AIBU to think that a 2 YO is not going to be massively traumatised by spending the night in a hotel??

[spicemonster]

I know it's not the done thing to start a thread about a thread but this was a side issue and it was one that I found a bit surprising.

Lots of people on the other thread said that they thought that for a 2 year old to spend the night in a hotel would be very disruptive. AIBU to think this a bit PFB?
How on earth do you go on holiday? Or do you accept that the first 3 or 4 days will be hell with your disrupted toddlers and you only have fun in the last few days?

I await your exocets

Yes I am generally a good egg but also a bit hot-headed and have had a shit day with a whinging unwell toddler who has been driving me mad. So what better way to relieve stress than to have a go at something which ends up hurting someone I don't know?

No excuse for being so stupid and thoughtless

Thank you for being gracious MTW.

AF - have you considered helping out in the Middle East peace process? I think you'd be rather good

it has been said, spicemonster...

spice, can I hijack for a moment? By DUI, do you mean you had donor insemination as a single parent?

Only a friend of mine is doing exactly the same thing at the moment and is really struggling with it. She's worried that she's doing the wrong thing and embarrassed and all that. Only her immediate family and two of her friends know.

If you have any ideas about how I can support her/what would be the right things to say, I'd be really grateful. (Atm am just saying 'of course it's fine, your baby will be loved and wanted which is more than you can say for some children with two parents' etc. etc. etc.)

She's just got back from the first attempt, btw.

Yes that is what I mean edam. It sounds like you're saying all the right things to me. My way of looking at it is that there are no guarantees that if you have a child within a context of a relationship, that the relationship is going to work out and that you will have children who grow up in a stable happy home with two parents. And god knows, there are enough feckless dads out there who walk off. One highly committed parent (and to do DUI you have to be highly committed) is a lot more than a lot of children ever get. You have to plan and think about the actual conception so much that you probably put a lot more thought into being a parent than a lot of people do.

There is an organisation called the Donor Conception Network which has a really big single mother arm - she will find a lot of support for her and her child (when they arrive) there. I want my DS to know lots of other children who have a similar background to him so that he never feels alone.

Don't know if that's any help - am at work so all a bit rushed. I'd also be happy to talk to her if she'd like

Blimey. By the time my DD was 2 she had spent the night in lots of different places - other people's homes as well as hotels. She wasn't even vaguely "disrupted".

Some people are at risk of confusing stability with inertia IMO.

Oh thanks very much spicemonster, that's really helpful. I know some family members are rather critical as is the other friend she's told, so feel it's even more important to support her, IYKWIM. Even if I disapproved (which I don't, although am worried for her) it really doesn't help to give people a hard time IMO.

Will bear DCN in mind - am keeping my fingers crossed atm so would be a little early to mention it. (She flew abroad to have the procedure, as she's not got any time to mess about with the system in this country - texted me to say on the flight out she met a very nice man who asked her what she was doing in X country. She lied...)