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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that getting ur ? month old babys ears pierced is awful !

121 replies

em83 · 12/11/2009 08:18

i was in town yesterday in claires accessories and was appauled to see a mother sitting with her baby on her lap about to get the babys ears pierced !! it was visible the baby coulld not quite sit up by herself so im guessing she was around 6-7 month.
i moved away to the top of te shop and heard a high pitched scream... poor baby !!!
the mother needless to say was a bit of a "chav" and dripping in gold herself,
my 2 girls are 1 and 2 and i wouldnt dream of getting their ears pierced for a good more few year yet !
i think this is awfu that shops allow this sort of thing, aibu to think this !

OP posts:
Morloth · 12/11/2009 10:58

I am not saying that because it is cultural that it makes it right (as I said some cultural practices I find absolutely vile and wrong). Just that it seems more acceptable for people from one culture to do it than from another, I was wondering what was the difference?

I got mine done when I was 17 because I was a bridesmaid and was asked if I would wear certain earrings. I didn't care either way so got them done for my friend.

Morloth · 12/11/2009 11:00

So when does something change from a "fad" to a "tradition"?

Can you tell, I really don't want to go clean the kitchen?

posieparker · 12/11/2009 11:05

I have no idea, I guess a tradition is something I like to think is as old as my Granny! (well she's dead but you know what I mean).Cultural traditions stand the test of time and are used to excuse things no longer acceptable if introduced today, like piercing the ears of babies. A fad is something that doesn't last and is not born out of a meaningful practice.

Just guessing.

scarletlilybug · 12/11/2009 11:06

"I think people suggesting age limit of 13 is crazy, many many children ask for it done well before that age"

I'm not sure what the age limit should be, but just because children ask for something, doesn't mean that it's always a good idea for them to get that thing.

Fibilou · 12/11/2009 11:16

Many children ask for tattoos in their early teens - but they can't get them. Likewise cigarettes and alcohol.

Just because they want to do something doesn't mean they should be able to

slushy06 · 12/11/2009 11:18

'If you ask most people who had their ears pierced as a baby or a young age, whether they feel angry with their mum for that or feel like it was so cruel unreasonable etc, you will find most people saying no'

Exactly most people not all.

I had mine done at 3 biggest mistake of my life I cant wear gold or even platinum for more than a day in my ears and I ended up down the gps with a infection that had spread from my ear all along my face and stopped by my mouth.

Even now as an adult if I put earrings in for more than an hour my ears bleed like mad. They even swell up sometimes for no reason so I really wish I hadn't had them done and my dd will not be getting them done till she is 11.

Saying that I have had my belly button pierced and had no problems with that so assumed I must have funny ears.

anonymous85 · 12/11/2009 11:20

I'm not a fan of babies, but think it's ok once they're old enough to ask for their ears to be pierced. I think babies actually look a bit funny with earings with their bald heads lol

Disenchanted3 · 12/11/2009 11:20

I don't really think it is awful.

My mum got my ears pierced early on as did all the mums of the friends I grew up with. (born '84)

By the time we were 8/10 we wanted another ear piercing so we could have 2 sets in.

I don't remember it happening. Doesn't bother me that she did it, and i think i looked cute with wee studs in.

ImSoNotTelling · 12/11/2009 11:25

Good point anonymous85. I am not a fan of babies either and think they should be pierced all over

DorotheaPlenticlew · 12/11/2009 11:31

Cannot for the life of me grasp why anyone would pierce a baby's ears, or let a small child have it done. Just because some of you have had it done as kids and don't mind, doesn't mean everyone would feel that way. Let it be a choice the person makes when they are older.

I had it done around age 11, but didn't like it at all and really regretted it. Turned out I was allergic to most earrings anyway, and just didn't like the feeling of having them in, or the way they looked. I let the holes heal up a year or two later.

A small baby can't tell her parents if her earrings are annoying her, or if they feel uncomfortable. She can't adjust them or decide to take them out. It's just mean.

anonymous85 · 12/11/2009 11:33

lol whoops ISNT! hehe

FleeBee · 12/11/2009 13:50

I remember my SIL getting my DN ears pierced for her first birthday and I was pretty .

Only because I'd had mine done at 12 and I still remember the pain, then they got infected and then I could only wear gold studs as anything else was too painful and my ears got all gungy. I don't wear any earings now.

When my DN was about 3 I remember her rolling round on the floor and got her earring caught in the carpet, was one of those seagrassy type ones. She screamed there was blood and it was quite yak and I really felt for her.

I know have to DDs and there is NO way I would ever get their ears pierced for a looong time. This is based on my own personal experiences. I even cried when my DDs had their injections so wouldn't cope with seeing them get a needle in their ears.

Hulababy · 12/11/2009 14:01

YANBU to think it is horrid and/or cruel to the baby.
YANBU to not like it
YANBU to think it should be illegal and banned until a child is far older (IMO)
YANBU t think ti shouldn't be allowed - IMO even "cultural" reasons is not a good excuse, lots of things are "cultural" and not good/right

However, YABU to call the mum "chav" and make judgements about her appearance, type, etc.

FWIW I have seen babies and young children from all walks of life with pierced ears; it is not just a "sort."

Hulababy · 12/11/2009 14:04

After observing a very young baby have its ear's pieced in Claires once (I did post at the time) I am adament it should not be allowed. It was very distressing to watch and hear. And the parents reaction to it as well (mum and dad were both there) was not nice to see, the babies screams (and I mean real screaming, not a whimper or cries, proper full on screaming lasting quite a good while) still haunt me, and as for the girl doing the piercing - hmmm.

ScattyKatty · 12/11/2009 14:14

The OP was in Claire's... she can't be that much of a snob can she?

I had mine done at 13 as a welcome to being a teenagers sort of thing. Most of my friends were around 13 too. I would NEVER pierce a baby's ears as they are likely to get pulled at when they are very young as they don't know to look after them and I've seen babies after earrings have been ripped out a it wasn't nice

Fruitbatlings · 12/11/2009 14:17

YANBU
It's awful, I can't bare it

claraquack · 12/11/2009 14:21

I live in the Caribbean and here they think I am wierd for NOT having my dds' ears pierced (they are 1 and 4).

Each to their own. Personally I think it's not a great idea as I worry about them ripping their earlobes open, but there are worse things going on in the world.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/11/2009 14:25

its horrible and tacky and that child didnt choose to have pain inflicted on it

nothing wrong with earrings on a child who asks and knows what it going to happen, ie pain, and having to clean/twist them

from 8years upwards

Kaloki · 12/11/2009 14:44

I personally don't like it, I used to work at Claire's and was trained to do ear piercings. Luckily I left before I had to pierce any small children's ears. It was always really upsetting to watch, because they were obviously freaked out! I know a lot of children ended up with only one ear done as they were so upset by it. It doesn't help that Claire's uses the ear piercing gun, if you are going to get a child's ears pierced at least have the sense to take them to a properly trained piercer who uses needles not a gun! Far far less painful and much quicker to heal.

shinyrobot · 12/11/2009 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MannyMoeAndJack · 12/11/2009 14:48

I get the thing about cultural expectations but for me, I dislike seeing babies/toddlers with pierced ears (or navals, anyone?). I can't help but see the potential for accidents.

I so wanted my ears pierced when I was young...so one day, I sneaked off to the jewellers to get them done only to be asked for my home phone number so that the owners could call my parents to ask for consent! I hoped and hoped that my mum would answer cos my dad would have point-blank refused. I was 11/12yrs old. My mum answered and I got my way.

But..I never wear earrings now, too much hassle!

AgentZigzag · 12/11/2009 17:24

Kaloki, how did Claires deal with anyone who perhaps didn't want to pierce babies ears? Was it just expected do you know?

halfcut · 12/11/2009 17:30

Oh its the monthly ear piercing thread ..with the usual chav reference

Hando · 12/11/2009 17:38

I also find ear piercing babies totally unacceptable. I'm shocked people actually use the arguments "it's my child I decide" and "it's my culture".

As someone else has said, just because it's culture doesn't mean it's not cruel, or that it's thr right thing to do. Many cultures need totally wiping out as they are vile and inhumane.. female circ, footbinding etc for example.

I also think that male circ. for religious reasons is disgusting - why would anyone think that "God" wanted them to mutilate and harm their baby boys? How can a mother knowingly do that to a child, unless for medical reasons. That's beyond belief and is child abuse in my eyes, pure and simple.

Vivia · 12/11/2009 18:21

Don't say 'Chav' OP - it totally discounts your actual question. Which is a good point - I think children should only have heir ears pierced and similar when they can decide for themselves. So for the actual question, YANBU. In making this out to be a 'class' argument, however, YABU.