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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send my son to nursery all day so I can see dd harverst assembly in peace.

57 replies

happyharry · 13/10/2009 12:23

My 3 years old goes to afternoon nursery but we have the option of wraparound care. My dd goes to same school and they are having a Harvest assembly. Planning to send him to school all day so I can concentrate on my olders childs harvest assembly.

OP posts:
MilkNoPoisonPlease · 13/10/2009 13:22

Yanbu!

having worked in a school and been there during the harvest festical, from a "backstage" perspective, the parents who hadnt brought their youngest child, were able to sit and watch and enjoy their child and class, whereas the parents with 2/3 yr olds to keep entertained and quiet, well half left about 10 minutes in and the others were so frazzled they couldnt enjoy it!!

Although if your leaving your child at nursery rather then taking them there, clearly social services must be called...bad mother!

Leave youngest at nursery...go...enjoy it!

MrsBadger · 13/10/2009 13:23

don;t worry, notyummy, I think a lot of us are on there

Bramshott · 13/10/2009 13:24

20 minutes??? Whose Harvest Festival is 20 minutes - if so, I want to come! DD's school is a good hour . . .

alwayslookingforanswers · 13/10/2009 13:25

do it, and then go and have a coffee on your own afterwards(I would ) to make the most of a bit of extra child free time

MilkNoPoisonPlease · 13/10/2009 13:28

Ooh no alwayslooking, she cant go and have a COFFEE! she must rush straight back to the nursery and collect hew yougest, and let him know he was not forgotten mummy loves him and explain the reasons she "bothered" having children!

daftpunk · 13/10/2009 13:28

it's all about what you can and cannot cope with...i can cope quite easily with a 3 yr old....but then i've just got on with it...

megapixels · 13/10/2009 13:31

Ours is around 20 minutes, at a push it could stretch to 30 mins max. Dd1's is tomorrow and no young children are allowed (they are very strict about that, one mum was made to watch from outside when she brought her 3 year old son last year ). Glad it's a pre-school day for dd2 or dh would have had to take the day off. Would have loved to take her as she'd enjoy it and I can count on her to watch quietly. Go for it OP and enjoy the show.

alwayslookingforanswers · 13/10/2009 13:31

oh trust me - I can cope very well with a 3yr old - well I can cope with a 2.4yr old next to me on the organ stool while playing for a service .

However, I prefer to go and watch my older children, not spend 75% of my attention on keeping the younger ones under control.

Honestly - if you still have pre-schoolers you should try it some time - the difference between having a young child with you while watching school assemblies etc and not having them with you is extremely refreshing.

CaptainNancy · 13/10/2009 13:33

My 3yo would love to see a harvest assembly, and could certainly sit through 20 minutes of amazing, eye-opening, awesome fun (in her eyes!)... if it were a 18mo I could see it, but a 3yo?

It doesn't make you a bad mum if you do it though- your older child might be the type who is craving one-to-one attention from you, and would be upset if you had the 3yo on your knee when it's her big assembly, in which case definitely do it.

TheFoosa · 13/10/2009 13:35

yanbu

am very about 20 mins harvest festival

ours are a over an hour and utterly tedious with it

Hulababy · 13/10/2009 13:37

Well done you daftpunk! What a fab mum you must be.

FWIW I can cope with a 3 year old old. I imagine the OP can perfectly well too. However, what is so wrong with wanting to spend 20 minutes focusing on her elder child wthout the distraction of a younger one?

And yes, some 3y may enjoy the Harvest Festival. Amd yes some 3yo may be happy to sit for 20 minutes on a lap. But maybe not all - it is very normal for a 3y to want to be up and active. So, some might find the assembly less interesting and find the sitting less easy. Doesn't mean they are abnormal or their parents incapable

Original poster
happyharry · 13/10/2009 13:38

The other thing I didn't say is that by taking my son to nursery he will probably get to participate in the Harvest assembly too. Generally he is good but he does still throw the odd tantrum and I would of course have to leave if he did that.

Incidently daft punk I do normally just get on with it. For the last 2 years I have taken my ds with me on my own to all dd's school events.

OP posts:
redsofas · 13/10/2009 13:44

daftpunk i cannot believe what i am reading do you honestly believe this would make her a 'bad mum?' jesus christ you must be perfection in all its glory then!!!! op its a great idea i would do it! and if anything it makes you a 'good mum' for doing it for your eldest! oh and coping with a 3yo has nothing to do with this because a 3yo WOULD NEED entertaining at a harvest festival assembly if it lasted more than 10 mins or so they'd get bored/distracted/thirsty/talk too loud/need the loo ect......
all fine but not apprechiated by an older sibling at thier assembly!

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 13:46

YANBU. There's something wrong with it. I've no doubt that the three year old will have more fun at nursery than he will at the assembly.

deaddei · 13/10/2009 13:50

I would say sod the festival and go shopping .
No I wouldn't of course, i think watching it on your own is a great idea!!

francaghostohollywood · 13/10/2009 13:50

YANBU.
Incidentally, I live in a country where 3 yrs old are at nursery for free from 9 to 3.30.
What a country of evil, undeserving, morally disgusting parents!!!

invlanderen · 13/10/2009 13:57

I think it´s important to give your undivided attention to each child as often as possible. It´s not necessary to do everything as a whole family unit all the time..

weaselbudge · 13/10/2009 14:03

Hmmm so if leaving child at nursery for one extra session makes someone a bad parent, what about all those working mums/dads out there! FwiW, i've just arranged to leave ds with a childminder just so i can do voluntary work for one day a week (to keep my CV up as can't get part time work).. and during the trial session this morning, I had a pedicure .

alwayslookingforanswers · 13/10/2009 14:07

I love looking after my kids and doing stuff with them

I love it even more when someone takes my children off my hands for a bit (especially when it's free) so I can do stuff on my own

gloiredemonpere · 13/10/2009 14:10

Whats the matter with DaftPunk did you get out of bed the wrong side today? (You are being v.dogmatic and really not right about this. OP should leave DS at nurseyr if all are happy tis only one day. She is not leaving him with a complete stranger and flouncing off to "lunch,shop,botox drink bubbly wth the wags" why so vitriolic Dafty?

TheHeadlessWombat · 13/10/2009 14:13

Actually that's quite normal for DP.

Morloth · 13/10/2009 14:14

Snort I have arranged extra nursery sessions so I could go out for lunch or have a nap.

YANBU, your DD will appreciate having your full attention!

You will have fun, she will have fun and DS will have fun. Can't see any downsides myself.

EdgarAllenPoo · 13/10/2009 14:14

some people park their 3yos elsewhere just so they can >shock< work DP...

i hardly think one afternoon will kill them

itsmeolord · 13/10/2009 14:19

How many kids do you have and what ages are they DP?

op - YANBU.

dutchmanswife · 13/10/2009 14:21

Morloth - I've done the same, even had a glass of wine with lunch as well. I'm a terrible mother