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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to be considering taking ds (12) to the Holocaust exhibition at the Imperial War Museum

64 replies

preciouslillywhite · 15/10/2009 19:53

Ds (Y8) has been reading The Boy In Striped Pyjamas in his English class. He's asking me lots of questions about the Nazis and the extermination of the Jews.

Have never been to the exhibition, although I've intended to...never had the nerve -understand it's got a recommended minimum age of 14.

Ds is relatively sensitive and thoughtful, but not overly so imo.

...also he has said "it couldn't happen again, could it?"

...so do I tell him about Rwanda? Screbrenica (sp!)?

WWYD?take him- or leave it for a bit?

OP posts:
Cometrickortreatingwithme · 15/10/2009 19:56

I would take my son who is also 12 but he has also read the book and had a lot of questions.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/10/2009 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tethersend · 15/10/2009 19:59

I would call ahead and get advice from the education team at the imperial war museum- they are absolutely fantastic, and will advise you on this.

YANBU

MusterMix · 15/10/2009 19:59

it is pretty horrendous.
i had to walk past some

MusterMix · 15/10/2009 20:00

(and am ex history teacher so have seen a LOT of this stuff)

GypsyMoth · 15/10/2009 20:01

My dd went aged roughly 10. We went to the museum in general, them came to the holocaust part. She loves history and was fine with it. She's 15 now and going to visit aushwicz next week in a school trip. Am nervous for her, but got alot of good mn advice.

stickylittlefingers · 15/10/2009 20:03

Perhaps a more factual book to start off with? I remember having nightmares just seeing the pictures of all the bodies that the Nazis hadn't had time to bury before the Allies moved in, so I think I would have wanted the opportunity to "shut the book" to take it in, rather than be surrounded by it and feel perhaps a bit obligated to stay and look?

I don't think you're at all U, tho.

stickylittlefingers · 15/10/2009 20:05

P.S. especially if you have any relatives who were involved. It's very hard to stomach for an adult, let alone a little boy. Small doses are easier (tho obviously not a lot).

I'm just thinking he would probably hate to be sobbing in a public place, for example, which is a possible outcome if it's an information/emotion overload.

Restrainedrabbit · 15/10/2009 20:06

london.iwm.org.uk/server/show/ConWebDoc.1454THis is from the IWM website, they don't recommend the exhibition for the under 14s and no admittance for the under 11s.

There is a number to call at the bottom of the page to get further info.

francaghostohollywood · 15/10/2009 20:08

I haven't seen the exhibition, but it is a good idea to speak to the museum's staff.

By all means talk to him about Rwanda, Yugoslavia etc.

It's a good idea to show him books first, yes, I think I'd do that. If it were mine, if he still wanted to go after having gathered more information, I think I'd take him.

Original poster
preciouslillywhite · 15/10/2009 20:08

Thanks for all of these responses, very very helpful. Going to see it myself first is a very good idea- which I should've thought of myself

...as for books was thinking of maybe showing him Art Spiegelmans Maus (comic strip book about his father's experiences in pre war Poland- you know the one, where the jews are mice, nazis are cats...) but my bf thinks it would be too much

OP posts:
francaghostohollywood · 15/10/2009 20:12

Can I recommend this book? I read it when I was 12/13 and it's a great insight in the life of the Warsaw ghetto.

Goblinchild · 15/10/2009 20:13

My boy read Maus in Y8 and thought it explained how people felt and what happened very well. It also gives a broader understanding of the involvement of other nationalities such as many of the Poles.

famishedass · 15/10/2009 20:13

I've seen it and I wouldn't let my 12 year old go.

There was an old jewish man sitting on a bench, crying, when I went. Words can't describe how sad it is

throckenholt · 15/10/2009 20:14

I read Holocaust at about 12-13.

I think I would talk about it a lot with him before deciding. Reading about something is not the same thing as seeing photos and films of it.

redpanda · 15/10/2009 20:22

My ds is exactly the same age as yours and he also highly rated that book and is interested and knowledgeable in all things WW2 BUT I will wait until he is older before visiting. I think more maturity is called for. We live in South london so have visited the museum a few times and I have deliberately steered clear (but explained why).

Original poster
preciouslillywhite · 15/10/2009 20:34

sorry I was running up and downstairs so x-posted with a lot of replies!

Thanks so much, you've given me plenty to think about. I'll talk to him, and maybe give him Maus to read. In the meantime I'll go and see the exhibition myself, and think about taking him in a couple of years..

(thinking about it my own reaction is a problem. I last went to the IWM when I was pregnant with my dds and had to leave as started crying on just seeing word Kindertransport )

(will maybe leave it to his dad to take him instead, when he's a bit more mature!)

OP posts:
lovechoc · 15/10/2009 20:36

YANBU although I had a moment when in Munich of wanting to go to Dachau Memorial Site but DS is only 2yo so that would have been completely inappropriate. Will go again when on my own without DC around..

Best to get advice from the Museum staff IMHO.

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 20:51

I can actually say thats not true, the do allow under 11's ds1 is only just 11 and we took him 3 yrs or so again. He had read the book and asked about going.

wonderingwondering · 15/10/2009 20:55

The exhibition is very distressing, and I personally think 11 is too young. There are a lot of less graphic methods through which he could learn about the holocaust, books, films (Schindler's List?).

I think going straight to such an intense exhibit could be too much - regardless of age I think you need to build up to it, and fully understand what you are going to see. Even then it is terribly shocking.

choosyfloosy · 15/10/2009 21:00

Good grief not Schindler's List at that age, surely?

TBH I think the nearest I would go to this at 11 would be I Am David and perhaps Anne Frank's diary. But I don't have an 11-year-old yet.

choosyfloosy · 15/10/2009 21:04

I think Maus is quite problematic too (though excellent in many ways). It is very threatening, very adult, and IMO I do wonder about having the different species in the book. I would understand that as showing how the Nazis were thinking about other peoples, but since the whole story is based on everyone being of their own species, and you can recognise other species at a glance, I would want children to be a bit older before they read it. Text-only books at least allow you only to have the pictures in your head that you are old enough to create IYSWIM.

TheGreatScootini · 15/10/2009 21:06

It depends on your DS.I went to the Anne Frank Hus when I was about 9 in Amsterdam and found it very thought provoking (but then maybe that isnt as shocking as the exhibition at IWM, I havent seen it)

If you go with him and talk him through the exhibits etc, it might prove to be a really valuable experience for him?You can always walk past any really shocking images that you think might upset him?

Or if not, Anne Frank is a good way to acess the subject (the book obv, unless you can get to Amsterdam )

I think its great that you are making the effort to teach him about things like this.

Original poster
preciouslillywhite · 15/10/2009 21:14

GreatScootini- I tried him on Anne Frank a while ago, but he wasn't keen

(because it was about a girl is my guess- he's quite mature- but not that mature )

and floosy I get your point about Maus. I read it in my early 20s and found it more harrowing than any more general account because it was so personal. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing for a young kid...it gives it much more of a sense of immediacy and the sense that the people in the camps were people- just like us, iykwim...

OP posts:
Liskey · 15/10/2009 21:16

I was taken to visit Belsen concentration camp when 12/13 by my parents - driving to Germany to visit relatives at the time. Yes it was shocking and awful in some ways, but in another it really helped me to understand how we should never forget the people killed.

I think going to judge the exhibit sounds a good idea - wasn't there when we visited IWM last year - though I'd have cried at it as well.