Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be suprised by this mums reaction?

70 replies

NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:16

I was on the train yesterday with the DC & there was a mum with her 2 boys sitting opposite, the boys were aged about 6 & 9 at a guess.

The youngest lad was playing on what I think was a PSP & started to get frustrated, he was moaning that he couldn't get past this certain bit then in a temper shouted & threw the PSP in the floor (really hard too) folding his arms & sulking. I was but his mum scooped up the PSP, wrapped her arms around her DS & said 'don't worry babe Mummy will help you get past that bit' to which he tried to shove her off still moaning so she fished around in her bag & handed him a chocolate bar

AIBU to be miffed by her reaction? If DD had done that I would have taken the PSP (or whatever) away until she said sorry & learnt to treat her things with respect.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 30/10/2009 16:18

Blimey.

Glad I'm not his teacher with a mum like that.

Biobytes · 30/10/2009 16:20

I would be miffed by that reaction but I have seen MANY people acting like that.

Fibilou · 30/10/2009 16:20

He's going to be lovely at 17

SixtyFootGhoul · 30/10/2009 16:21

Well that would not have been my reaction.
If DS had done that I would hav gone ballistic!

4GHASTLYGHOULSandnotout · 30/10/2009 16:22

He sounds like my nephews! Yanbu he sounds like a spoilt brat!

TheDevilEatsBabies · 30/10/2009 16:28

it might be that she didn't want to get mad at him on the train.

she probably thinks she looks like a better mother if she doesn't make a fuss in public, rather than screamign and yelling like some mums (obv she's wrong, but she's keeping up appearances...)

Original poster
NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:41

Phew! I thought for one awful minute you were all going to tell me I was BU!

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 30/10/2009 16:41

Well until you have a child who suffers unusually with frustration than this behaviour will continue to seem unreasonable to you. I see it differently - child was upset and angry with himself, mum helped him past it - where's the problem? Oh and the chocolate bar - lots of children get grouchy and difficult when they have low blood sugar. Chocolate not the best thing for that because the sugar high will crash but she's on a train - her options are limited!

pigletmania · 30/10/2009 16:42
Shock
Ohforfoxsake · 30/10/2009 16:45

Agree with Northern. Chances are the situation would have been made a whole lot worse if she'd insisted he apologise for throwing (presumably) his toy on the floor.

My 8 yo isn't a spoiled brat, but does react in a flash if he gets frustrated and is very hard on himself. Sometimes being nice and recognising your childs personality is the way forward.

Original poster
NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:45

I was on the train too, a long journey so had packed snacks you're not really that limited if you pack something in advance surely?

OP posts:
Jajas · 30/10/2009 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gorionine · 30/10/2009 16:46

Well, I do not quite agree with her reaction, but maybe it was the best option she had to avoid her DS screaming the train down, her trying to calm him down and ending up angry herself and ennoyed because everyone is looking at her with eyes saying "what a bad mother you are"

We do not know how she delt with the situation once she was at home with her DS.

Ohforfoxsake · 30/10/2009 16:49

I don't really understand why you would be miffed though. She didn't deal with it the way you would have. So what?

Original poster
NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:51

So it's ok to act like that when out to avoid a fuss?

OP posts:
hercules1 · 30/10/2009 16:53

That's why I hate going on trains. People sitting in judgement watching you parent fractious children.

junglist1 · 30/10/2009 16:54

Sounds like my 6 year old. He has my temper. I would've shouted and taken it off him for a long time. That mum is a for her own *

Northernlurker · 30/10/2009 16:54

No it's ok to deal with YOUR child in the way YOU wish. Which is exactly what this poor woman was doing - it didn't impact on you at all and you know nothing about this child - why exactly are you so down on her?

Ohforfoxsake · 30/10/2009 16:56

Act like what? She reassured him, helped him and gave his a treat. OK, you think this is rewarding his behaviour, she might just be getting through the journey with as least fuss as possible.

I'd have probably done the same, because when DS1 gets frustrated and reacts angrily. I wish he didn't, but he does. Doesn't make him a bad child, he's used to achieving high but is doubly hard on himself when he doesn't.

I find your judgement of her and the way she dealt with the situation worse to be honest. You would have reprimanded your child and given them a bit of cheese presumably.

Helloall · 30/10/2009 16:56

I think its hard to judge. You don't know anything about where they had been. Often parents do this when there is something larger going on. Maybe they were visiting sick grandparent? Maybe the boys parents just got separated? Maybe they have just moved area. Or maybe she was nursing a severe hangover?

Train journeys can be a headache. Maybe they'd spent several hours in a car too.

Original poster
NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:57

No, not sitting judgement just suprised that's all. I have no choice but to travel on trains, I can't drive so the only way I can get about is on the train - DD has thrown more then a few strops on the train through tiredness/boredom etc etc & I've had my fair share of stares & muttered comments but that's life. We were all children once, we all threw paddys at one time or another - I just wouldn't personally let DD throw a very expensive item on the floor in a huff & be ok with it but that's just me

OP posts:
hercules1 · 30/10/2009 16:59

Of course you were sitting in judgement

wicked · 30/10/2009 16:59

The child probably needs help with his temper, but confronting him on the train about this is not the right place.

I think the only thing the mum did wrong (in retrospect) is leaving him in frustration for so long that he threw his game.

Original poster
NormaSknockers · 30/10/2009 16:59

Yes I probably would have given DD cheese, or raisins, or a banana - what's wrong with that?

OP posts:
Ohforfoxsake · 30/10/2009 17:01

Nothing, I am making the point that because you do things your way, don't critise her for doing things her way.

Coming on here and tut-tutting about it. Tut.

Swipe left for the next trending thread