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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

im livid at teacher for telling off a 6 yr old kid for not doing her homework..

96 replies

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 17:37

since when did it become compulsory for a yr 1 child to do homework, i always presumed it was optional at this young age. so this last weekend we didn't do it..
she had to write a few sentences about a charity of her choice including a picture..

for the love of god she couldn't understand the concept of a charity,
so at parents eve the other night i said she hasn't done her her this week , thinking the teacher would say thats ok. but no she told me how to do it with her. i was annoyed enough at that, but then she came home from school today to tell me she got told of for not doing it..
im so cross
i really want to mention this tomorrow, AIBU?

OP posts:

LaurieScaryCake · 12/11/2009 18:58

yabu

you were told to do it with her and I suppose you must have indicated you would - if you didn't you should have made your feelings known at the time if you have a strong objection to homework

bit daft to not say anything and give the teacher the impression you were going to do it with her and then not do it with her

tethersend · 12/11/2009 18:58

Feenie, I think we may be in the minority...

I teach secondary, and still think we shouldn't be setting homework- far better to encourage independent study motivated by interest, rather than completing often meaningless tasks because you're scared of getting into trouble.

IMO.

MillyR · 12/11/2009 18:59

I don't think a 6 year old can be held responsible for homework, and the teacher should not tell off a 6 year old for failing to do something which the parent is responsible for.

I don't really agree with homework for small children, but I think you probably need to go back to the teacher and discuss it so that some kind of agreement can be worked out so that there is support between home and school.

islandofsodor · 12/11/2009 19:04

YANBU, I am constantly battling with the dc school about this. All the resear4ch shows that beyond reading and simple spellings there is no educational advantage in homework at primary level and in fact it can in many cases be detrimental. In my ds's case it is actually putting him off learning and he gets very upset about it.

I went as far as going to see the head of the dc's prep school. We are at a sort of truce in that we do it if and when we have time.

Greensleeves · 12/11/2009 19:06

"you were told to do it with her"

LOL at fantastic example of teachers spending so much time ordering smaller people around that they forget that they don't actually have complete power over everybody else as well!

Original poster

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 19:09

i did say a few posts back that i always do the homework with my kids and i see it as important to their education, i am pissed off at her being told of for not doing one piece of homework.

OP posts:

tethersend · 12/11/2009 19:12

Agree islandofsodor, homework often has a detrimental effect on children's relationship with learning, and they never get to experience the pleasure of learning. It's sad, especially at such a young age.

And good point, Greensleeves. Staff meetings are always fun for the very same reason...

cory · 12/11/2009 19:18

imo there is a huge difference between the two ends of primary school

when dcs were in Infants I thought that the homework was pretty pointless

but by the time dd had got to Year 6 she was a totally different person and homework could actually be really interesting; by the time she got to Yr 7, the projects she was doing were excellent and certainly calculated to stimulate independent learning and help her to develop interests she might not otherwise have thought about; at this age, I think it's about the quality of the tasks assigned

ds aged 9 has no difficulty in taking responsibility for his own learning and is getting to the age where it makes sort of sense for him to be doing it

I just don't think you can compare a 5yo with someone who may well have reached puberty

cornsilkwearscorsets · 12/11/2009 19:21

YANBU - forcing children to do homework that they can't understand is totally counterproductive. Homework should be an extension of work set in class. If the child doesn't understand what to do then the teacher shouldn't be getting shirty about it.

WobblyWench · 12/11/2009 19:21

YABU - that homework would have taken what? 20 - 30 minutes? I had homework at that age and my parents didn't give a toss, but I did it. Maybe your DD picked up on your reaction and realised you thought it was unreasonable? Yes you may be pissed of at her being told off for not doing one piece of homework, but you are setting a standard for her future, if you think, sod it, then when it really matters, how will you feel if she says the same?

Lulumama · 12/11/2009 19:21

Don't think there is anything wrong with parents supporting and helping their children with their homework, it might not be compulsory, but if she did not understand the concept of the charity, then it was an ideal opportunitut, especially with rememberance sunday , to talk about it
DD is 4 and in reception and has been learning about poppy day and has vaguely grasped what it is

if you choose to send your child to school, and part of that schooling is homework, then you should support the child and the school in doing that

if she has issues that stop her doing the homework, or struggling, then see her teacher

DS struggles as he is dyslexic, so his teachers have advised various ways to do his work...e,g draw a picture rather than writing, dictating his homework to me, using a computer to type it up

but as his parent, i certainly see my role is to ensure his homework is done and that it is vitally important he does not see his dyslexia as a get out clause

i don't get why you would be livid, when you should have supported your daughter to do her homewrok

Pogleswood · 12/11/2009 19:22

I agree Milly R - at 6 a child shouldn't be told off for something an adult is in control of. (Cue scores of posts from MNers whose 5 year olds rush home with cries of"Mummy,I must do my homework now"...)
But I think if you have objections to homework you should talk to the teacher,not just leave it to fall by the wayside.

Pigletmania,I really,really disagree with this - I expect the school to teach my DCs basic skills in school time.I did not have homework at primary school . I and all my friends are literate and numerate.
And for the record my DCs do their homework,with limits on how long they spend - this attitude of "well it's only 5 or 10 minutes" don't fit all those kids who struggle with maths,writing or both and will take a very long time on work which another child could finish easily. Agree totally with isleofsodor - if you aren't careful it puts them off the whole thing,and for what?

Whoops - rant over...

Lulumama · 12/11/2009 19:22

telling off might have been

'you should have done that homework'

rather than a raised voice and nasty comment

if you had done the work with her, the teacher would not have needed to mention it

cornsilkwearscorsets · 12/11/2009 19:27

Today's kids get loads of homework. Standards have fallen. Homework (in primary school) does not necessarily raise standards. Children would be better off playing out most of the time.

morningpaper · 12/11/2009 19:27

You sound like you were annoyed because you made a mistake

Fair enough but swallow your pride and get on with it

It's a lovely and thoughtful piece of homework and an ideal chance for you to talk about charity - hasn't your DD done anything sponsored? Does she not know why they collect money for poppies? Doesn't she read food cartons? Has she never helped with a school fete? Doesn't she see people collecting on the street and give them money for a sticker? So many lovely chances for you to teach her a little bit about the world - seems like a perfect opportunity.

halfcut · 12/11/2009 19:31

Not entirely sure that a 6 year old struggling and hating doing their homework teaches them anything ..

DiamondHead · 12/11/2009 19:37

YANBU, I don't think.

Sometimes 6 year olds are just too tired and I don't see what you accomplish at that age by having major battles. You just teaching them that writing was a chore.

Perhaps you should have done a note but if you're usually an active parent, who is involved in your child's work then the school's reaction is a bit heavy handed.

Adair · 12/11/2009 19:47

Feenie, Tethersend, I am another (secondary) teacher who doesn't believe in homework. Will be gathering my research and presenting it when dd goes to school .

Think you should possibly have handed in a note, if homework was expected to be completed (as someone else said, it's common courtesy).

Those who think homework is the only way kids can learn at home . I have no problem with optional activities and suggestions of things you can do at home together. Agree with MorningPaper that the Charity task sounded kinda fun though...

oldspeckledtam · 12/11/2009 19:55

Another teacher (primary and secondary) who does not believe in homework. I set it, but I don't chase it.

Original poster

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 19:58

we did the hw about poppies and why she has one.
she enjoys her work at school and at home and i didnt let her know i wasn't happy with the teachers attitude

FFS don't parents have enough to feel guilty about without feeling told off for missing one piece of work?
i work full time including weekends, her dad works away during the week.
1 piece of home work not done does not set my dd up for a lifetime of failure.

OP posts:

BikiniBottom · 12/11/2009 19:59

I am utterly astonished that so many of you think homework is reasonable for children aged 6. If a child has not learnt enough in the incredibly long hours he/she has spent at school then the curriculum asks too much. Young kids are tired, they need quality time with family, down time for themselves, and time to engage in physical activity (of which there is too little in schools). They should not be spending time at home doing schoolwork. And frankly at that age homework equals parent work. My job in educating my children is in our day to day lives where they learn values, i answer their curious questions. Forcing them to do so much homework can damage their natural curiosity and cause family tension when you have to battle with them to get it done.

I think it is utterly pointless and would ban all homework at primary level. And the vast majority of teachers I have spoken to agree but have little choice. What's more it is damn difficult to find quiet time to do homework when you have other little ones around, you have a healthy dinner to prepare which takes time, your own work if you are a working parent and a million other important things in life.

I just can not understand why anyone thinks it is a good idea. Our children should be making up imaginary games, reading books, playing with their siblings, helping to make dinner and I could go on and on.

Really I am gobsmacked by the negative response to the OP.

tethersend · 12/11/2009 20:00

We should start a club

But not a homework club.

morningpaper · 12/11/2009 20:00

I think it is unreasonable to expect a teacher to convey the concept of "charity" to 30 individual children without a little bit of learning re-inforcement from parents!

Lulumama · 12/11/2009 20:08

bikinibottom, my children do all of the things you say, as well as DS having 20 minutes of homework per week ( yr 5) and a reading book, which he enjoys. they also have plenty of playing out time at school, cooking, arts & crafs etc.. lots of interactive stuff , DD is in reception and has a phoneme book and a library book to be read to her

i don't see how in any way that is unreasonable or taking away anything from the quality of their lives

they learn plenty from me and life in general by a process of osmosis and i don't see our lives being ruined by a bit of set work after school, once a week

but that is just my experience and opnion

Original poster

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 20:09

thank you bikinibottom
at last a voice of reason

OP posts:

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