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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to actually consider a psychic to sort out my daughter's sudden fear of her room..

115 replies

brightongirldownunder · 19/10/2009 14:28

OK, I know I'm being a prat, but I'm at my wits end with this situation. Over the past 4 days DD refuses to sleep in her bedroom. She lies there with scared, wide eyes and tells me the windows have been rattling. It freaked me out too...
She'll happily play with her toys in there but as soon as she has to get into bed to lie down, she starts screaming.
She's 2.5 yrs old, with an extremely vivid imagination, but she normally loves her sleep and her bed.
Gaahhhh....I'm knackered.............

OP posts:

TheBlairSnitchProject · 19/10/2009 22:10

DH (who hasn't read much Discworld) came downstairs the other night after reading it again and said "you can't read him that! It's got throat cutting in it!"

Took me a while to work out he meant Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler

I still read it to DS he seems to like Foul Old Ron the best anyway.

Beanie4 · 19/10/2009 22:19

When DS was about 2.5 I was getting him ready for bed one night and he started to talk about 'the lady' in his room. He said she said 'DSSSSSS dont Cryyyyyy'. I thought was a deceased family member and didnt worry too much. Suddenly one night DS started screaming really disturbingly and this went on for about four nights. I began to think he was right and there was a presence there.

I rang my Dad for advice who freaked me out even more by saying dont go mad with the Holy Water as I might stir up some bad unwanted 'guests'. We were really at our wits end. I said some prayers and keep the bottle of Holy Water in his room with cruifix. After that night things calmed right down and he went to bed no problem from then on.

Who can tell? if only we could read our childrens minds! He might have seen someone on telly that freaked him out, overheard someone talking and picked up the wrong end of the stick. Their imaginations run riot at this age. All I know is I hope for all your sakes that there is peace at bedtime, its horrible to go through this

scottishmummy · 19/10/2009 22:27

unfortunately some quack will fleece you lots money if you daft enough. the cognition and emotion of 2yo is complex but gobble de gook isnt the answer

jaxxyj · 19/10/2009 22:34

spooky story-when my son was aged 7 he suddenly became scared of his room and the dark. He said "the boy from history" kept him awake. I didn't want to go there so I just tried to reasuure him he was safe etc. Anyways a few days later, a work colleague approached me and said she hoped i didn't mind her telling me this but she'd been to a spiritualist church and had a message for my son that the boy in his room was friendly and not to be scared! i hadnt told a soul - i was really freaked but of course didn't pass the message on.
at age 12 need still struggles occasionally with the dark, but no more tal of the boy than goodness!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 19/10/2009 22:42

Lol
do people really think their children are seeing ghosts?
imaginary friends and imaginary monsters people. Calling psychics just validates the fear that there is 'something' to be afraid of!

scottishmummy · 19/10/2009 22:46

calling a psychic empties your purse and confirms your belief in quacks

dopes nowt for toddler sleepless nights

scottishmummy · 19/10/2009 22:49

does nowt for toddler sleepless nights. dont let these quacks in your house.they will spin any contrived line

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 19/10/2009 22:55

and don't dope your toddler neither!

Hando · 19/10/2009 23:53

Why would anyone confirm childrens fears of monsters? Sounds like the best way to imbed those irrational fears rather than discussing and gradually making them realise they are not real. I really do not understand why somepeople do that sort of thing? Seriously "monster repellent"?!? That is just making things worse and prolonging the irrational fears stage!

My dd is 5 and has luckily never been afraid if the dark. We are honest and she knows that ghosts and monsters are not real. she is able to watch and enjoy programs like doctor who (which frightens some of her friends) without being scared or worried or having nightmares as she knows it's all fictional and just for fun.

Hando · 19/10/2009 23:58

Holy water and crucifix in a toddlers room? seriously. We are supposed to be the adults, we are supposed to be the ones who are adult enough to know what an irrational fear is. Imaginary friends are common lace for toddlers, chattering away and having teaparties with them. These are not "spirits" just an average childs mind developing and learning to make believe and develop characters.

pigsinmud · 20/10/2009 09:13

I suppose Hando that just comes down to one's personal beliefs. You might think it's an imaginary friend, others might think it's a spirit. Dd1's experience was in one room she never gave a name or played with her imaginary friend. She never talked to it.

I wouldn't do the Holy Water and cricifix thing - well I'm not a Christian so that would be very odd for me to do that!

3littlefrogs · 20/10/2009 09:18

We had ghosts in our house. I have always seen them, as has my mother. My children also see them. We had a particularly unpleasant one that refused to leave when asked nicely. I got a medium from our local spiritualist church to sort it out. He did not charge anything - if you ask someone from the local Christian Spritualist church they will not charge - they do not approve of mediums who do charge, generally.

3littlefrogs · 20/10/2009 09:20

BTW, I did not involve my child in the process - only to reassure her that he was gone, after all was done, while she was not in the house.

facebookaddict · 20/10/2009 09:25

Woah, really freaked out.

I've heard that eselle's monster spray mist does work for the irrational toddler night fears, but I think you should also consider what Singsong says and ask (?!) the ghosts to stay away (just in case). Don't let DD see you do this!

teameric · 20/10/2009 09:28

I have a very open mind about these things but I think your being a bit OTT, my DD is 3 and also has a very vivid imagination, last night she ran in to us crying saying there was a wolf in her bedroom, the night before it was a "creepy monster".
Strangley enough she suddenly only seems to see these things in her room at bedtime mmmmmmm

madamearcati · 20/10/2009 09:41

Despite my user name i have never come across any ghosts or spirits , but I know plenty of down to earth sensible people who claim to have experienced them.I think usually reassuring them that you mean them no harm seems to do the trick.
I think the monster spray bottle is a stupid idea though.It's just buying into his fear of monsters , reinforcing the idea that there is something to be afraid of.

Beanie4 · 20/10/2009 10:03

I forgot to say Brightongirl that YANBU. Do what you feel is best for your family. I did.

Thanks Schilke you're right, this does come down to my personal beliefs. Why shouldnt I have Holy Water and a cruifix in DS' bedroom I was trying to let the OP know she is NBU. I also have religious statues in my house due to beliefs. I didnt let DS know what I thought it was in his room.

DS also has 6 imaginary friends and in this instance I 'knew' it wasnt them.

I know a lady who thought her DD was possessed and although I didnt agree with her I accepted her belief ( completly different religion and beliefs to me ) and her method of freeing the 'spirit' in her childs body

Im sure with good intentions, you can do no harm

Emprexia · 20/10/2009 10:20

it may not be ghosts, it may just be norma house spirits, we all have them.. call em what you like, borrowers, fairies...etc

What i would do when DD is at nursery or out of her room is a simple little room cleanse -on top of a newspaper, set a blue candle. Surround with a circle of salt.
Burn a little sage in the room. Light the candle, making sure it won't tip over.
Close the door and let the candle burn down.
When finished, take newspaper, salt, and candle leaving and bury far from your home.

It should rid the place of any negative energy, then all you need to do is ask the spirits to please not disturb your daughters sleep and leave a sweet out overnight for them as a gift.

Morloth · 20/10/2009 10:27

I am 99% sure that there are no such thing as ghosts or spirits or monsters. But I don't know everything about the world and well, shit happens.

I think the monster spray (and the sword ) gives them a sense of power and lets them know that even if there is something there, that they don't need to be afraid.

TheBlairSnitchProject · 20/10/2009 10:41

I'm 99.9% sure that there are no such thing as ghosts. I'm an athiest, I don't do insubstantial beings in any form! But last night, after reading Singstar's post, while DH had DS in the bath, I found myself standing in DS's room asking that DS be allowed to sleep right through tonight please, no waking him up!

DS went to bed at 7.15 and got up....at 7.10am this morning!!! He didn't wake up once.

But - his nose is much less blocked this morning so maybe his cold has lifted and that's what let him sleep through.

Will see what happens tonight I suppose

LittleWhiteWereWolf · 20/10/2009 11:41

I'm a sceptical believer, so I would try both; ask whatevers in the room to let your DD get her sleep, but also do the practical things other posters suggest, such as making the windows stop rattling.

Callisto · 20/10/2009 11:56

I think there monsters, but they are generally in human form - Hitler, Josef Frizl, Jack the Ripper etc, etc. Whilst I don't want to terrify my DD, I also don't want her growing up thinking that the whole world is a lovely happy place where nothing bad ever happens. It's very difficult.

ZZZenAgain · 20/10/2009 12:05

Do the windows rattle? If so , can you fix that?

Can you play a CD of gentle music to help her drop off if it is the getting to sleep that is the problem? (Rather than waking up in the middle of the night because of the rattling)

I wouldn't bother with a psychic. I can
t help thinking a ghost would do things other than rattle the windows, but what do I know?

mrsmhaAARRrrket · 20/10/2009 12:11

will post later, singstar

colditz · 20/10/2009 12:13

You cannot remove a fear by telling someone the object of their fear does not exist.

I am scared of needles. I think perhaps a needle might break off inside me during a blood test.

All the qualified nurses in the world will not convince me that this cannot happen. It might.

So when I need to have a bllod test I extract a promise from the nurse. She has until a count of 60 to get that needle in, do her job, and get it out. If she hasn't done it by then, she will remove the needle. She WILL.

So what you need to do it not deconvince her of scary windows, but convince her of the power of something else to make the windows behave.

Firstly, Magic Putty. This is putty that you are going to fix around the windows to stop them rattling.

Secondly, Magic Spray. This will be a small spray bottle of water (plant mister too big for her to handle) that SHE can spray at the windows. MAke this fun.

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