to get upset about a friends comment about DD's weight?

[MillyMaisMummy]

It's prob just me being over sensitive, but my little girl was born 2 weeks early and weighed 8lb 2 1/2 oz's which to me is a good weight.She's 7 weeks on Monday and now only weighs 8lb 10oz's.She's had a bad cold which has put her off her food a bit but she's on 5oz's but tends top leave 1 or 2 oz's. Anyway when a friend had asked me what DD weighed i told her and her comment upset me which was "Is that it?Are you actually feeding her at all?My DD weighs 9lb 2oz's...." Thats all well and good but her little one weighed 8lb 14oz's at birth and is 5 weeks old but maybe because she is a bigger baby at birth shes put on weight well. The health visitor told me DD is fine but i am now really worried because of that comment. I feed her every 4 hours but she wont alwasy eat 5ozs as ive said.Please can some one give me advise???

DD is fed on demand and she wakes on the dot every 4 hours for a feed. I have been 4 hours is a lot for a 6 week old to have a feed.Now am really confused if you dont thuink so Lulumama

crikey, who told you 4 hours is a lot for a 6 week old?

obviously she is doing fine on it, but it would not be unusual for a baby of that age to feed every 2 or 3 hours, so 4 hours is certinly not too frequent

A senior hospital consultant in pedatritional research (with 35 years experience) told me 4 hours in fine

well, far be it from me to dispute a professional, but IME , a baby can feed a lot more frequently, and most should feed more frequently

if your baby is gaining, albeit not massively, weeing/ pooing and is settled between feeds then she's probably ok

i don't know many adults who can go 4 hours without at least a drink, so i don't know why we expect babies who have so much growing to do, to do that

Lulumama - as I said before my DD fed every 4 hours from a week old and she was/is fine and is now a healthy 3 year old. Only occasionally did she cry for food within the 4 hours, and that was usually 3.5 hours.

All babies are different.

op - if your baby is fine on 4 hourly feeds - gaining weight (which she is, albeit slowly - not a problem), poohing, weeing and not listless then she is fine.

Several people told me to feed my DD more frequently, but what do they know about MY DD, only about what worked for them and their off spring. All babies are different and need different needs.

Princesstoadstool - yours is advice too right (advice through experience)? Doesn't necessary mean that the op has to take it. Yeah?

"All babies are different and need different needs"

Yes, but within reason I think. It's an easy thing to spout "I know my baby best", but a mother may not necessarily know best about infant feeding. That's why we have paediatricians and HVs and breastfeeding experts.

Every four hours may be fine, but is 'a bit' infrequent and I can't see what harm there is in feeding more frequently if you're worried. I breastfeed my 13 month old more frequently than every four hours.

I was breastfed 4 hourly in the 70s, but that was then and I think it's rare for breastfeeding experts to advise it these days?

Sorry, I shouldn't have said 'spout'. I wasn't having a dig

i agree with you florence ! and if you read my post again, i said pretty much the same as you in the second paragraph

babies are different, that is certainly true, but most weeks old babies will feed more frequently than 4 hourly, not to say that it is not ok for your DD and the OPs

i was not saying the OP should try to force feed her baby or was berating her, just commenting, as other people will be reading this, that 4 hourly feeds for a weeks old baby is not to be expected as the norm for everyone

I'd tell her it was a shame her baby was obviously going to be fat.

Seriously though, what business is it of hers ? Are you BFing and she's FFing cos this could well account for it as FF babies put on weight quicker

i remember the feeling, it's very hard in these early early stages to know how to feel about all the advice, all the 'supposeds' the 'growth charts'. God it's enough to do without worrying about other's comments.

Just leave it, and carry on with looking after your lovely new baby!!

Fibilou there are about three references to the number of ounces the baby is having in the OP...so I would imagine she is FF

OP - ignore her. If you baby is happy settled and the HVs etc are happy with her - that's all that matters. Enjoy her.

I ff and my son naturally fell into the 4 hourly routine very easily - honestly we are so hard on one another at times over food. OP if she isnt crying for food, is healthy and your health visitor has no concerns your friend is being a cow bag and you should just ignore her!!!!! If she was hungrier she would eat more it is that simple. If she overfeeds you will only end up wearing it. THe only thing to look out for is colic. My neice was extremely colicky at this stage and didnt gain weight but its fairly obvius when you have a colicky little one. They howl. A lot.

Four hours does seem a long time at 7 weeks between feeds, but if she feeds well and is not too sleepy then she's probably getting enough. The paediatricians told us to feed every 3/4 hours which I think was wrong for us because he was born a month early at 4lbs, was VERY sleepy and didn't feed well at all. Their thinking was that if he was really hungry then he would take a good feed. It didn't work like that though and he had no energy to feed properly and didn't wake for feeds very often by himself. so little and often was better for him. I would take advice from a breast feeding expert, rather than the paediatricians.

I don't think the OP was looking for advice on feeding in any case. She was upset at her friend's competitive digs, not seeing if she was right!

Huge apologies milly for getting you into so much trouble ,im afraid that as a parent of did you say 5 children ,your so called friend was in my opinion well and truly out of order with her comments ,esepcially as your DD is a very good weight ,my dd was less than 7llbs when born and i breast fed her ALL the time and she gained weight slowly but was as wick as they come ,held her head up from practically day one etc and is now tall for her age . If this person is a real friend and you wish to keep her that way ,i suggest you tell her how upset you were by her thoughtless comments (and to be fair saying thoughtless is charitable) and some total bitch on a parenting forum led you astray in a moment of weakmess

If it helps, DD was 8lb5oz at birth, my friend's DD was 8lb11oz at birth. Her DD lost quite a bit and gained weight very slowly while DD loaded the ounces on. Both babies are now nearly 12 months old and both have been perfectly healthy. Each baby puts on weight at different rates and it isn't a competition. Don't let your friend make your babies compete, it's a pointless waste of time.
Also, I know you weren't asking about feeding times but DD fed every 1.5hrs, she didn't go 4 hrs til she was about 16wks.

My nine-week-old son was three weeks early and slow to gain; he was one of the smallest in his NCT group at the reunion even though he was the oldest by ten days. But no one said anything, as they knew I'd been struggling with it. I cried every day for the first seven weeks because I was worried about him, and the stupid comments/eyerolls from strangers in the supermarket and even friends. People don't realise what a loaded issue it is. But I've just had to decide to ignore it and let him gain weight and grow in his own time. He'll get there in the end and so will your little one.

OP - my DS1 was born at full term and weighed 6lb 1oz. He was a small baby, an avg toddler and avg height at primary.
He is now 16, 6ft+ and still growing!
Just enjoy your beautiful daughter, and congratulations.

Ignore ignore ignore! My son got sick at the stat of his life. Born on 50th centile and went down under 25th centile within a few weeks. When he finall started getting better and putting on weight and going back up (he is now on 91st centile!! He is also 98th centile for height so in proportion!) my friend said 'oh he finally looks healthy - he was so dangerously thin before' . Whilst he was thin, he was never 'dangerously' so but it still made me feel rotten. You just have to ignore and move on. Am sure you are doing great.

PS on feeding times i don't think my DS did 4 hours until around 12-14 weeks. Heck, i don't even go 4 hours without some form of drink or food, so for a baby it is quite a long break between feeds. If she doesn't cry out for it i am sure she is fine however. Every baby is different. Hope all goes well.

And don't think you escape comments if your baby's a chubster - DD was always around the 50th centile and my grandad told me off for letting her get too fat There's always someone going to comment!