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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that at 8 a child should be able to tie their shoelaces??

96 replies

macdoodle · 15/10/2009 13:00

Am not sure about this one TBH??
My DD1 is just 8 and goes to Brownies with a group of 7-10 year olds (though most of them are 8 and over)!
On Tues she came home with a shoe made from paper and laces through it - and says they spent most of the hour "learning" to tie their shoelaces!

Really??? At 8 and older, do they need to be taught this skill in a formal setting - WTF are the parents doing - even in this day of velcro and slip ons, surely by 8 children can do this basic skill??

I was shocked and DD1 said she was bored silly - no surprise there....

So AIBU, am I expecting too much, and before you all shout SEN, there are no SEN children in this group!

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 15/10/2009 13:20

SGM - he couldn't in YR2 - he can do it now. And yes we went over and over it. Also tried teaching DS2 (just gone into YR1) - he had the dexterity but it just wouldn't stick.

Manual dexterity not an issue with DS1, or hand eye co-ordination - he was just hopelessa t tying laces. Or if you mean his friend - no problems with either of those for him either.

I honestly don't think that velcro shoes are the issue. All of my friends at school when I was young had buckles or slip on shoes. So no laces then either.

I'd always thought I was much younger when I'd learned (and REMEMBERED) how to tie them - but my mum assures me I was older than I thought.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/10/2009 13:20

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BlurredBoundaries · 15/10/2009 13:21

Ds had to learn to do this during the summer hols as he had to have trainers with laces that he would be dealing with at his new school - he is just 8years.

He had to learn before I ordered his wii (which had been promised for other reasons - not for shoe laces) so was very motivated. Learnt within a few days but by the time term started, he had completely forgotten how to do them - as well as how do his tie

He now copes by keeping the shoe laces permenantly tied and just slipping his feet in and out.

At half way through the term, he has at long last got to grips with his tie again [yay]

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/10/2009 13:22

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BudaBones · 15/10/2009 13:22

DS is 8 and still can't do it.

RubyrubyrubysAScaryOldBint · 15/10/2009 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/10/2009 13:25

My dd is obviously not terribly G+T in the dexterity stakes either. Either me or Father Xmas got her a cardboard shoe with laces from ELC and practiced like mad when she was about 5, she really couldn't understand and I blame velcro. She had to learn a month ago though, she went on school camp and she had to wear hiking boots.

Lonicera · 15/10/2009 13:28

My 8 yr old doesn't gave any shoes with laces so no he can't tie them

LyraSilvertongue · 15/10/2009 13:32

DS1 has just learned and he turned 7 in the summer.
I didn't like any of the velcro school shoes so I bought him lace-up Kickers and gave him a crash course.
He's still not great at tying them tight enough to stay done up but he's improving.

islandofsodor · 15/10/2009 13:35

YABU. My dd could tie her laces at an early age but she dances and had laces on her jazz shoes.

Most children never come across laces as it is almost impossible to buy laced childrens shoes so unless you specifically go out and buy one of those learn to do laces things it is not something you automatically learn.

Original poster
macdoodle · 15/10/2009 13:39

Well thats not entirely true - my DD has a pair of laced trainers, a pair of laced heelies, 3 pairs of high tops - one converse, and 2 cheapies from asda/tesco - she doesnt like girlie/school shoes so this is her stable wear!
In fact most of her shoes are laced!

OP posts:
BarakObamasTransitVan · 15/10/2009 13:40

I'm 36 and I still can't tie my laces properly

MrsJohnDeere · 15/10/2009 13:41

LOL I'm 37 and still can't do it. I'm hoping ds1 will learn soon and then teach me.

islandofsodor · 15/10/2009 13:51

That must be unusial though. Dd has 1 pair of school shoes, 1 pair of Doodles and 1 pair of Clarks trainers.

We can't afford designer or fashion shoes.

foxinsocks · 15/10/2009 13:55

neither of mine can (age 8 and 9) though the 9 year old has been trying to do it recently

you should see the U8 football games on a Saturday. Not only is the ref the ref but also chief shoe lace tie-er during the game!

Original poster
macdoodle · 15/10/2009 14:10

those are all of DD's shoes - not a designer in sight other than converse which were a birthday present - the heelies were a xmas present from my sister!
The trainers and high tops are all asda/tesco!
oh she has a pair of cheap falling apart slip ons from brantano - I think they were £10!
Her feet are too broad and she hates clarks/doodles!
These are not hard to find nor expensive shoes!
I tell a lie actually - she has a pair of sketchers (velcro) - they were supposed to be her school shoes!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 15/10/2009 14:16

IME it is definitely not unusual for an 8yo to not yet be able to tie shoelaces. They just don't get the practise.

Unless parents do it as a very deliberate exercise they just don't learn to do it. And TBH when you have everything else to fit in, it is easy to keep putting it to one side.

IMO it is good that places like Brownies will do these.

If your daughter was bored than yes, that is an issue there - but that could easily be sorted. Many young girls love helping, beng able to demonstrate to others, etc. so Brownies could have had her doing this - or another task. I am suprised she'd be the on;y 7-10 year old who can do it.

My DD is 7y6m and can tie shoelaces - just. They are still a bit loose and she can only do it using two loops to tie together, not the "proper" way. She learnt last month. She had to have some trainers for school and the ones most suitable were lace ups - so we sent a few minutes each night in the week leading up to school and she had it sorted.

She could, however, tie a necktie, at the age of 4y6m. Why? Because she practised it so much through school.

IME often boys master laces frst as things like football boots have them.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 15/10/2009 14:20

What Brownies group was that? Do they take boys, nearly 10 year olds at that? (He can tie his laces but it's painful to watch him and they come undone within 5 minutes.)

Lonicera · 15/10/2009 14:23

Agree with hula. My 10 yr old is very proficient at laces now as he has football boots and lace up school shoes. When the time comes, I'm confident my 8 yr old will learn without too much of a problem, but it's really not something I've bothered with ATM

Lonicera · 15/10/2009 14:25

Oops xposted with Cristina sorry wasn't comparing 10 yr olds

Seeline · 15/10/2009 14:25

My Ds nearly 8, had to learn to tie his shoe laces as part of his Bronze Award at Beavers before he goes to Cubs. He has no lace-up shoes. Some of the boys at football have laces on their football bootts, and I spend ages tying them all for them as none of them can. Children just don't come into contact with laces at this age any more. Having helped with a Brownie pack for many years, I can confirm that this is exactly the type of activity ideal ofr Brownies. They will probably move on to learning how to tie basic knots. I would not call Brownies a 'formal setting'. It's fun!!

piscesmoon · 15/10/2009 14:29

They are all different. DS1 couldn't do it until he was 9yrs-despite being shown/helped umpteen times. DS2 and 3 had no problems and could do it in the infants.

thedollshouse · 15/10/2009 14:38

I have dyspraxia and I most certainly couldn't tie my shoes at 8. I still can't tie them the convential way, I have my own way of doing it the downside being that they only stay tied for about 5 minutes before coming undone.

I've lost count of the amount of times people stop me in the street to tell me that my laces are undone, I would love to see the look on their faces if I told them that the grand age of 37 I have not quite mastered the skill!

thedollshouse · 15/10/2009 14:40

Oh and Macdoodle you can't know for sure that they do not have any special needs. I don't tell most people that I have dyspraxia and as a child I didn't even have a diagnosis.

lolapoppins · 15/10/2009 14:41

Tbh its not something I have thought about but then we live in the arse end of nowhere and our main footwear is wellies.