to be annoyed that national express trains won't heat baby milk?

[trixie123]

On a National Express train from york -London the other day and buffet car staff refused to heat the bottle of milk I had managed to keep fridge cool all day ready for the journey home. Produced a letter from managaement backing up their "health and safety" excuse. This might be slightly more believable if the changing table wasn't lacking a safety strap - not fun on a train hurtling along and rocking from side to side. Bloody H&S and bloody jobsworth staff who sympathised "I've got children too" but would rather my 3 month old screamed the place down or drank cold milk then give a me a pot of hot water (which I would have used there, not carried down the train). Can't help but assume it is profiteering so you buy a herbal tea or something to get the hot water.

Just a thought maybe thats why Macdonalds hot drinks have a warning on about contents being hot now.

Fililou would you really get annoyed in that situation? Waiting while someone got a cup of water, someone got a cup of hot water, someone was helped to the loo? I honestly wouldn't. A cup of coffee is a luxury, not a necessity. If you need to be helped to the tolet then that takes precedence.

I wouldn't get annoyed by someone getting helped to the loo. I would get annoyed with people getting free stuff while I patiently wait ready to pay for my service, yes.

Fibilou - because the person has paid £££ to go on the train, they are a captive audience, they need something in order to feed their baby, that thing is refused.

That anyone would say that is right and proper is utterly depressing, and even more so that so many people are saying it.

FWIW if someone asks me for help, or looks like they need help, I give it freely. The times I have needed help, mostly other people have helped me out.

But you read threads on here and it makes you realise how far away our society has moved from that simple idea, and how unless there's "something in it for me" a lot of people just don't give a stuff. And would rather sit and mutter and watch someone else struggle.

Life is hard enough surely? Have none of you ever needed help?

So if someone rushed up to the canteen and said "please quick my friend is pregnant and feeling unwell she needs a drink of water" you would say "not so fast mate! who do you think you are? I'm in the queue for a paid for service and I am sure as hell going to make sure that you don't get away with any free water. If your friends is pregnant she should have brought some water with her onto the train. This is a blatent example of lack of planning and all your own fault".

Or would you say "oh dear I hope she's all right".

Ridiculous.

blimey, really had no idea this would be such a heated discussion(see what I did there??) I am afraid I do encouter "jobsworths" a fair bit so please don't tell me I don't. However, leaving that aside, let me leave this as my final thought/comment on the matter:

1. I did not mean to cause offence by not thanking those who didn't agree with me, I was just expressing gratitude for the support I did receive. I atually said I was interested in ALL the comments.
2. Thanks for the practical advice some have given, I will take it on board (see what I did there again??)
3. there was in fact no queue at the buffet and it would not have been an inconvenience to anyone else. I really did see it as something they could easily do to help out, as some posters have suggested, not an obligation and was therefore peed off at the lack of said help. that was all.

just buy a farkin cup of tea!

FGS!

how hard can it be to dunk the bottom of the bottle in a cup of tea, or to hold it over the tea. you're not actually trying to get the milk hot are you - you just need the chill taken off it.

FFS, that is a completely different scenario. Are you now going to say something equally ridiculous like I think people who are waiting for food should be served before someone who's had a heart attack ?

I do not think it is unreasonable for a train provider to not want to provide a non-emergency free service at the expense of customers that are prepared to pay.

I can't believe how mean-spirited some posters are. I would have found it absolutely daunting to have travelled from London to York on a train when my son was 3months old. And yes, he was being bottle fed at that age so shoot me. I was lucky he didn't mind his bottles at room temperature but as the OP has stated, her baby does. What she's supposed to do? As she said, she normally used cartons but had run out. If you're travelling it's not always easy to carry a flask of hot water round with you. And it is dangerous to try and prepare a feed and juggle a baby and a hot flask of water on a moving train.

I can understand that the individual staff couldn't go against the company policy but the company policy is nonsense and the OP is within her rights to be pissed off about that.

And to whoever didn't like my comments about the way they do things on the Continent. Well, yes, it's a cliche, but it's a cliche because it's true- a mum travelling on a train in Europe wouldn't have encountered this problem I'm willing to bet. From the comments posted by some, I can just imagine you sitting there with your cats bum faces while the poor OP struggled with her screaming baby. But hey, you'd all be alright because your baby was breastfed, or you had succeeded in getting your baby to take room temp milk or you'd remembered your flask of hot water. Gee whizz.

It's not though. The baby needs to feed, doesn't it. Little ones aren't very good at holding off when they're hungry. The baby can't be told that it goes against H&S, or that they're scared of sueing, or that it's the parent's stupid fault for not being organised.

Baby needs to feed, that ought to be facilitated. Not made to wait however many hours unti the end of the journey, or have to get off the train.

Ditto pg woman. Not having water won't kill her. However it will help her. So let her have it.

I don't see it as due to a litigious society. It is about minimising risk. Do you think they put soft surfaces at parks because of the risk of being sued, or because it is safer for children?
To much bloody cynicism around here!
The bottom line is why SHOULD they give you hot water?

Sorry to pick on you again clemette, but soft surfaces at parks are there because they are safer for children and therefore less risk of being sued!! How can you shout about cynicism when your next line is why should they give you hot water? Because they don't want a 3 month old baby to have warm milk in case they get sued. That is cynicism. And it's total bollocks because, and I repeat, you can still get a cup of boiling hot tea to drink but not water to heat a bottle - why? Please someone answer this question because IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE - it's not reasonable AT ALL. Why can't comapnies have a disclaimer to say, if we give you hot water to heat a bottle, it's your lookout? Really, why? And don't anyone else go on about the OP not being prepared ffs, we've all made "mistakes" right and I would say having a cold bottle of milk is pretty low down on the heinous crimes list. Sorry, now I'm effing mad.

I think that feeding a 3mo baby when it's hungry is quite a priority TBH.

I went and sat on a bench in the pissing rain today to feed my 4mo as there was no-where suitable with shelter to go, and when a 4mo needs feeding, you feed it. i could have waited 40 mins til we went home, but she'd have been screaming her head off. So I did the best I could, although it was pretty wet.

I wonder if anyone saw me and thought "stupid cow should have thought to bring a tent with her, how disorganised FFS"

I don't have any opinion about the warming of milk but just wanted to make the point that I don't think changing tables should straps for the baby as these just lead to a false sense of security. My baby can always shuffle out from under the strap.

It's the parent's responsibility to make sure the baby doesn't fall off of the changing table, strap or no strap.

It is utterly ridiculous that NE would refuse to give out a cup of hot water - for any reason, not just heating a bottle. They serve hot drinks, what's the difference? And if it's a money issue, charging 10 or 20p for a cup of hot water would be perfectly reasonable.

It is absurd that a parent should have to dress up their request for hot liquid to heat their baby's milk by asking for tea/coffee/whatever...

Can't believe the mean and hostile nature of some of the posts here. It's a cup of hot water FFS. And since the OP has had no difficulty getting cups of hot water in other places why should she have thought NE would be any different?

Yes Greg. Put a sign up and charge 5p for a cup of hot water. Job done.

Oh. I've just realised why it is.

They don't want people making their own hot drinks. If you give people cups of hot water, they can put their own teabag/hotchoc etc in it and the company lose the revenue.

I am sure that is more likely than the sueing thing. i am sure, in fact, that that is the real reason. It makes sense.

I agree with you Imsonottelling. I also think it's all down to money and not wanting to provide a service for free.

I don't think it's mean or hostile to say that the OP was unreasonable to be pissed off by the policy and to offer her advice if she finds herself in the same situation in the future.
Whether or not it is kind, it is a bit rich to be annoyed about someone not going the extra mile for you. Yes it is nice when people bend rules/ put themselves out, but it is hardly reasonable to be cross when they don't and there is an alternative way of getting your needs met.
As for cynicism, the belief that there is a "system" that is determined to impose pointless health and safety on the nation is a belief that verges on conspiracy theory. It is the belief that " if they don't do what I want it is because of the government/Europe/corporations/other people, rather than accepting that, as a parent it is up to YOU to provide what your children need if it is at all possible.
Perhaps NE is going for UNICEF baby friendly status (the same reason that hospital canteens won't heat baby milk).

"Whether or not it is kind, it is a bit rich to be annoyed about someone not going the extra mile for you."

So for eg all the times I had to stand on the tube for 45 mins when heavily pregnant, and often ended up sitting on the floor, because no-one ever gave me their seat, it would have been a bit rich for me to get annoyed about it.

Thankfully I didn't get annoyed about it. I did get very upset though.

We should not expect strangers to be kind? I expect strangers to be kind, in general, and am upset when they are unkind.

However looking at other threads it seems I may be in a minority on that one. Maybe I am naive to think that we all live in a community, and should look out for one another and people who are more vulnerable than ourselves. The evidence on here is that it is not the way that most people live. I don't want to give it up though. I don't want to accept that not helping people is the standard, that we all have to turn away when we see things happening, that if people aren't paying for help then they should not receive it.

wow. haven't read whole thread, but gobsmacked at the number of people kind of sticking up for companies who won't heat food, provide hot water etc, but will happily sell you scalding hot tea? what's the difference? the litigeous culture (which is shite) would apply equally to a cup of hot tea on a train, so i just don't buy that its reasonable for companies to cite H&S as their reasoning.

they should be honest and say that they won't provide the hot water / microwave the toddler jar because they don't want to spend the staff time and expense (electricity / paper cup) for something you're not paying for. Whilst I personally think that's annoying, at least it is a justifiable business case.

sick to death of being fobbed off by "health and safety" when that isn't the real reason else no where would sell hot food or drinks ever.

grrrr. so i don't know whether you're being unreasonable or not! but they are being unreasonable for the wrong reasons. H&S = unreasonable. Cost = mean and rotten customer service but fair enough, its their choice not your / our right to expect things for free.

I'm inclined to agree with pregnantpeppa!

A tea bag hardly costs the earth, so the difference between a cup of tea and a cup of boiled water is negligible. I just think it's a bit cheeky to go out without what you consider 'essentials' and then expect them to be provided for free! No one would buy drinks if we could get hot water on demand - we'd just carry a teabag with us.

I think some people are going to extremes here, assuming it means society has broken down, and no one wants to help their fellow human beings etc. I don't see that around me at all. I think most people are quite happy to help someone in genuine need, but I think deliberately setting off on a several hour journey without what you feel to be essential, and then complaining that it isn't provided for you on demand, is not genuine need, it's just choosing to not be prepared! Very unfair on the young baby.

I agree with Imsonottelling.

We can't always be prepared for everything 100% of the time.

OP you should have got your hot water. I have every sympathy for you. It really gets my goat when people judge others instead of helping. I have had that and it is not fun.

YANBU

Just thinking of asking for milk to be heated - shortly after birth of ds(he was only about 4 weeks old), I went to a bar with bottle of expressed milk and asked if it could be heated. The waitress asked "is it real milk?", I said yes (well, it's not exactly false is it?) and when it came back it was frothy, obviously she used the cappucino machine to heat it. I was too to say anything, but guess the nozzle's cleaned between customers!

How can anyone say that feeding a 3mo baby isn't a genuine need? That to make baby wait god knows how long (hours?) for a feed is a right and proper punishment for mum forgetting something/understandably assuming something would be available when it wasn't.

If the OP had known then I'm sure she would have been prepared. She understandably assumed that on a train with a buffet car hot water would be available.

it wasn't so everyone says "ha! you are a shitto mum. you should always guard against every possibility, and if you fail it is fair and right that your baby go without".

For a cup of hot water FFS.

I hope I never need any assistance when you lot are around.