to expect a mum to stay on first playdate?

[pofacedandproud]

Ds is in reception. A mum rang up to arrange a play date, I don't know her, I don't know her ds, though my ds does. I invited them for tea. After ten minutes she got up and said she's be back in an hour. I was surprised but wanted to be polite and said ok. I spent the next hour and a half trying to entertain her ds, who seemed bewildered and withdrawn [he is only just 4] and when she came back and asked if he'd had a nice time he shook his head. She said 'what happened?' I just said he'd been a bit quiet. I really don't feel comfortable being put in that position with a child I don't know. Am I being silly?

I think this thread shows exactly what the OP's point is - some people are saying they wouldn't expect the other DC's parents to stay and some saying they would. Not sure what the social etiquette is!!

IMO (for that age child) I do expect the mum to stay - especially if I don't really know her and even if she does have younger DC's.

if you do have younger siblings then they are going to be bored at someones house they dont know and prob wont have a child the same age to play with - so whats the point?

why on earth do i want to sit and talk to a mum i dont know for 2+hrs while trying to contain my little monsters darlings from wrecking her house?

i think the best way is either to do as op friends mum did,pop in, say hello/have a cuppa and then go and paick up hour later THE FIRST TIME* then child to be picked up from school by other mum/nanny etc

I think it's a good idea to stay for the first playdate. DS2 is in reception and his friends he met at nursery come alone to play at our house. However, he was talking about a boy new to the school and I invited all the family over. The boy didn't know me or our house and it would have been too much for a 4 year old. If he comes to play again it will probably be by himself.

'what worries you about the situation that you would have your mind put at rest about by staying?'

well, that I could be with my just-four-year old while he went to the house of a complete stranger that he or I had never even spoken to really.....call me old fashioned.....!!! It would be seen as odd/child protection issue if I knocked a stranger's door and dropped him off for two hours just because I knew they had a four year old as well. Don't see how it's any better dropping off at the home of a child who also goes to your child's school, if you've never even spoken to the child's parents

I think it's a parental responsibility (when they're only 4) to know the environments you're putting them into. How can it not be?

ime reception is the tipping point between staying/not staying. dd1 is now in yr1, last year most of her playdates didn't have a parent with them but one did stay as her ds was a bit unsure.

I don't entertain visiting kids, the whole idea is they go upstairs to play while I mn in the kitchen.

DS is a little older than reception age but unless I had been to the house before and knew the parents well I wouldn't let him go alone.

I prefer for him to have friends over at ours as its easier.

For parties the bulk of parents still stay as most are at the same soft play areas where parents can have a coffee and a chat.