to think that the only thing more irritating than a pg woman who refuses to alter her lifestyle at all is...

[OracleInaCoracle]

a pg woman who has suffered a mc and refuses to change her lifestyle at all during pg?

now, I'm aware that I may get flamed for this and that I may be over sensitive on this subject but I know someone who is almost 30w pg. she has continued to smoke, drink and take drugs throughout her pg, when i expressed surprise she said "i don't see why i should change my life at all". while this annoys me, I save my rants for the safety of my own home and dh's exhausted sympathetic ears. was chatting to her the other day and she mentioned that she has previously had a mc. i was gobsmacked.

i tend to put a lot of upsetting/insensitive comments down to ignorance and bite my tongue an awful lot.

so, AIBU?

I have a family friend whose daughter has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder (she's adopted). It's devastating socially, academically, emotionally. She really struggles in general but especially at school, both with making friends and keeping up in class. Once you've seen the consequences, it's hard to imagine that you'd go there with booze etc.

imsonottelling- you refer to "usually backed up by one lucky person who was able to just "stop"."

I was able to just stop, but it wasn't because I was lucky, it was because I couldn't believe my luck at being pregnant at 35 and was utterly terrified of anything happening to my unborn baby. I missed smoking like mad and went cold turkey after 17 years on 20-30 a day. Every time I saw a friend who smoked, I felt massive pangs and urges to smoke, but I didn't. Nothing to do with "luck", I just think some mothers say its too hard to do. The baby should come first and that's that.

And if people don't stop? It's not just cigarettes there is a huge range of things that people do which can be harmful.

It's not an ideal world - what happens to the people who don't? That's the thing - it's all very well saying how awful it is - but what can actually be done about it?

imsonottelling, i dont think there is anything that can actually be done in those situations. people will always say "never did me/my siblings/my dc any harm" i am another person who totally changed my lifestyle when pg, i worked in a pub/restaurant. everyone i worked with smoked, drank like fish and took the odd drug. i missed it. but persevered because i didnt buy into the arguments and knew that not everyone gets lucky.