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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that at 8 a child should be able to tie their shoelaces??

96 replies

macdoodle · 15/10/2009 13:00

Am not sure about this one TBH??
My DD1 is just 8 and goes to Brownies with a group of 7-10 year olds (though most of them are 8 and over)!
On Tues she came home with a shoe made from paper and laces through it - and says they spent most of the hour "learning" to tie their shoelaces!

Really??? At 8 and older, do they need to be taught this skill in a formal setting - WTF are the parents doing - even in this day of velcro and slip ons, surely by 8 children can do this basic skill??

I was shocked and DD1 said she was bored silly - no surprise there....

So AIBU, am I expecting too much, and before you all shout SEN, there are no SEN children in this group!

OP posts:

Stigaloid · 15/10/2009 15:01

YANBU - i learned to do this when i was 3 FGS! We recently looked around a school for DS and i was shocked that they are only just learning to tie their shoelaces in year 2.

BobbingForPeachys · 15/10/2009 15:07

Mine have elastic alces onow (on ebay, fantastic things) becuase as they age shoes start to edge towards lacing- ds1 has asd and ds2 is being assesed for possible dyspraxia so shoe tyouing nt yet managed, I couldn't until ten either IIRC

cory · 15/10/2009 15:29

I was another undiagnosed case and still struggle with shoelaces tbh. Not lack of nagging from my mother: genuine incompetence on my side. Party dodgy joints, but have sometimes wondered if I am not mildly dyspraxic as well, and wonder the same about ds (9).

CristinaTheAstonishing · 15/10/2009 15:44

Stigaloid - at 3? Has it been a useful skill learning so early, apart from the obvious, keeping your shoes on?

Lucinera - no worries, not concerned at all about DS, just a bit exasperated. DH and I both tie laces in different ways, maybe he's a bit confused. Also a bit lazy.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/10/2009 15:52

Well, I could do my shoelaces long before I was 8, but my DS has just turned 11 and I shudder to think how he would do. We had a half-hearted attempt at learning, but all his shoes have been velcro.

MusterMix · 15/10/2009 15:53

god no

Bubbaluv · 15/10/2009 15:54

Haven't read all the thread, but we were certainly taught shoelace tieing in a formal school setting....but we were 4 years old and in pre-school!
At 9 we were braiding each others hair (remember the 80s?) and making friendship wristbands. I would have thought a basic bow would be pretty simple for children of that age group. I thought Brownies would learn to tie all sorts of useful knots, not just a bow!! Am shocked.

cory · 15/10/2009 16:05

A basic bow is easy enough if you have developed fine motor control. I hadn't by that age. I got nagged a lot and showed how to do it a lot. I just couldn't do it. Be as shocked as you like.

BrigitBigKnickers · 15/10/2009 16:19

Neither of mine could tie their shoelaces in year 3 despite many attempts to show them.

But I do think that there is less need to teach them these days as not many girls shoes have laces, even the trainers they have are largely velcro. Mine only had to learn for their tap and modern dance shoes.

Bubbaluv · 15/10/2009 16:21

I am now going to make a real effort to make sure DS always has at least 1 pair of laceups. Whoever thought tieing laces would be a dieing art!?

cory · 15/10/2009 16:24

If it is a dying art because some children can't do it age 8, then it was a dying art 37 years ago when I was 8.

NancyBotwin · 15/10/2009 16:24

Well I could at 6ish but this was long before Velcro had even been invented (or at least was used as a fastening on shoes!)

Ds1 is 8 and it was a real issue with getting him trainers recently - he has big feet and most of the ones in his size had laces but he wouldn't have them. Eventually found a velcro pair...

Podrick · 15/10/2009 16:25

Lots of kids in my dd's Y5 class can't do this so YABU

Stigaloid · 15/10/2009 16:27

Christina - i have no idea if it is a useful skill or not - probably although i don't wear many trainers now - growing up we only had laced shoes and the girl next door could do it at 3 and my mother being of the competitive nature would bring her round and go 'so and so can tie her shoes laces and she is the same age as you' so pretty much did the pushy mother/encouraging/competitive thing to get us going. Learnt pretty darn quick. I appreciate shoes these days have velcro on them but tying two hoops together shouldn't be too tricky for 3 or 4 year olds if they can do other crafty things such as thread bobbins, thread through holes in pictures etc etc.

kittywise · 15/10/2009 16:37

My eldest found it very hard to tie laces, at 11 he still struggles a bit. His younger brother learnt just by watching me teach the older one.
Some find it easy some less so, it has nothing to do with being able etc etc

cakeywakey · 15/10/2009 16:43

I'm 32 and I've never been able to tie my laces

Plenty of people have tried to show me how over the years, but I just can't seem to get the hang of it.

I still have trouble with right and left as well. I'm not stupid, my brain just seems to have a blind spot for these things.

Having said that, however, I've also been a Brownie leader and think that this is quite a strange activity to run with a pack. Not much fun IYKWIM. Ho hum.

MelonCauli · 15/10/2009 16:45

YABVU.

Ds age 8 can't do them but he is dyspraxic. He is still learning to use a knife and fork so shoe laces are at the bottom of the list. However I am sure my ds can do stuff your wonderful dd cannot do, such as reel off all the kings and queens since Richard III to present day.

Also as far as none of them having SN goes, most of ds' friends do not know he is dyspraxic so there may well be some SN you are not aware of.

Get over yourself and worry about something worthwhile.

Niecie · 15/10/2009 16:53

No YABU.

You and your DD may be able to tie shoelaces but why haven't either of you sewn on her badges (before the fleece got lost obviously)

I was sewing at 6 and had to sew on my own Brownie badges at 7 or 8. Surely you can manage a couple of badges? Only takes a minute. Do people not have basic sewing skills any more? Do they all rely on iron-on things. Lets hope they button sewing at Brownies next.

No idea when I learnt to tie my shoelaces but my dyspraxic 9 yr old has no hope of doing it and I haven't tried with my 6 yr old who is extremely resistent to learning and would be better off being taught formally at school where he wouldn't get bolshy.

Niecie · 15/10/2009 16:57

Meloncauli - my dyspraxic DS can reel off all the kings and queens since I don't know when as too! Obviously anybody who can't is very backward.

Inghouls2 · 15/10/2009 16:58

my dyspraxic 8.45 ds2 has no hope of tying his laces atm. It's a big enough ordeal sorting out the position of the socks, let alone the shoes

Inghouls2 · 15/10/2009 16:59

weird Niecie... so can mine

Niecie · 15/10/2009 17:02

Oh goodness, yes! Getting socks with the heel at the bottom and properly pulled up - that is a cause for celebration if it ever happens!

Obviously dyspraxic boys love history and have fantastic memories to compensate for their footrelated clothing failings!

MelonCauli · 15/10/2009 17:05

Blimey, what a lot of fantastic boys!! They'd have a ball if they got together. Imagine "What abttle in 1485 lead to the start of the Tudors?"

I have to say it bores me but I don't tell him.

I also agree that OP should learn to sew. How backward is that that she can't?

Niecie · 15/10/2009 17:15

I know the answer to that one - The Battle of Bosworth!

Had to help DS1 with his history topic last term!

It's amazing what you can learn when you don't have to bother about teaching shoelace tying.

I'm actually feeling quite sarky about this one - nobody knows my DS has dyspraxia either so whose to say half the Brownies don't too, or some other condition. Or maybe they just don't have laces in their shoes.

I can find more important things to be shocked about than a lack of shoelace tying skills.

MelonCauli · 15/10/2009 17:48

Well done - go to the top of the class!!

I know how you feel. This has really annoyed me.

Quote from OP "Really??? At 8 and older, do they need to be taught this skill in a formal setting - WTF are the parents doing - even in this day of velcro and slip ons, surely by 8 children can do this basic skill??"

Well, macdoodle, wtf are you doing nor sewing on your dd's badges? How dare you assume that it is all down to parenting? It is your type of ignorance that makes my ds's life harder. It's hard enough already.

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