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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit surprised DD's friends dad was offended at this?

36 replies

dilemma456 · 28/10/2009 17:43

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 28/10/2009 17:46

How odd! If your DD was 14 then I would say she was rude but she's 4!! It sounds to me like she's just curious and wasn't rude, just inquisitive. My DH's father is Indian and I remember when he first met DD1 who was about 4 too and she asked him how he could be my hubby's dad when his skin was brown! He laughed and tried his best to explain, he wasn't offended, she was just asking, how else do they learn?

Jujubean77 · 28/10/2009 17:49

That sounds a bit odd on his part - surely he should be happy to educate a curious child on reasons behind things.

Sounds very mean tbh...

edam · 28/10/2009 17:52

Sounds as if he was having an off day. Presumably this friend is also four so the dad should know what developmental stage 4yos are at?

SolidGhoulBrass · 28/10/2009 17:52

H sounds a bit up himself. 4 year olds do ask questions that, from older children and NT adults would be nosy and rude, but when they are little, children dont understand things like taboo and culture and are not good at reading the signals that someone is getting a bit hurt or offended. DOn't worry about it.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 28/10/2009 17:52

he was bing silly

Astrid28 · 28/10/2009 17:53

It's a good chance to teach children about another culture. Even if she'd been 20 what she said wasn't actually offensive.

What a misog.

OscarByTheSea · 28/10/2009 18:53

She sounds like a sweet, curious four year old girl to me. Nothing offensive at all IMO.

Original poster
dilemma456 · 28/10/2009 18:56

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Louby3000 · 28/10/2009 18:57

He waS being a bit sensitive i think. whats the problem, innocent child asking questions so she understands why he wears a turban. He is educating her to his religious/cultural ways. Odd.
but Astrid why do you call him a misog??

junglist1 · 28/10/2009 18:58

He needs to get a grip. Some kid said to their mum on the tube today "why is that man wearing earrings mummy" meaning ME (was in tracksuit and have short hair but it was styled all volume and choppy etc) and was I offended? YES, but your DD's question wasn't bad at all.

Firawla · 28/10/2009 19:20

must have been having a bad day... its normal for small children to ask qs like that and i dont think your dd was rude or anything. if they say something like "your turbans is stupid" then that would have been different and at that age they can know not to say that, but asking an innocent q shouldnt be a problem

busybutterfly · 28/10/2009 19:26

dilemma think his daughter's question was ruder, can you think of something really offensive and even the scores up?

KERALA1 · 28/10/2009 19:35

He needs to lighten up, children are inquisitive.

At the local primary school a Muslim imam came in to talk to the children about Islam. When he had finished he asked if anyone had any questions. A 4 year old put his hand up and asked "have you ever had fleas" (apparently his cat had fleas and he was obsessed by them and was asking everybody). The imam had to leave the room he was laughing so much. No way did he take offence.

thegirlwiththecurl · 28/10/2009 19:40

agree that your dd certainly didn't ask anything out of the ordinary for her age and either he was being a little silly or having an off day.
I have been asked several times by young children about the colour of my skin - am 1/2 indian in a pred. white area. No bother. Was asked once by a 7yr old 'why are you a Paki?'. Did take offense at that because of the language used, but that is clearly not what happened here.

morningpaper · 28/10/2009 19:40

haha @ his DD asking if you were fat

your DD sounds bright and curious and her questions are quite natural

Mamazonabroomstick · 28/10/2009 19:46

i think it was a fantastic opportunity to inform her about his religion and itsmore common traditions.

I don't think it unreasonable for a 4 year old to ask such questions at all.

littleducks · 28/10/2009 19:50

how many questions did your dd ask? did he get fed up with lots and lots?

saggyhairyarse · 28/10/2009 20:56

This is such an excellent sketch about people being offended:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAGJpISVERg

loobylu3 · 28/10/2009 21:10

I think your DD sounds really sweet. Maybe he has been bullied/ subjected to racist remarks in the past and it touched a raw nerve. I really wouldn't worry about it

HerBewitcheditude · 28/10/2009 21:25

It seems that it was the My Little Pony reference that offended him the most.

Maybe he just doesn't like My little pony?

edam · 28/10/2009 22:31

Fantastic link, saggy!

SolidGhoulBrass · 28/10/2009 22:51

That Steve Hughes bloke is brilliant.

And I'd shag him.

saggyhairyarse · 28/10/2009 23:16

An intelligent man with a sense of humour is an attractive thing! Embarrassingly, I used to fancy Ben Elton when he was on Friday/Saturday Night Live!

I love Steve Hughes too

edam · 28/10/2009 23:17

What, even with the trademark sparkly suit?

saggyhairyarse · 28/10/2009 23:23

LOL, I was attracted to his witty repertoire!

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