Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed that best friend has chosen same names as DS for her new baby?

58 replies

DipsyLaLa · 13/11/2009 17:26

Hello Everyone
I'm new here. I need some objective advice. Best friend has just had a baby and while I am over the moon for her I am somewhat cross that she has decided to name her baby exactly the same two first names as my DS. I might add that she is also godmother to him.

I know she is free to name her baby whatever she likes and I'm not asking her to change it. But isn't this just bad form?

OP posts:
blithedance · 13/11/2009 20:33

Yes if it's any combination of the top 10 (1 JACK
2 OLIVER
3 THOMAS
4 HARRY
5 JOSHUA
6 ALFIE
7 CHARLIE
8 DANIEL
9 JAMES
10 WILLIAM)

Then really you both should have been a bit more imaginative. But names are for life, not just for pre-school.

How would you feel if she'd had her baby first and "pinched" your chosen names? You just have to go with the flow, if you choose a commonly used name you will get repeats.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 13/11/2009 20:35

Don't know. Have a

KimiTheThreadSlayer · 13/11/2009 20:39

How many of these threads are there going to be,
NO ONE OWNS A NAME it may be odd, slightly annoying but it is not the worlds end.

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/11/2009 21:04

YANBU
True, no-one owns a name but if she's your bf and your children are likely to spend a lot ot time together, it's very odd to have chosen exactly the same names! My SIL had a girls' name in mind when she was pregnant and had discussed it with her friend who was also pregnant but her friend gave birth first and gave her dd the exact name my SIL had been considering. Ok, she thought, a bit annoying but she had her baby first so that's fair enough - but she didn't then call her dd the same names anyway as she recognised that as they would be spending loads of time together it would be silly if both girls had the same name so she simply chose an alternative name. TBH it's a bit odd that your bf didn't do the same - I certainly would rethink if my bf chose exactly the names I'd been considering. Choosing one of them as a middle name could be seen as a compliment, choosing both in the same order is strange!

NormaSknockers · 13/11/2009 21:12

MaggiePie my little brother is Daniel James - although we call him DJ usually

OP - it's certainly a little odd to use both names & in the same order & I can understand you being a but miffed, as I would be, but not a great deal you can do about it & she does have the right to name her DS anything she likes. Tricky one really!

Georgimama · 13/11/2009 21:19

TBH it doesn't really matter that she has used both names, because they aren't going to be called by both names all the time are they? Unless the child is called something like K-Fed in which case you should both be deeply ashamed.

One of my closest friends named her daughter Georgia and pretty much admitted it was because me calling DS George made her realise she liked that name very much, and would have used it regardless of boy/girl. I was flattered.

Arcadie · 13/11/2009 21:32

YANBU ... it's downright weird to give your kid the EXACT same names as your godson. Weird to choose the EXACT same names as any one of your very close friends has done. Just odd. Well done for telling her. Hope you continue to be very good mates.

scottishmummy · 13/11/2009 21:40

nope.no one has dibs on names.show some composure say nowt.perhaps she has a massive envy issues.however pragmatically nothing you can do

so if you value the friendship,put the name debacle aside

MorrisZapp · 13/11/2009 21:56

If it's a first name and a middle name then who cares - two Davids in one room, what's the big deal.

If it's one of those double names where you shout 'Taylor Michael' across the playground then fair enough, that will sound a bit odd.

largeginandtonic · 13/11/2009 22:05

My best friend did this too but she asked first. I was thrilled!

My 4 year old (name copied) was equally thrilled. We do refer to him as the second but only sweetly so.

gingerbreadlatte · 13/11/2009 22:22

My cousin chose exactly the same combination of sibling names as my sister used for her two oldest kids

The first you can kind of understand but when the second one was born and called the same as my nephew- it was oddd........

No one in our family gets it and we dont mention it. Just as well we dont spend much time with them!

Ronaldinhio · 13/11/2009 22:25

meh

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/11/2009 23:28

seems weird to choose both names the same

i can understand first name being the same, as maybe her and her oh liked that name but didnt say anyhting while pregnant and thought OMG - you called your child that, and they were planning to iyswim

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 13/11/2009 23:41

It does seem a little odd - although flattering in a way - to pick both your son's names. But as has been said, it does depend a little on what the names are: Jack William x 2 is not as weird as Tarquin Horatio x 2.

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/11/2009 23:43

Oi, my ds is Tarquin Horatio

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 13/11/2009 23:50

Nothing wrong with being called Tarquin Horatio. My point (such as it is) is that one can just about believe that two friends might have both decided independently, years ago, that Jack William (or some other combination of frequently-heard names) was the best name ever and would be the name of their son, but if it's something less mainstream then it really does seem to be a case of outright copying. Which (again as others have said) isn't illegal but it is a little strange.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 13/11/2009 23:52

Wink Wink

displayuntilbestbefore · 14/11/2009 00:00

You have a sound point (and I do not in fact have a ds called T H - but for no other reason than we found other names we preferred)
Still think it odd the bf didn't mention it to OP beforehand as it's not unreasonable to be a bit taken aback by a duplicate name.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2009 00:06

my brothers best mate is called tarkquin - is now 39!!

have to say i dont know of a baby tarkquin

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 14/11/2009 00:11

Displayuntil - I didn't really think you did, but there's probably someone on MN who does. I actually rather like the name Tarquin but, anyway, I was only using it to suggest that one might feel more sense of ownership of an uncommon name.

displayuntilbestbefore · 14/11/2009 00:14

MBADToKNow - I realised that but felt I ought to put a disclaimer in case anyone on MN with a ds with that name thought I was being rude about the name!

MadameDefarge · 14/11/2009 00:15

ah well, I am still pissed off that my ex-sil(sort of) named her ds my name for the baby me an then bf had yet to have. and never had! That was 20 years ago!

scottishmummy · 14/11/2009 00:25

oh mooooooooooooove on

MadameDefarge · 14/11/2009 00:29

I have really, honest,SM it just was just a great name...all euphonic and everything...and she would never have thought of it without me cos it was an English name and all...(her being a wenchy French actress)

but so totally over it!

jasper · 14/11/2009 01:13

be flattered