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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that it's OK for DS (age12) to drink the remainder of his milk from his cereal bowl at breakfast?

84 replies

missismac · 15/10/2009 13:43

Dh thinks it disgusting, but I just can't back him up as it doesn't bother me a jot. However DD13 has also objected, and DH said to her "I know, I agree, but I can't do anything because Mum won't back me up". I'm questioning whether they're right and I'm wrong, as well as being annoyed that Dh phrased his reply like that.

I seem to recall that the French commonly had a bowl of hot choc for breakfast, I don't see this is any different?

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/10/2009 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ivykaty44 · 15/10/2009 13:48

Could he not pour the remaning milk into his breakfast mug?

The french have large mugs to eat and drink from so they have a handle and this then seems different.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/10/2009 13:50

YANBU. What else are you supposed to do with it?

Cies · 15/10/2009 13:50

Personally it doesn't bother me but I know many people who find this Not On.

TrillianSlasher · 15/10/2009 13:51

Yep, it's a waste otherwise.

Perhaps not in the dining room at the Ritza, but fine in your kitchen (waterproof floor I assume?).

But if you want your DH to back you up on things that you find disgusting but he doesn't mind (and I'm sure there are some) then pouring into mug seems like a good compromise.

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 15/10/2009 13:51

No it's rude - you don't see people sitting in cafes/restaurants doing it so therefore it's not the done thing.

notyummy · 15/10/2009 13:52

Rule in our house is if you want to do this then you pour it into a cup.

There are loads of good/bad manner rules in other societies and cultures that don't apply here, so we don't don't teach them to our children (i.e in China it is really good manners to slurp your food to show your appreciation, and no one bats an eyelid if you spit loudly in the street.)

When he goes to that big important business breakfast in 10 years time and shames himself by drinking from the bowl your DH will crow in triumph....

BrokkenHarted · 15/10/2009 13:52

It is not great 'manners' (whatever they are ) but i dont see what the big deal is at home as long as your son realises it is not something that would be commonly acceptable outside the hoome.

What i think you are BU about is not backing your DH up.

monkeyfeathers · 15/10/2009 13:52

I really don't see the problem with it. Drinking from a bowl might not be the height of table manners, but it's hardly disgusting. There are far more important things to worry about imo.

KEAWYED · 15/10/2009 13:53

Its about the only time my eldest gets milk (hes not keen)

I sometimes give him a straw to finish it off.

IN the grand scheme of things its not that bad

TheDevilEatsBabies · 15/10/2009 13:54

there's nothing wrong with it.
the milk will go to waste otherwise and he won't get the calcium.

yanbu

can you get him one of those french mugs that Ivykaty suggested?
we have something similar for soup and that would be a compromise.

overmydeadbody · 15/10/2009 13:54

Of course you are not wrong.

YANBU your DH is.

What is the alternative? To throw the milk away? That would be far more wrong imo.

As long as your DS doesn't do this when he is breakfasting with the Queen it really doesn't matter.

ParisFrog · 15/10/2009 13:55

The French do drink from bowls at breakfast - hot chocolate or coffee.

My parents were sticklers for good table manners but did allow us to finish the milk in the bowl and, if we had been good and polite, we were allowed to lick our plates clean when we'd had a really nice dinner! My mum just took it as a compliment.

Why is DD complaining? Is it really annoying for her or just a good excuse to complain?

hairyclaireyfairy · 15/10/2009 13:55

sounds perfectly reasonable to me

BrokkenHarted · 15/10/2009 13:56

"what else are you supposed to do with it?" comments...... use your spoon to drink it up!...

WurzelBoot · 15/10/2009 13:56

I don't have a problem with it as long as there was a vague understanding by him that it's not the best table manners and would not be approved of in the home of a future girlfriend/nice hotel/ breakfast with the queen, whatever.

I'm not much into table manners as long as everyone's happy, comfortable and have eaten, and as long as people know how to behave when they have to.

If my husband had said that though I probably would have donked him on the head with a breakfast spoon (not really) and refused sex for a week (again not really).

Merrylegs · 15/10/2009 13:56

YANBU!

It is a perfectly acceptable - indeed the ONLY way to finish up the milk from the cereal bowl. It's what you eat the cereal for. And much better a gentle 'slurp' then the clang clang clang of metal spoon in bowl.

Every fule knwo the last bit of milk is the best slurped straight from the bowl..

overmydeadbody · 15/10/2009 13:57

And you shouldn't have to back your DH up, whatever that means, if you don't agree.

Why is he not backing you up?

BrokkenHarted · 15/10/2009 13:59

It is easier for people to back their partner up when the partner is unhappy about something. It don't really make to much difference to OP to back her DH up so it should be her backing him up.

notyummy · 15/10/2009 13:59

You see I find licking plates and drinking from bowls and plates acceptable/cute in a 2 year old, but I would be MORTIFIED if I took an adolescent somewhere and they did that, or frankly if I was sitting down at home having a meal with them and they did it.

I am seriously not all Hyacinth Bucket/Daily Mail about most things, but surely some basic table manners mean you are equipping them to operate effectively in all sorts of places, and not allowing them to be really embarrassed later in life ?

Seona1973 · 15/10/2009 14:01

my dd got told off at nursery for doing this and was told it was 'bad manners'. We now pour leftover milk into their cups (as long as they have finished their fruit juice first!)

iwascyteenagewerewolf · 15/10/2009 14:02

I just don't see the problem with this. I do it when I'm at home and have never found it a barrier to normal living.

Surely with the kids the ages they are, it's acceptable for family members to disagree about such inconsequential things? It's not like he's eating his bogies at the table or anything.

WurzelBoot · 15/10/2009 14:05

Back up or not, the issue for me is discussing it that way in front of the children. That's a Dad siding with Daughter and pointing out that Mum's against them, and not opening for a sensible discussion etc. If he'd had said "I dislike it too." OK. If he'd have said "I think it's the noise that bothers me" OK. If he'd have said anything that didn't make it sound like it was all the mother's fault for it happening.

And like someone said, are you sure this isn't DD knowing Dad has a problem with this and giving a little stir?

BrokkenHarted · 15/10/2009 14:07

I agree with that too Wurzel I would have slapped the back of DH's head had he done that to me (away from eyes and ears of kids of course )

notyummy · 15/10/2009 14:07

In the great scheme of things, it really is nothing to worry about, I guess. As ever I find Mumsnet intriguing as it opens up completely different ways of thinking to me!

There will still be no bowl drinking in our house however!

At 2.5 dd learned to ask: 'In a cup now please mummy/daddy?' We'll just have to re-educate her if we go to a French household...

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