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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

im livid at teacher for telling off a 6 yr old kid for not doing her homework..

96 replies

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 17:37

since when did it become compulsory for a yr 1 child to do homework, i always presumed it was optional at this young age. so this last weekend we didn't do it..
she had to write a few sentences about a charity of her choice including a picture..

for the love of god she couldn't understand the concept of a charity,
so at parents eve the other night i said she hasn't done her her this week , thinking the teacher would say thats ok. but no she told me how to do it with her. i was annoyed enough at that, but then she came home from school today to tell me she got told of for not doing it..
im so cross
i really want to mention this tomorrow, AIBU?

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/11/2009 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:23

You do the homework, then switch off simple! I am not a teacher but a SAHM and want my dd to learn and improve her skills. Life is full of things we dont wan to do but have to. What example are you setting refusing your dc to do their homework

Greensleeves · 12/11/2009 18:25

I agree with the OP, compulsory homework at this age is ridiculous and innecessary

My children are getting plenty of "wider education" about the world without the school directing how we interact during our free time.

And telling off a 6yo for not doing something which is quite clearly the responsibility of the adults around her is just stupid and mean. It's no different from teachers punishing small children for lateness despite the fact that they clearly have no say in what time they arrive at school.

OP, you've simply fallen foul of the MN "teachers can do no wrong" edict. Don't take it to heart, there are plenty of us with a healthier sense of perspective.

flyingdolphin · 12/11/2009 18:25

I don't get this homework - is it for the children or for the parent? Surely if it involves a lot of help from the parents (as a task like this would for most 6yos) then if they are going to tell off anybody they should tell off the parents...
So YANBU.

I wonder about this type of homework for little kids - it is all very educational and a good learning opportunity and all that, but it sort of excludes children whose parents can't help them much (maybe because, for example, they speak a different language at home, which was the situation I was in as a child, my parents wouldn't have been able to help me much with a task like this) or won't help them much (because they don't want to for whatever reason), which seems a bit unfair.

tbh, I find compulsory homework at primary school pretty depressing really.

wheresthehamster · 12/11/2009 18:28

I, too, would check on the actual words used in the 'telling off'.

At parents evening did you tell the teacher you didn't agree with homework? It sounds like she thought you wanted some advice on how to do it.

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:30

No i dont totally side with teacher, had my fair share of very bad school experiences, what with being dyslexic and being labelled as stupid and lazy but think that well thought out homework is a great idea and support my childs school education at home. It is necessary fgs, spelling,maths and grammar etc homework are completely necessary for your child to learn basic skills so that they dont leave school illiterate and inummerate (sp)

Rindercella · 12/11/2009 18:35

YABU. It is your responsibity to support your child in her education. This may well include sitting down with her and helping/encouraging her with her homework.

Oh, and I am not a teacher - not that I think that to be particularly relevant.

LovestheChaos · 12/11/2009 18:38

YABU. It's never to early to teach a child about responsibility.

Feenie · 12/11/2009 18:39

Greensleeves, r.e. "OP, you've simply fallen foul of the MN "teachers can do no wrong" edict" - you have imagined this, I think - AIBU in particular is usually riddled with teacher bashing threads.

kitsmummy · 12/11/2009 18:42

Op, if your dd is the only one not doing homework then she's going to fall behind and will be the only one who can't participate in discussions etc. It's not fair on her. Most homework will take 15/20 minutes, it's hardly the end of the world is it?

cory · 12/11/2009 18:42

Not convinced that homework for a 6yo is a very essential learning experience, but would still agree with other posters that you could either have made it into something positive for her or sent a note in to teacher explaining why you wouldn't be doing it. And I couldn' be bothered to be livid for something as minor as this tbh. Save livid for the BIG things in life.

At the upper end of primary school (Yrs 5 and 6) I do actually think homework is important: children are really going to struggle with projects at secondary school if they've never even taken responsibility for a small sheet of maths or literacy homework.

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:44

completely Rindercella, education does not end at school but extends to home as well, its never to early for children to learn a bit of responsibility. FGS it wont hurt or kill them, might even do them a bit of good. My dd is only 2.8 years so too young at the moment, but will be supporting her with her homework in the future and listening to her read and practising her spelling and maths. IMO when you have kids them is what you signed into.

Bathsheba · 12/11/2009 18:46

TBH this "anti homework" stategy and feeling is not something I've thankfully encountered in real life, but here and on another forum that I've used I can't beleive the amazing anti homework feeling..

I was given homework in P1 upwards - sums, reading, spelling....and later on, "put these words into sentances"....

It would never occur to me to think of homework that was given to my P1 child as optional.

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:49

Did these anti homework people ever did theirs I wonder or did they think that it does not apply to them!

tethersend · 12/11/2009 18:49

I think 6 is too young for homework; but then I don't agree with homework at all, TBH.

And I am a teacher.

Sassybeast · 12/11/2009 18:50

YABU. The appropriateness of homework at this age is fairly irrelevant. At what point do you start teaching them that sometimes they have to do things that they may not always want to do ? And given the veracity or otherwise of a 6 year olds version of being told off, I wouldn't go in there all guns blazing....

How do you think DD felt when all her little friends held up their pics and she hadn't done one ?

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:50

sorry meant ever do theirs sorry typo. My brain works before my fingers

RockinSockBunnies · 12/11/2009 18:51

YABU - I wish DD had more homework. As a child I used to have at least half an hour every evening from the age of around seven onwards. I don't think it's too much to ask for a few sentences at the weekend from a six year old.

IMO, homework helps children understand that there's something they must do at a regular time each week, whether they like it or not. Furthermore, it helps them to learn.

I think you should be supporting the school and her teacher, rather than undermining its influence.

Feenie · 12/11/2009 18:51

Me neither, tethersend.

I teach Y5, and set reading and tables homework every now and again, but that's it.

happyharry · 12/11/2009 18:52

My dd had homework/projects from Receptions onwards. In fact the stuff she did in reception was probably more time consuming than her year 1 stuff. We had loads of fun doing it and I now have some lovely momentos.

However, I too would be a little shocked for a 6 year old to be told off for not doing her homwework.

Original poster

ihatethecold · 12/11/2009 18:52

listen you guys . i read with her every day, we do her homework every week, spellings maths/literacy. this is the first piece of homework not done over the weekend this school yr.
i didn't think it would be an issue to not hand in one piece of homework.

OP posts:

aristocat · 12/11/2009 18:52

agree that it is your responsibility to support your child in their education.

cant imagine it was much of a telling off....more a gentle reminder to do it next time.

cory · 12/11/2009 18:53

Lots of teachers don't believe in homework for Infants school.

As for me, I wasn't even at school at this age, so naturally didn't do any homework.

When dcs were little I still used to consider it common courtesy to let the teacher know if my dcs had been unable to do something expected of them (because of being tired, struggling with adapting to school etc). Not something to get all worked up about.

pigletmania · 12/11/2009 18:55

ihatethecold but it is though its a bit of a bad example to set. If you were dead against it i would have seen the teacher and explained my reasons.

cory · 12/11/2009 18:58

well, if it wasn't an issue, why make it an issue if the teacher complains?

a brief note would have covered it

why sweat the small stuff?

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