To hide upstairs and have a weep

[FabIsLosingThePlot]

while ds2 is watching the clangers?

Hi monkey

I am in the SE.

You will fight the same battles. But each time you fight them you'll find new ways to win. You'll get to a place where you know how to beat it. You will.

And I know how hopeless that can sound. How far away, but you're closer than you think.

You can do it. You can.

And if you don't believe it, then I will just have to for you.

And I do.

I don't know what to say.

Thank you.

I do feel very silly for crying but I feel stronger now than I did a few hours ago.

Crying isn't silly. It's an expression of a feeling. Expressing feelings is important.

You'll be ok, but you need to believe it.

Crying can make you stronger. It really can.

Start to think of it like that. Each time you cry you are getting rid of the negativity, letting it out, and you are saying "I can move on from this. I can be stronger."

Last week you posted on my thread. It may have seemed like you didn't help. But you reminded me that I had done all I could to help. That doesn't mean I should stop trying, but it does mean I need to stop blaming (disclaimer - if that wasn't you then please ignore )

Fab there is NOTHING wrong with a good cry. I have lost count how many times I have done it in the last 5 months (though v. ashamed of the time I lost it in public infront of the kids and DS1 still asks about it now)

I'm in the SE, so if you ever did want a coffee/chat let us know. I know I'm not around here much and am a fairly newbie compared to most - but I have used various parenting messageboards for years and if it werent for the support from the people I met through them I would never have got through the last year.

I can't remember much atm so don't know if it was me.

Ooh, I hate the lack of memory bit. It's tough not being sure of yourself.

If you need to, print out these words (to help remember)

You can do it (because a random person over the internet-ether believes in you)

You will do it (because you love your children and your DH)

You are strong enough (because you've lived through moments that seemed unliveable already)

You won't give up (because you're too strong to stop now and you never did before)

Remember who you want to be, and you will be that person. Work to be that person. And define that person not in terms of "good" or "better" but in terms of "looks after her DCs" or "makes Flapjacks even when she feels rubbish".

DH has just invited me to share a bath with him

is the only time we get to sit and chat it feels sometimes

Have a lovely bath

Can i suggest "depressive illness: the curse of the strong" www.amazon.co.uk/Depressive-illness-curse-strong-Tim-Cantopher/dp/0859699749/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=bo oks&qid=1258406157&sr=1-1 It is the only book I've ever read (and I've read LOTS) which recommends reading chapter 2 first because you probably aren't strong enough to read it normal fashion. It is brilliant. And you can get it for about £5 and it's only about 120 pages.

How funny, Eeek. I heard about this book in an old magazine I was reading and I ordered it yesterday. It has been sent out so should be with me soon. Thank you.

I think I missed one or two tablets last week as I couldn't remember if I had taken them and have been told to not take another one in that case and it has happened before when I miss a tablet.