To not care that I've lost my Mojo

[FleeBee]

Two good friends from pre-DC life have invited me out for a Saturday night out, dinner, drinks, dancing, cocktails etc etc. In my old life this was a regular night and we'd stay at my friends v. swanky single city girl flat then stagger to a little bistro for hangover brunch the next morning and have a really brilliant time.

I initially refused as didn't feel I could leave DH and kids for the night so we've changed the plan to my home city and then I get taxi home.

HOWEVER,

The very thought is filling me with dread
-I'm too old to be out on a Saturday
-Have nothing that my post-pregancy body will fit into (2 DC in 2 years yikes!)
-Haven't had my hair cut and coloured since February
-I don't drink anymore so one glass of wine will send me under the table
-I can't really afford it as now SAHM and 2 friends both have v.v. good full time jobs
-I'm more comfortable on the sofa in my pyjamas on a Saturday night watching dancing, I've no confidence to be out with all the bright young things
-It's going to be cold and raining and getting the train there and taxi home and I now only own a mum-fleece and woolly hat!!
-I've no shoes!!!

My friends have been so sweet to really make the effort to invite me and accommodate the arrangements for me, but I feel like making a feeble excuse and not going.

Should I stay in or should I go?? Any thoughts please???

Go! You will have a fab time.

force yourself to go out -once you are there you will enjoy it!
As you are getting a taxi home you can always leave before they go clubbing?
If you refuse now, they might not invite you next time which would be a shame!

is it next saturday?

Um yes, so it's a bit late to make excuses but I'm slightly terrifed by the whole thing. Sooo sad.

no,i'd be terrified too.

can you put your hair up if no time/money for hairdresser?

what do you have in wardrobe?

plain black trousers? nice top? any money for a cheapish pair of heels?

Right, can you afford any new clothes? You must have something. Even the frumpiest of jeans can be dressed up with a nice top. And how have you not got shoes? You must have had some before.

Can you borrow a nice coat from someone for the night?

You must go, your friends have changed all their arrangements for you.

I can totally understand your nerves, but you need to do this.

Can totally relate to your post... Am always moaning that I've only been out three times since DD born (she's 2.2 now) but, really, just making excuses as can't be arsed. BUT every time (all three of them) that I've made the effort I've had a great time and even if I do go home a bit earlier than everyone else and a lot earlier than I used to, I've still had a great time. I'm sure your friends really want to see you and spend some time when you can talk and laugh together. Would you be able to get your hair done? Know it's hard when no money (used to be loaded and now am not!) so sorry if that's insensitive. Just that "new hair" can make all the difference.

You will have a great time and come home wondering why you don't do that sort of thing more often!

Totally agree about the new hair...

I've got an OK pair of (Next) silver-grey jeans that I can fit into look better than that sounds!!.
Will look at my tops again.

Struggling about a coat.

Not worn heels in years and worried about the walking. Can you get away with boots on a night out these days??? Got some long brown suedey type ones - does that sound horrible???

The boots sound fantastic!

Do go! The self consiousness will go once you are there. I bet you and your wardrobe look far better than you are imagining. I bet you deserve a break and your friends sound lovely so it would be a shame not to spend time with them!

oh go you poof

lol jedward

You must, you must. Just think of it like this...you only live once and you've got the rest of your days to snuggle up on the couch watching dancing. Try not to worry about it too much and the whole night will simply fall into place, enjoy talking and laughing with your old friends, it's so good to get a different perspective on life.

Are your boots flat or with a heel? Heels look good with jeans. New Look have affordable glam shoes.

Can one of your good friends lend you a decent coat? Are they good enough friends to ask? Jeans and boots sound lovely, you can def wear boots on a night out.

Ooh, or what about a nice pashmina? there are some massive ones for about £5 at my local market, I'm sure they're everywhere at the minute. It will keep you warm and you'll look uber-glam!

MMmmmm pashmina... I do have one that gives me an idea...

Feel a bit guilty at the money on a night out especially at this time of the year. Will have beans on toast for next 10 years.

I am being a bit of a big old poof. Rewind a few years ago this would be the highlight of my month not something to fear!!! I'm soo old and dull!!!!!!!!

ahhh go, come back giddy, instigate disgusting promises of illicit acts with dh before passing out drunk -- beans on toast for ages will also make you drop a dress size
nb dh will encourage you to go even more !

Beg or borrow clothes from friends. If no coat forthcoming then freeze or wear a secret thermal vest. Do a home dye job on your hair. Can you stretch to a good cut? Do salons need models? If not, you'll have to bodge it and just go as is. Bollocks to post-pregnancy body - I bet you are your harshest judge.

It's way too easy to stay at home but sometimes you need to force yourself to go out. You may feel self-conscious for a while but you'll have fun and it will remind you of that bit of yourself that doesn't get much air time. You no longer have the cash, the time or the bod that you used to but you do have a family and the battle scars to prove it. Go out, have a blast and be your fantastic self.

YABVVVVVVVU
you owe it to yourself to find your mojo. You are not just a mummy [stern]
Yes, boots will be fine. I never wear heels for dancing. Get some slap on you, curl/straighten your hair, have fun looking nice and go out and forget your troubles for a night! It's good for the soul.

GO! Get hair cut. Lovely they're being so accommodating, they obviously want to see you. I reckon you'll have a fab time!

Get your hair cut, full stop. Many a lost mojo has been found at the hairdresser's.