to be upset with my friend

[gingerbunny]

we had our ds2 christened last week, one of our closes friends of over 20 years, came with his partner and although they got us a card there was no gift.
Usually I won't be upset by this, but the background is that this friend is godfather to ds1 and pays money every month into a special account for him for when he's older.
Which is a really lovely thing to do for him and we are so grateful for that.
So therefore I was slightly upset when we opened all of ds2 gifts to find nothing from him.
I mulled it over for a week, he even came round for tea yesterday, but never said anything.
So I text him today and said we had some gifts without labels and was one from him.
He replied, 'no sorry, we couldn't find anything that wasn't tatt. I'll get him a cricket shirt next season.'
I'm really upset by this, I didn't expect him to do the same as for ds2, but AIBU to have expected a small token of something.

[diddl]

But if you wanted himto treat them equally,you should have made him godfather again!

[Tee2072]

More importantly, I know all about proper etiquette and to not ask someone if they have neglected to send a gift.

Don't take your embarrassment of your rudeness out on other people. That is also very rude.

[bigstripeytiger]

I can understand why you want people to treat your children equally, but from your friends point of view one is a godchild, and one isnt. If it is a responsibility that your friend takes seriously then it would be expected that he would treat them differently.

Is it possible that your friend might feel that he has over-committed himself financially with the money for your DS1?

[pipsqueak]

greedy!!

[kneedeepinthedirtylaundry]

You're welcome gingerbunny. I think on am i being unreasonable there are people who just want to flame for the hell of someone, not because they can honestly be so incensed by what they are reading ? minor things going on in other people's lives ? but so they have an excuse take their bad moods out on opening posters. Good place to relieve a bit of PMT!

[Tee2072]

How misogynistic of you, kneedeepinthedirtylaundry, to assume anyone who disagrees with someone is having PMT.

I am not flaming for the hell of it. I am fed up with rude behaviour because people no longer follow proper etiquette.

This includes notes about wedding registries in the invitation and expecting a person's wedding gift to 'cover their plate', among other things.

I also get this worked up when people do not RSVP.

[kneedeepinthedirtylaundry]

chill out tee, I wasn't talking about you specifically. And the PMT thing was a bit of a joke.

[kneedeepinthedirtylaundry]

Although you do sound a bit PMTish to me

[Tee2072]

Sorry, I don't find sexist jokes amusing.

And I'm not PMT. I'm always a bitch.

[kneedeepinthedirtylaundry]

What's proper bitch etiquette then?!

[wildfig]

YABVU and rude, sorry. You say you want him to treat your children equally, but you haven't set up that relationship - you've made him godfather to your DS1 but he'll just be a loving family friend to the other.

And, by the way, just because someone doesn't have children doesn't mean that they automatically want to shell out endless amounts of cash on kids' stuff. When you're not constantly exposed to ELC/Toys R Us, etc, it tends to look over-priced and shonky, and you never know if you're buying the right thing. Men are even more clueless, and tend not to recognise 'deadlines' for gift giving. My DH and I are godparents to various children, despite not having any of our own yet, and apart from token teddies, most of the presents we've given them have been late, but chosen carefully as things they'll treasure when they're a bit older.

[forkhandles]

for what it's worth I think YANBU, if close friends were having their child christened I would definitely take a gift and if I couldn't find one I would make a point of saying so and that it was in the pipeline. I would not just give a card. But then that's just me and we are all different.

However the text to him about gifts without labels is a bit in bad taste. Surely there couldn't have been that many that you couldn't work it out, sounds to me like you were trying to make him feel bad.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

YABU. Surely you have more to worry about than this? He's probably skint at the moment or has been busy and forgot to get something. He might be feeling a bit weird about your txt now and he might well be planning to get your DS a cricket top- which is nice anyway.

[gingerbunny]

ok consider this witch flamed!!
Happy all Hallo's Eve.