to think that BF beyond 6 months is not exactly hard?

[lowrib]

DISCLAIMER! Let me be very clear - I'm not saying that BF is easy full stop - I know from experience it can be very bloody painful (I got blocked ducts and mastitis - ouch!) and I in no way mean to underplay the considerable achievements of many mums in establishing BF in the who first place in difficult circumstances. Nor am I having a go at people who choose - or have no choice but to use formula.

But ... once BF is established and you, your baby and your body are all used to it, it's hardly hard work to carry on, is it?

I'm asking because I keep coming across people who seem surprised that I'm "still" feeding my DS at 11 months, and either congratulate me - or say as "Are you still feeding him" . The WHO recommends 2 years and we're not even half way there ffs!

The last person actually said "Are you still BF lowrib? You wanna get him off the boob!"

If my DS is hungry, or tired, or needing comfort, I simply put him on my boob and he's happy. How is that in any way harder than faffing around with bottles and making up formula, or worrying about how long it's been out of the fridge or warming up milk when out and about?

I think the subtext behind the "get him off the boob" comment was so that I could have a proper drink. Look, my social life for the last 20 years has revolved around heavy drinking (and I've thoroughly enjoyed it, for the most part), but hello, I'VE HAD A BABY!!! I think it's a pretty bloody sad reason to give up BF - for some boozy nights down the pub. The pub will always be there, but my little one won't be a baby long.

I don't think this is what everyone means though. So what are they on about? Why is it such a big deal? Is it the social stigma? Do people find it easier to move on to bottles because they feel it's what's expected of them? It's a pretty bloody sad indictment of our society if so. Women should be celebrated for BF, don't you think? Not made to feel like bloody social lepers.

Sorry for the long post, feel a bit ranty this morning

Indith, you're confusing me with some other saintly person. I've found it very, very difficult to be the only person who can do bedtime but the positives have always outweighed the negatives. First night out a couple of weeks ago. Did she go to bed? No. She waited up until 11.30pm. Frustrating.

Sleep though, oh sleep is another matter. Your dd sounds A LOT like my dd. The night weaning has helped very slightly indeed and she only wakes a maximum of 3 times. It's utter, utter, utter bliss. Sleep is for the lucky weak.

I've had similar comments to the OP. I'm still feeding DS who is 22 months and haven't found it difficult to carry on.

However, it has been restrictive at times. I haven't been out much in the evenings and only away from him during the night once (I had to leave at 4am to catch and early flight, he woke up as I was leaving and was NOT happy).

The pros far outweigh the cons for me and it's just been easier to carry on. I know if he's ill he'll want to feed and at least then I'm sure he's getting something even if he's refusing all solids. He had a stomach bug recently and pretty much fed constantly all the way through it.

Interestingly, most of my NHS antenatal group did bf (7 out of 8, the one person who didn't was very unwell following the birth and couldn't for that reason) and they all stopped about the 5 month mark having mix fed from about 4 months. I got most of the comments about the 8 month mark and it did dismay me a bit but I learnt to ignore them. Around 11 months however, I had several people say to me that they wished they had carried on and they felt that there was a real air of 'competitive bf' (who could bf the longest) in their circle of friends. I think this was mostly around people they met through NCT courses (which I didn't do), so this might be a factor.

Anyway, a lot of rambling so will stop now!

I think that is it Rhubarb, freedom. Yet I have found the whole experience of that has varied with the children. If I could go back I would kick and scream and ask for PND help after dd but I can't so while I am getting there and have more good days than bad I think that has coloured things and it makes me crave that freedom more. Ds has been on many meals out as a baby and generally slumbered over my lap.

Feeding troubles early on also colour it, I was pretty much housebound to feed dd for a while. I took her on one meal out during that time and of course she screamed and screamed. I couldn't get her to feed and so she screamed more. I didn't do it again and became in the habit of not doing it. Now the thought of taking her out in the evenings scares me. I can certainly understand why people stop.

I don't want to stop, but I do want to reach that point where she will feed if I am there but be fine when I am not. Happily we seem to be there during the day which is great. If I am there she feeds about 4 times a day but she couldn't have been less bothered when I left her

Just 3 times? That sounds amazing. Sometimes dd does 3 hours in a row but it triggers some sort of switch that makes ds wake up. You must be a saint, I don't think I can do another year or more of this.

I agree, now I wish I could go back and bf for longer. But when you're feeling down and tied to the baby, all you long for is freedom.

I found it a real struggle with both of mine. The pain for the first 3 months was unbearable and I had everyone telling me that I was doing it wrong or that I was being soft - this after I had a homebirth with ds! They wouldn't just admit that for some women, it can be very painful. If more people were honest about that, more women would breastfeed, but they get put off because they think they are doing it wrong.

Once the pain subsided I still had huge problems with sore and leaking boobs. I stuck it out longer with ds, finally stopping bf at 8 months because he was getting fatter and fatter and I was getting thinner and thinner and unable to fight off infections. He went straight onto cows milk and I was never so relieved to finally be able to go out shopping or for a night out without constantly checking for dark patches or recoiling in agony if anyone brushed past my boobs.

Just wanted to add that I'm still bf because it works best for me and DS and not to be 'competitive'. My comments re: 'competitive bf' are just a repeat of what was said to me and in no way implies that anyone should continue to bf for any other reason than that they want to.

I work 3 days and feed DS morning and evening and more often if we're together during the day. I didn't return to work until he was 15 months, which did help a great deal as it gave me some time to get him started on cows milk. If I'd had to return to work sooner, I would have tried expressing but who knows if that would have worked out.

You just have to do what you have to do. All my friend's toddlers are as happy, healthy and well adjusted as eachother, ff or bf. You can only do what's best for you at the time.

Have not stopped drinking during breastfeeding, although did when pg (been pg or bfing for past 4.5 years)
I work FT (mostly from home) and express or pop into nursery to feed ds. he is 1 soon so will probably then get nursery to do cows milk in day and I will feed am and pm. (Supply does adjust - I even went away for a few days when dd was 2 and just carried on when I got back)
I did find it easier after 6m as the demand tends to drop when solids start and you can go longer between feeds.

Everyone is different. Well done to the original poster for continuing breastfeeding but its not that easy for everyone.

I intended to bf my dd for at least 6 months and hoped to do so for longer but I gave up at 23 weeks because it was making me physically and mentally ill. I was sufferering from PTSD from the birth and (undiagnosed for 15months)PND and I truly believe the hormones and the feeling of being tied to my dd night and day were massive contrbuting factors to my PND. I also lost such a lot of weight during bf that I looked and felt terrible. I agree with Rhubarb about the freedom issue. I don't think its fair to say that everyone gives up to have a drink!!

There are lots of reasons why people don't continue bf past 6 months but for most it is not an easy decision to stop

I chose to stop BF both of mine around the 6month mark. I was due to be going back to work soon and to be totally honest -
I just wanted my body back!
I wanted to be able to diet drastically.
To eat spicy foods without upsetting LO's stomachs.
I wanted to be able to go and see a friend overnight without the guilt of leaving a baby who was used to being able to roll over and latch on.
After 6 months, both times around I was tired of feeling like a milk machine, of having to sleep on a towel to catch the leakage at night when they randomly decided to oversleep...

If you want to BF until they are 1,2,3,4 or older - go for it. But just because "it's hardly hard work to carry on" doesn't mean everyone else wants to...

I fed my last child until she was 2.5 yrs and shall be feeding the next one until 6 weeks.
I resented every moment of the last year, it was very hard on her to stop and very distressing for both of us to wean her off.
I was totally exhausted and run down all the time and my other children never got a look in as I was all cuddled out with the baby, couldn't bear for anyone else to maul me after she'd finished.
I understand the importance of getting to 6 months but beyond that I feel you aren't doing anyone any favours, but that's just me having been there and got the T-shirt.

Op i agree but i think as women we need to support eachother more that way it will become the norm to bf for longer... Women having to express im toilet cubicles when they go back to work is unacceptable no wonder they stop,that is degrading&shouldnt happen.Bf can be so very hard in the early wks but i agree that is usually the hardest bit over,most babies will bite a bit but it can be stopped&you can wear breastpads to avoid havin to keep lookin down incase of leaky patches when ya go out... I found expressing very difficult (had to go to hosp once&pumped&froze heap loads for ds1, which he refused anyway...) But i think there are other options if you really want to continue bfing, it really is up to the individual,each to their own... I fed ds1 until 15months only stopping cause i was preg wit ds2&family put alot of pressure on me to stop as it is supposed to be bad for baby as the milk will be less nutritious plenty of u manage no prob so wish id continued longer now...still bf ds2 19months

On a slightly different note I found it rather depressing that already at the 8 week check up the GP congratulated me that I was still breastfeeding and said "Lots of people give up." I think that shows how little support mothers get, particularly in hospital.

DS only 12 weeks, I love bf him, but really really miss having a drink in the evening! Maybe when his feeds space out a bit...

Well, on the one hand I totally agree that it must be frustrating for people to make ignorant comments to you regarding how you feed your baby.

But, I did find breastfeeding hard - not just the first few weeks, all of it. I chose to stop at 6 months because that was the target I was aiming for when I was struggling and struggling with it.

I think you should count yourself lucky that you didn't find it hard. And maybe try to have a bit more understanding for other people as well.

Oh I do have a drink or two but there's having a drink and there's Having a drink, you know. I need want to get plastered.

Good to hear it Annie, you must be so excited

I agree that the first bit is the hardest and it gets "easier".
But I never really enjoyed it and couldn't wait to give up (got to about 4/5 months with both - went back to work when dd1 was 5 months but just decided had had enough with dd2).
Haven't had a chance to read all posts. You are totally entitled to your own opinion but your thread title does come across as a little smug.

I agree with what the op is saying that past 6 months bf is easier than pre six months for one thing baby now knows how to latch has a bigger mouth so doesn't make the nipple as sore and feeds less.

I bf ds till he was 2 1/2 and am currently bf dd 4mths. Most problems with bf tend to pop up in the first six mths and if you are lucky and manage to struggle through the six mths it gets alot easier as barring biting when teeth come in you are not as likely to get any phisical problem e.g mastitus.

I mean can you imagine trying to express feed if you had to go back to work a month after giving birth I imagine there are v few women who would be able to bf then. So although there are many reasons why people may choose to stop I think what the op was wondering is why she is getting credit for bf this long when really the most physical and emotionally trying times are the first six mths.

Are there any stats on compring how many woman bf at 6 mths and how many at 12 mths?

Of course technically BF after 6 mths is not hard however it does interfere with going back to work/ttc/social life; isn't much fun if you are pregnant; babies often self wean post point; supply can dwindle if you get back into a routine of exercise et etc.

I don't think people give up post 6mths because bottles are easier or any social stigma I think sometimes RL just gets in the way.

Had to go back to work when DD was 12 weeks. Try expressing in a place where your colleagues could burst in at any minute and tell me how easy you find that.

tinkerbelle
I could only find stats up to 6months maybe someone else can find more

it can be a huge drag

HAHA. Too hard?

I've just spent 2 hours breastfeeding to sleep an alligator, aka my 13 month old daughter.

It's the only thing I find annoying, draining and irritating and frustrating. The increasing length of time I'm lying on my bed breastfeeding to sleep.

I found 0 - 6 months quite difficult (especially the first 3). After 6 months I started to enjoy it and still feed DS twice a day now he is 14 months (and I returned to work at 12 months). I think it would have been more difficult had I had to go back to work earlier.

I found the op somewhat smug. Especially from someone who hasn't any experience of trying to continue bf after returning to work!
I found both times that once my babies were weaned, and I had gone back to work, morning and evening feeding just wasn't anything like enough to keep my supply going. Expressing didn't work either (plus, I was actually supposed to be WORKING at work, not spending hours extracting milk from myself...). So once back at work it naturally came to an end pretty quickly.
Not really a problem. But the OP seriously needs to understand that not everyone can bf indefinitely, whether or not they want to...