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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be furious at the way the bailiffs talked to my MIL?

96 replies

Kathyis12feethighandbites · 22/11/2009 09:36

They said 'You've been a very naughty girl, haven't you?'

They had, in fact, phoned up completely the wrong person - she has never owed any money to anyone. She has a very common surname but they were looking for someone with a different initial and different address . But still felt able to berate her on the phone and it took her a while to convince them they had got the wrong person and that they should not come round.

But even if someone did owe them money, how f*cking DARE they talk to someone like that? It's just so creepily threatening.

OP posts:

badietbuddy · 22/11/2009 09:42

O trust me it's completely normal. I had a bailiff show up for council tax I didn't even owe and he said much the same to me. Started off as patronising and ended up downright threatening
I talked to the council who tbh were worse then useless, then went to the CAB where the whole mess was sorted in a couple of hours. Never had an apology from the council, not that I'd expect it The stress it caused me was immense. FWIW, the council and the CAB logged a complaint about the man, but tbh they're not going to be the nicest people are they. He also tried to tell me he had to come in to sort some paperwork. Had I not known better I just might have let him in, which woul dhave led to a whole host of other problems. on your behalf. Do find out who this guy is and put in a complaint both with the collection agancy and whoever the debtor is.

Original poster

Kathyis12feethighandbites · 22/11/2009 09:49

bloody hell, you would expect better from the council. Well, not expect, because we know that everyone contracts out their debt collection without caring how the collectors behave, but you ought to be able to expect better from them.

I'm glad my MIL isn't a shrinking violet. If they did it to my mum she would get immensely upset by it.

OP posts:

iLikeDots · 22/11/2009 09:58

I had a similar phone call a year or so ago. Some fool from the council rang me up demanding where my last installment of council tax was.

I told him I paid it as per normal at the post office about a week previous. It took me about 20mins to convince him, where he basically just patronized me and went short of saying I was a liar and some sort of criminal, finally got through to his boss who apologized immediately as I was in-fact right, and I had never missed a payment.

The boss excused his collegue saying it was his first day on the job. I filed a complaint over the internet and got a response saying the matter would be taken further. and I'm not sure if the guy is working there anymore. I hope not.

Wineonafridaynight · 22/11/2009 10:53

That is awful! Your poor MIL. And also the poor person who did owe money.

It is making the assumption that they have got into financial difficulties on purpose when actually they could have been made redundant, been ill, etc... which has meant keeping up with bills is difficult. No one should be spoken to like that!

OrmIrian · 22/11/2009 10:58

Vile!

Can you ring someone to complain?

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 22/11/2009 11:00

I had a debt collector call me a cunt on the phone once followed by we're going to take your house (I was in rented) and then he pretended that the line had broken up and he just kept saying 'cunt,cunt,cunt' over and over.

UpsyOne · 22/11/2009 11:03

It is totally out of order, but these bailiffs are normally dealing with people on the lower rungs of society that will say and do anything to avoid their social responsibilities.

This doesn't mean that the bailiff had any right to speak to your MIL in that way and I agree she deserves as apology. But she isn't going to get one so the best thing to do is have a little rant but then get over it and move on.

UpsyOne · 22/11/2009 11:04

Lauriefairy - I have just read your post, that's so outrageous it's almost funny. What a nutcase, kind of reminds me of those politically incorrect Mt Tourettes jokes.

dutchmanswife · 22/11/2009 11:07

We've had a steady stream of these phone calls over the last 3 years since we were given a new phone number. They're not after me but the people who had the number previously. I found the best way to deal with them is to explain they,ve made a mistake and if they ring again the call will be viewed as harrasment and you'll take the matter further.

I've found the worst thing to do is engage with them. They view being reasonable as a weakness.

I've also found out loads of information about the family who had the number previously. I know all their names (they all have unpaid debts) their address and who they owe money to. This information is given out freely as they are so desperate for you to admit that you are who they say you are.

JollyPirate · 22/11/2009 11:20

I hate debt collectors with a passion. My parents got into an awful lot of debt problems when my Dad had a serious accident and lost his job (after a year of sick pay which was a fraction of his already low wage). One company sold the debt onto a collection agency. The debt collector who phoned asked for my Dad (I just happened to be there at the time) so I said Dad wasn't there which was true - he was in hospital having had surgery. The DC then had the gall to ask for the ward or bedside phone number. Needless to say I gave him a short shrift and went to the OFT about the company. What sort of person harrases a debtor who is in hospital ffs?

ImSoNotTelling · 22/11/2009 11:22

upsy unfortunately bailiffs are not upstanding pillars of the community doing a hard and difficult job and who need our sympathy, as your post might suggest.

There have been quite a few investigations etc and while some of course follow the rules, others make their living from intimidation and lies.

Apparently when they get a list of debtors, some organisations will ring up everyone they can find with the same name, and threaten them, knowing that evetually someone will likely pay up to get rid of them, even if it is not their debt.

People have been driven to suicide due to the intimidation.

Ronaldinhio · 22/11/2009 11:25

upsyone
It is totally out of order, but these bailiffs are normally dealing with people on the lower rungs of society that will say and do anything to avoid their social responsibilities

if it is totally our of order, and it is, then it should not be followed by a but

lower rungs of society ffs

JollyPirate · 22/11/2009 11:26

Go to the OFT with complaints - they have the power to close these companies down if they are not following the rules. The more complaints they receive the better the picture they can build up.

The company I spoke about above was "spoken to" regarding the request for my Dad's hospital phone number (which of course they denied doing). It didn't happen again and now the debt has been sold on elsewhere.

My parents make a payment via CCCS every month but still get phone calls from these vultures wanting more. Have repeated told my mother to tell them to fuck off but she doesn't - they ask for £5 and she gives it to them.

itsmeolord · 22/11/2009 11:30

Jollypirate - your mum can write to all her debtors explaining that all communication must be in writing and ant telephone calls will be regarded as harassment and treated as such. They have to stick to that.

There is more info on the money saving expert website.

www.moneysavingexpert.co.uk

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 22/11/2009 11:34

I had one (when I owned a business) ring and pretend to be the Police who were on their way to arrest me unless I paid this supplier within the next hour. He did a really crap accent, so I knew it was him, and that the police wouldn't talk such rubbish. Bizarre. I rang the real Police who sorted it out, they're not keen on DC's impersonating Police Officers.

JollyPirate · 22/11/2009 11:54

Thanks for that itsmeolord.

teamcullen · 22/11/2009 11:58

upsyone How dare you say that people who owe money to bailiffs are "on the lower rungs of society that will say and do anything to avoid their social responsibilities"

Most people who owe money do so because they have had changing circumstances, which has meant they havent had the income to cover the outgoings.

I should know. Ive been there! I had to pay £2000 worth of council tax to bailiffs last year due to council cock ups. I also had to drop out of uni because my dad was dying, my son had suspected juvinile arthiritis and I was under tremendous pressure. Im still paying catch up with my bills, but I am comming out the other side side now and finacially I am getting back on my feet.

It very sad that some Bailiffs/debt collectors still think that they have the right to bully people, every time they try to make you agree to pay more than you can afford and then come down heavy when you cant repay the ammount that you have agreed. Yes they would rather you and your children went without basic things such as food and heating than pay a lesser ammont that you can afford.

Sorry Kathy for ranting on your thread, that is really bad what happened to your MIL but Upsyone's comment was pathetic.

Lizzylou · 22/11/2009 12:03

Upsy, I think that a lot of people are getting into financial difficulties at the moment, not just the lower rungs of society .

No human being deserves to be treated in such a way (Laurie, that was appalling) however some people may "grade" their existence.

skihorse · 22/11/2009 12:06

Unfortunately the "lower rungs of society" who owe money won't give a flying fuck about some ape on the phone calling them a cunt. It'll be people like "us" who get palpitations and give money just to make it go away.

It's so easy for circumstances to change in an instant and everything go wrong.

bumpsoon · 22/11/2009 12:11

I once had a bailiff turn up when i lived in a homeless hostel ,i invited him in because it was a cold and wet december day ,he wasnt actually looking for me ,but the previous tennant ,but i remember the look on his face when he saw how little i had ,he even commented on the fact that the tv was broken ,well since an electrical storm the picture was green ! but you got used to it after a few minutes . I have to say he was very nice and totally professional ,even reccommneded somewhere i might be able to get a free old tv ! I guess its like any area though isnt it ,you will get good and bad . I would complain to the company who spoke to your MIL .

bumpsoon · 22/11/2009 12:14

I was actually in debt at the time ,but i had organised a payment plan with everyone i owed money to and kept to it . I went from working fulltime to nothing in the space of about 2 months ,and believe me when you live in a hostel ,you really are seen as the underclass .

Original poster

Kathyis12feethighandbites · 22/11/2009 12:19

Right I will suggest MIL rings the OFT - sounds like they were doing what ImSoNotTelling suggests.

Thank you for sharing all these experiences.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kathyis12feethighandbites · 22/11/2009 12:23

OMG she has just been saying to me that it made her think through what she would do if they called round - and that she has a family opposite her who are a bit rough but very nice and the dad had said to her that if she ever needed anyone sorting out he would help .
MIL is very very calm and respectable so this is a bit incongruous....not sure she would really do it though....

OP posts:

ImSoNotTelling · 22/11/2009 12:36

kathy at least she was thinking how she would manage if they did come round and thinking she wouldn't give in, rather than feeling terrified and that they could have anything they wanted to go away.

Ther ehave been stories about them marching elderly/disabled/vulnerable people to cashpoints and forcing them to hand over all their money.

It is really scary would be bad enough if it were just happening to people who owed money but that they do it to random vlnerable people just because they can is truly

ImSoNotTelling · 22/11/2009 12:38

Sorry didn't mean to scare you or your MIL please don't tell her that. there has been excellent advice on this thread about who to report them to, what to tell them etc.

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