to have burst out crying?

[aoifesmama]

Hi, not having a great day (feeling ill, DD suddenly crying when put in cot, return to work on Monday, arghhh!) but I have just had what I feel is the most awful experience.

Someone knocked on the door and I left DD playing on her mat to go and answer it. The lady at the door was very nicely dressed and in her late 50s/early 60s. She said she was carrying out a survery as to the views of people in the area on Question Time last week. DD began to cry and I left the lady at the door to go and get her. Brought her back and the lady said "ahh, I can see there is little hope in speaking to you, your family has already been cleansed". DD is mixed race. I couldn't quite believe what she was saying, she said she was out campaigning for the idea of London for Londoners. Our next door neighbour was opening his door and came over and escorted her down the path and told her he would call the police for racist incitement. He brought us in and told me not to worry. I have been crying, but worse I didn't even tell the woman she was wrong, I was so upset and just wanted to get DD in and away.

I know that its likely that DD will face issues in her future (DH and I have never experienced any kind of racism since DD was born and any that we have since was when I was visiting my family in Ireland!). I now feel guilty I did nothing and don't know whether to say anything to DH, as I dont want to upset him, although worried our neighbour might.

Should I have said more to the woman?

A lot of people who will openly say that kind of thing, get a kick out of the shock factor. So they will have no problem at all saying it to say a little old lady in a wheelchair, or an adorable little toddler or anyone else.

cleansed!!!

Clearly the woman is absolutely f%cking nuts. Just such a terrible pity that BNP on Question Time has made all the screwpots crawl out from under their stones and feel they are somehow legtitimised.

I still don't understand the "cleansed" bit. Is this BNP insider talk maybe?

Words fail me.

How inadequate must someones life be, to feel the need to behave the way that woman has. If that is her attitude, then she is in for a lifetime of anger and hostility. She's a poor, deluded fool.

I hope your evening turns out better, but even if it's awful, it's not as bad as being her.

aoife have only read first few but that is HORRID.I am so sorry you experienced that. Can you remember the name of the organisation? Please dont feel like that - you did nothing wrong at all.

Am appalled. Who knows what she means exactly but she should not be allowed to continue door knocking! Well done that neighbour.
Your reaction perfectly understandable and don't feel bad about not saying more - she sounds too far gone to hear you anyway.
I think maybe tell DH so he can support and comfort you, or if like my DP, just get cross with you.
Hope you feel better. She is a TINY minority.

not cross with YOU, cross with her, with you...

aoifesmama-

How awful for you, I think I owuld've cried too. Sounds like you have lovely neighbours.

Thank you all so much for your kind words (and making me laugh with some things). DSis came over and put DD to bed whilst I told DH.

He was incensed, but thought I did the right thing. He said he went through similar (out shopping and things) whilst growing up, but that he hopes things will be different for DD. I also didn't understand cleansed, DSis said she thought it referred to the news and Nick Griffin's speech the day after the QT interview, but I don't know.

My very kind neighbour came over to check I was okay and is talking to DH. Feeling much better.

What a horrible experience, and am glad your neighbour was around to support you. Yes, of course you should have told her where to get off and hopefully you will next time when you are feeling stronger.

The first time I heard something openly racist (in my adult life), I was struck dumb, but now I have got a verbal attack on the tip of my tongue. It just takes practise, thats all. And these people have to be challenged, so that they dont kid themselves that they speak for the silent majority.

I don't understand the 'cleansed' bit either. Someone please explain...

And with regards to the door-knocker - vile old witch! London for Londoners - that means anyone who lives and works there. Regardless of colour/background/haircolour/favourite underpants etc.
Am very cross.

Am not British, but am white, so would love to know what she would say to me were she to knock on teh door here!
Am so angry, I could spit feathers!!

Hope you are okay OP. And glad to hear you have a nice neighbour

Stupid bitch. Try not to be too upset - if she goes around London saying stuff like that it's likely that she will soon be eating, breathing and pissing through a tube (though unfortunately not the same tube).

That is AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL, you poor thing, no wonder you cried. How stupid anyway; Londoners are from all over the place and have been for centuries. Stupid woman. I am sure your daughter will be able to deal with any issues like this (it sounds like she has a very lovely mother who will bring her up to be strong and wise) but anyway, here's hoping that the world is a better place by the time she has to face it.

I've heard the cleansed bit before and since people have asked I'm going to explain - but it's horrid. Brace yourselves...

Basically it's the belief by some members of the BNP that white people are subject to "ethnic cleansing" because mixed marriages take place.

I know. It's disgusting, isn't it? That people think this - and thoroughly insulting to people who have actually had their race subject to "ethnic cleansing"

OP - please don't start thinking you could have said more, or should have defended your DD more. All the best responses occur to you later - and you wouldn't have been human if you hadn't been rendered speechless.

How awful for you, I am so sorry she upset you like that.
YANBU, not at all.
I'd have been stunned, youjust don't expect people to be so evil do you?

JEEESSSUUZZZ! I'm disgusted that anyone could have the front to actually SAY that outloud... That's just horrific!

I dare say her days ought to be numbered wandering about in London saying things like that.

Wonder if your wonderful neighbour would consider going to the Police with you and reporting her.

YADDDNBU - I feel so and for you.

The cleanising thing I have heard before too, and its disgusting.

Hope you are okay.

Longtalljosie: thanks for the explanation. That is one of the most perverse pieces of logic I've ever heard. Beggars belief.

Send her round to my house. I'll show her what feckin cleansing feels like.

Thank your blessings you have a good neighbour. There are so many knobheads in this world. You can't spend your life worrying that your DD will get stick from idiots like that woman.

Most people don't think the way she does, as you'll know.

Cow

So so sorry!

How awful for you, shocking that this happened. I would have reacted the same way as you. I think the ethnic cleansing idea is the most foul and offensive thing the BNP has come up with yet. Utterly disgusting.
Wondered if this
might cheer you up?

What an awful old bag! As others have said, she can't knock on too many doors without getting what for. I hope you're feeling better now and can put this incident behind you, because this hag does not deserve a second thought.

And can I just say, your neighbour is an absolute star?

How awful!

The shock of someone being so vile would render me speechless too.

Wonderstuff