

Yes, I am serious. In fact, I expect people to sell organs to pay for ALL luxuries. Don't you>
No I don't. And either you are joking or you have seriously lost the plot if you think this..

nobodyisasomebody · 27/11/2009 13:29

OooohWhatAFuss

Yes, I am serious. In fact, I expect people to sell organs to pay for ALL luxuries. Don't you?

No I don't. And either you are joking or you have seriously lost the plot if you think this..

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