Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want be told 'I Love You' every 5 mins

34 replies

worldgonemad72 · 13/10/2009 11:04

Hi all

I probably am being unreasonable but its really brassing me off.

I Love my dh and we tell each other every day BUT he is driving me mad, last nite he kept looking at me all doe eyed saying 'love you' im trying watch TV fgs lol. It just seems be taking the specialness away, i dont want tell him as it would hurt his feelings, i might do it to him when he is watching something see how he likes it!

OP posts:
ChairmumMiaow · 13/10/2009 11:05

I can see your point but I could really do with some of that right now

Try to enjoy it.

roulade · 13/10/2009 11:07

YANBU it's enough to put anyone off!

Original poster
worldgonemad72 · 13/10/2009 11:15

Sorry chairmummiaow, hugs yr way, i do love him telling me just not literally every 5 mins when im watchin americas next top model (sad i know), i guess i would be complaining if he didn't tell me at all.

OP posts:
Chrysanthemum5 · 13/10/2009 11:16

Oh dear, I suspect I am like your DH! I grew up never being told I was loved (I don't blame mum for that, it wasn't her nature and she was too busy working to provide for us) so I say it all the time to DH and DCs! So, YABU because I don't want to have to stop, but i can see how you might find it annoying,

Original poster
worldgonemad72 · 13/10/2009 11:23

Chrysanthemum5 ive never thought of it that way, dh was neglected as a child and ended up living with his nan and grandad, he does say often that his upbringing was hard so i guess he just wants a close and loving family, thanks for that insight i'll just say i love you back and give him a cuddle. i honestly never put the two together.

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 13/10/2009 11:23

If he's saying it every 5 minutes while you are watching a TV show, then I'd be worried that it doesn't mean "I love you" as much as "Pay attention to me".

Kirbo · 13/10/2009 11:24

My DH does this and I have to politely tell him that he doesn't need to tell me all the time. I think it does hurt his feeling a little bit but when you are drying your hair, changing a nappy, hanging out clothes etc it gets a bit OTT. It would be horrible for him not to say it and I guess I just take it for granted now which isn't very good on my side. Maybe there is no pleasing me

diddl · 13/10/2009 11:38

We tell each other once a day-as he leaves for work.

It´s enough for us.

TBH, if my husband started telling me more, I´d think he had something to hide.

claw3 · 13/10/2009 11:43

That would drive me nuts too! DP is the same and wants to know why i dont say it back. In the words of Bill Sikes from Oliver 'Of course i love ya, i bloody live with you dont I

Original poster
worldgonemad72 · 13/10/2009 11:50

lol claw 3, i'll start practising the accent so i can say it to him later.

OP posts:
Poledra · 13/10/2009 11:52

I think you do start to take it for granted after a while. My DH isn't that verbally demonstrative, so when he does tell me he loves me, it sets me up with a warm glow

TrickOrNinks · 13/10/2009 11:57

Oh dear. Is he a feathery-strokey man too?

It would drive me insane I must say, there is a time and a place and it is not every five minutes.

Sunfleurs · 13/10/2009 12:41

Yuk! The only time this is acceptable is in the first 6 months of a relationship. After that just get on with it please.

YouSaidWHAT · 13/10/2009 12:54

my boyfriend says it so much he might as well be saying "do you want a slice of toast" its that often it has lost its meaning. he doesnt even say it in a special way either grr...

Iklboo · 13/10/2009 12:59

What's he done? Check if your favourite ornament/plate/dress has been ruined

Seriously, every few minutes is a bit much though

ErikaMaye · 13/10/2009 13:01

I think you are BU, but then we're one of those soppy couples Admittedly I'm worse, but he's catching up We don't do it every few minutes, though... And whenever it is said its meant. I love being told I'm loved, and telling other people - especially DP - that I love them.

McDie79 · 13/10/2009 13:02

Trickorninks-'feathery stroker',thought I was the only one who said that,none of my friends read Marian Keyes!!!
OP-my DH says it all the time when in a good mood,agree is annoying sometimes esp when in the middle of a good book

Original poster
worldgonemad72 · 13/10/2009 13:09

Hi all
ive checked an i cant find anything he's broken or ruined lol, its not every nite he's like that, we normally tell each other about 3 or 4 times a day, but some nights he can get a bit much, usually after a bad day at work. Trickornicks he is a touchy feely person too, i once bought a backscratcher to prod him once in a while to keep him happy lol

OP posts:
6feetundertheGroundhogs · 13/10/2009 13:14

Sticks head in.

Looks about.

Runs screaming from building...

mrsjammi · 13/10/2009 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ParisFrog · 13/10/2009 13:49

I love Marian Keyes too!!

My DP says "I love you" a lot more than I say it to him. Sometimes it grates but I would rather he said it than me hurting his feelings by asking him to stop.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 13/10/2009 15:02

I could have written that post, walking us the road with dh today he said it, a bit further up the same (quite short street) he said it again I know I am probably being ungrateful and I do love hearing it but he does over do it a bit.
He is also very feely and usually it's ok but sometimes it drives me mad, it is so hard to walk comfortably pushing a buggy with someone wrapping themselves around you dateline advert style.

I do love him though and it is nice to feel so loved but I have a 3 year old that spends the day clamped to my leg and when he lets go it's sometimes nice just to not be touched.

ABetaDad · 13/10/2009 15:08

Well I think we say I love you about twice a day but it is our limit.

WHAT on earth is a 'feathery-strokey man' pray tell!

notanumber · 13/10/2009 16:15

I found the following definition:

"The term feathery-stroker is used to describe a gentle, right-on man, who strokes you in a gentle, loving feathery way. Like the sound of him? Hmmm, well, unfortunately this kind of man is not for everybody. Indeed, if he eats quinoa and does tantric pilates and campaigns against I-pods, you might find him utterly revolting."

on Marion Keyes' website

MrsJiggle86 · 13/10/2009 16:17

YANBU my dh did this to me a couple of weeks ago and i ended up telling him to shut up but he got the message, he still does it just not as much, its enjoyable when he says it now