to think that my FIL shouldn't have pretended to "shoot" my toddler?

[FredFlintstone]

He was playing with DS and pretending to shot him with a ruler, pointing it at him and saying "bang, bang.. I shot you". I am not sure if I want this kind of thing repeated, haven't said anything but am wondering whether to ask DH to keep an eye out and ask his dad to stop if he does similar things again. Or am I BU?

(also don't want to rock the boat with dh at the moment as we're not getting on great, and not sure if he will think I am being over the top! Need some perspective...)

wouldn't bother me at all personally. But if it does bother you, it's probably better if you say something yourself rather than asking your DH to be messenger, especially as he might not feel the same way.

If it happens again, why not say something like "it's probably really over-sensitive of me but I really don't like DS playing shooting games - sorry but do you mind?"

DS and DH have done guns with fingers since he was about 2yo. I hated it but didn't say anything as DS enjoyed the time playing with daddy...

He does it sometimes when we're on the way home from school now (nearly 5yo) and it drives me mad as i hate to think he's 'pretending' he's got a gun... But i just tell him it's very rude to 'shoot' people, he then tends to 'shoot' at anything else he can see- tree's/lamposts/signs etc...

agree with Ruby- it's a boy thing!!

My nephew, a few years ago, ran aorund the Christmas tree with buuny ears on going shoot me Grandpa. Not only a boy thing, DD constantly wants DH to shoot her.

How old is your DS, OP? Mine's 5 now and is always shooting at something with some sort of homemade contraption. It's definitely a totally normal boy thing. My DF always plays army and war with my DS and I've given up worrying - they enjoy it and I'm hopeful DS isn't going to grow up into a gun-toting maniac. Just roll with it!

It's just a game, and it sounds like Grandad and your LO are bonding. It's their 'thing'.

Oh don't be silly.

YABU - i am sure your fil meant no harm. It is true, its a boy thing. He will not grow up to be a murderer

my honest response was to roll my eyes.

don't sweat the small stuff fred.

Why does it 'being a boy thang' make it ok ? YANBU OP - I bloody hate guns/shooting and all that jazz and yes I only have girls but I don't let them role play any games involving shooting/killing/violence. Not because I want them to be delicate little flowers (and they definately are not ) If anyone can convince me that my girls or my nephews (who are not allowed guns/shooting games) will be damaged by a lack of this type of violent stimulation than I may change my mind

Personally, I wouldn't rock the boat. Your DS is going to learn (and enjoy doing!) lots of things you don't approve of once he starts nursery and school. Your FiL clearly meant no harm and as someone who grew up with a grandfather who believed children were "women's work", I think your DS's grandpa sounds lovely. And if it is your issue, as opposed to yours and your husband's issue, I would defintely leave it.

However, it's your call.

Thanks to everyone who said I wasn't BU .. oh, there weren't any.

;)

Thank you for the replies! I will not say anything.

May I just say I think you are overthinking this a little.

Oh no, one!

I'd better go with the majority though.
I won't be encouraging it in my house but if it happens again with FIL I'll leave it.

I havent reached this age yet (DS1 is only 2) but my gut reaction is to just take a deep breath and accept "boys will be boys". It was a ruler not a replica machine gun

Fred - I did I did I did 'jumps up and down'

x posted sassybeast!

Guns were banned in my childhood.

We sought them out obsessively at friends' houses, built them with lego and building blocks, ate our sandwiches into them. Stole toy guns when we could.

But I grew up to be a fairly typical Guardian reader. Just ask Shiney.

I can understand the reasons for trying to ban them, but I doubt you can stop role play.

Belfastbloke - are you really from Belfast ?

And Ruby - 'waves middle finger' - You missed

Yea i agree with most of the posters on here, its just role play. Not keen myself on guns and shooting games but my little lad is 6 months old and no doubt some thoughtful relly will get him a toy gun etc when he gets older .

From Belfast, don't live there now. Don't see how that's relevant, or are you just curious?

If you ban them they do become more attractive, I find. I was very idealistic with ds1 and I fear he may become a gangster as a result.

PS3's are cheap in Belfast

yabu

YABU

You are being completely over the top.

If you don't allow guns, even the children of complete hippies will make guns with sticks, lego, playdoh or anything else that comes to hand.

It's a boy thing, it's What They Do, and all the mummy-freaking-outness in the world will not squash the desire to shoot things with pretend guns.

And grandads know this.