Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to get upset about a friends comment about DD's weight?

51 replies

MillyMaisMummy · 14/11/2009 00:02

It's prob just me being over sensitive, but my little girl was born 2 weeks early and weighed 8lb 2 1/2 oz's which to me is a good weight.She's 7 weeks on Monday and now only weighs 8lb 10oz's.She's had a bad cold which has put her off her food a bit but she's on 5oz's but tends top leave 1 or 2 oz's. Anyway when a friend had asked me what DD weighed i told her and her comment upset me which was "Is that it?Are you actually feeding her at all?My DD weighs 9lb 2oz's...." Thats all well and good but her little one weighed 8lb 14oz's at birth and is 5 weeks old but maybe because she is a bigger baby at birth shes put on weight well. The health visitor told me DD is fine but i am now really worried because of that comment. I feed her every 4 hours but she wont alwasy eat 5ozs as ive said.Please can some one give me advise???

OP posts:

NoseyNooNoo · 14/11/2009 00:06

Stop worrying. Your friend is being an insensitive competitive mum.

I'm not sure if this is your first baby or not but if so you'll discover that other mums, even your 'friends' will compete on any baby-related topic.

Ignore her and listen to your HV.

Monty100 · 14/11/2009 00:10

She's a cow.

Carry on.

shockers · 14/11/2009 00:11

Yor friend is insensitive and is not remembering how anxious a new mum feels. Don't let other mums get you stressed with their comments about how well 'Freddy' is doing in comparison to your baby. Babies progress at their own pace and if there was really cause for concern, you would have been told at baby clinic.
Relax and enjoy your baby

displayuntilbestbefore · 14/11/2009 00:11

Ignore her. Competitive parents like that will be outdoing you on every developmental stage so you might as well get used to gritting your teeth now!
HV would tell you if there's a problem.

displayuntilbestbefore · 14/11/2009 00:12

and congratulations!

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2009 00:13

your dd sounds perfectly normal and healthy

most babies lose a little weight (think about 10%) after birth so your dd prob went down 8oz or so

your dd has put on 7.5ozs and friends baby 4oz's - so tell that to your friend and tell her to stick it where the sun dont shine!!

Monty100 · 14/11/2009 00:14

Yes, congratulations, and well done.

lilacclaire · 14/11/2009 00:17

Perfectly normal, don't babies drop weight a little after their born.
Sounds a very good weight, especially after being early.
Your 'friend' is being a bitch and trying to undermine you when you are already emotionally vulnerable.
Tell her to fooookey offy.

MollieO · 14/11/2009 00:18

Ignore her. It isn't a race.

Ds was born early and was tiny for a long time. He still looked like a newborn when he was 4 months old. People would stop me and coo over him and ask his age. When I told him they would look horrified and ask what was 'wrong' with him. I had to learn to ignore them as I'd never have left the house otherwise. It was hard though so you have my sympathy.

This is the first of many competitive issues you will face. Feeding is a classic one but then there will be sleeping through the night, crawling, weaning, walking, being out of nappies. The list is endless so you will need to toughen up.

At your baby's age my ds weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz. He is now a strapping 5 yr old and one of the tallest in his class.

lilacclaire · 14/11/2009 00:22

True Mollie O, this is just the start.
My ds was the slowest at everything from talking to walking, it really doesnt matter, they all get there in the end.
I've never pushed anything and am suprised at how much emphasis other parents put on being the best or first, totally ridiculous.
I feel sorry for the kids who don't live up to these expectations.

twinmumdandc · 14/11/2009 00:35

Congratulations and enjoy your time with your lovely healthy baby!

Ask your friend how much weight she has put on in the last 2 weeks and see if she if offended!

Original poster

MillyMaisMummy · 14/11/2009 00:42

You lovely wonderful ladies have made me feel so much better and i thank you from the bottom of my heart.After sitting and think , my "mate" has now 5 kids and DD is my 1st and you are all right...it does seem likes shes trying to undermine me. I will learn to enjoy DD more and try not to panic, however it is so hard. Thank you all once again i 100% appreciate it!

OP posts:

pigletmania · 14/11/2009 00:45

Tell her to feck off! She is your friend your dd sounds very healthy, you cannot force milk to the baby if they dont want it. My dd was like yours very light, did not drink much milk but now a happy and healthy 2.8 year old. Ignore the old bat!

bumpsoon · 14/11/2009 09:33

Better still ask her how much weight she has lost since having her baby and then when she tells you say 'is that all' ,and then lie and double the amount and say that is what you have lost

Original poster

MillyMaisMummy · 14/11/2009 09:49

Bumpsoon- after following your advice, when she rang i asked her and said "Omg IS THAT ALL?" and she said "Well that's uncalled for is'nt it?" to which i replied "So was the comment about DD's weight!"

OP posts:

IsItMeOr · 14/11/2009 10:05

Lol, good for you MillyMaisMummy. Now try and forget about it, as you will need all the friendly support you can get, and hopefully she will have got the message now. She's probably jealous at how well you are doing with your first while she is still struggling with number 5. (We all struggle, btw!).

You can always come on MNet if you need reassuring about daft things other people in RL have told you. I've found it's good for that!

angel1976 · 14/11/2009 10:42

Well done MillyMaisMummy! YANBU at all! I feel for you. It's not easy being a first-time mum. DS1 was only 6lbs 14.5ozs when he was born and I struggled with BF-ing and then he went onto formula but never really drank that much (hardly ever finished 5oz EVER!). I worried about him all the way and used to cry if he threw up a whole feed that I just spent an hour coaxing into him! He's now 21 months and weigh a very healthy 28lbs! I now have DS2 and he is so tiny compared to DS1. They all grow at their own rate, as long as you are doing your best for them, you are doing very well...

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2009 12:02

good for you saying that to your friend!!!

4kidsandlovingit · 14/11/2009 14:43

I cant believe your friend has 5 kids and still hasn`t learnt that all children grow at different rates.
Your DD was a good weight when she was born and despite being poorly has still been putting on weight. There is nothing wrong with her.

I had twins DD was born at 8lb7oz and DS at 8lb. Within weeks he weighed more than she did but both fed well and both are happy lively 5 year olds. He is still taller that she is and still weighs more. There is nothing wrong with either of my kids.

Tell your "friend" to go get a life!!!

Heated · 14/11/2009 14:53

I'm afraid I disagree. Commenting on your friend's lack of weight loss post pg in a tit-fot-tat way was an unpleasant put down. Your friend was tactless, but not unpleasant, when commenting on your baby's slow weight gain.

Original poster

MillyMaisMummy · 14/11/2009 15:05

to be honest i dont care if it was tit-for-tat it made me feel better seeming she really upset me. And no before you say it Heated, i am not a horrible person i am a human being, and god forgive me if i used it as an unpleasent put down and nor am i imature (usually) but she pissed me off

OP posts:

NoseyNooNoo · 14/11/2009 15:55

Good for you!

Lulumama · 14/11/2009 15:59

i agree with heated, you were hurt by something she said, so you deliberately hurt her feelings back

that's nice and mature

are you feeding your baby on demand? you say in your OP she feeds every 4 hours, which does not sound a lot for a 6 week old

some babies are just smaller and your DD is probably one of them..2 weeks early, i presume you mean 38 weeks, is considered full term

dorisbonkers · 14/11/2009 16:01

Hahaha

Mine only weighed 5lbs at birth (a month early) and a pregnant acquaintance drew breath and asked 'what's wrong with her....'

It did my head in for months and months. Still stuck to exclusive breastfeeding but I was supersensitive to comments about her weight.

florence2511 · 14/11/2009 16:15

Don't let these sort of comments hurt you as all babies grow at different rates. Mine was small at birth (5lb 9oz)and became a chubster in no times, but I know others that have stayed small. All babies are different.

Mine also fed every 4 hours (from a week old). She wasn't a hungry baby and didn't demand it so just stuck to the routine I was put on at the hospital (she was tube fed in special care after loosing a lot of weight bcause we both didn't get the hang of BF).

As I said all babies are different. Some need feeding every hour, some every four hours. Go with what is right for you and your baby. Don't let people tell you that you are doing it wrong. It all sounds fine to me.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread