to be annoyed at the way Stephen Gatley's husband is being referred to in the press

[Dragonfly73]

I saw the sad news that Stephen Gately had died. I was never a fan of the music but i think it is always terribly sad when someone so young passes away. I do remember being quite impressed with him when he "came out" as he had a lot to lose by way of screaming teenage fans etc.

Anyway, was just watching the BBC and they kept referring to his husband as his "civil partner".

Am i being unreasonable to be a bit enraged by this? They had a commitment ceremony and as soon as they were legally able to formed a civil partnership under the law. My DH and I had a civil wedding with no religious overtones at all. If i were to die tomorrow would anyone call him anything less than my husband or my widower?

It just seemed to me that by referring to him as his "civil partner" they were diminishing the relationship somehow and making it distinct from a "normal" marriage partnership. Would it so offend BBC viewers to recognize the man as his husband.

Anyway, i am interested in peoples thoughts. Depending on how it goes i may just write the BBC a strongly worded letter!

But, has been pointed out, they did refer to each other as husband slowreading.

Why not in context of this thread? Most threads here evolve and move on fom the original op, it is what makes threads interesting!

That is an interesting article - and exactly what I think which is always nice

So, essentially the rights and responsibilities are the same, the effect on the couple is the same but the major difference is that it is written as a new bit of law rather than extending the current law (which I understand was, mostly, to keep the old school brigade quiet)?

Well, that makes me feel even more strongly that all couples who make a legal commitment to each other in this fashion should be accepte to have the right to use "married" "husband" "wife" as they see fit - should they wish to of course!

thing is, most people it seems to me use 'husband' or partner interchangeably anyway depending on their preference, which btw I do not have any kind of problem with, I am making the point that media like BBC are with terms like this operating with the reality of the legal terms.

The civil partners thing became a talking point in my DS reception class and he came home telling me that men could marry men and that his friend wanted to be 'Several Partners' with him.....It'll always be 'Several Partners' to me anyway

I read long term partner which was fine for me to realise that he was with the one he loved. Perhaps it should have said civil partner then I would have known it was another male as I wasn't sure if he was gay or straight, what does it matter.

Husband is male, wife is female and I'm not sure this is the right way to express same sex relationships. Anyway I feel for his partner and family, such a young age to go.

But, DailyMail Why are the opinions of the 'old school brigade' (by that, I take it you mean those who regard marriage as a religious construct) less important than anyone else's opinions?

I am not of the 'old school brigade' personally, btw, being neither a Christian (or, in fact, a follower of any religion) nor a traditionalist.

OH and I had a civil marriage ceremony. If Christians regard that as less of a marriage, it really doesn't concern me. To us, it was vitally important to make vows to each other in front of our friends and family, within the context of a legal contract and I couldn't care less what others think it does or doesn't mean.

Witcheseve, so do you mean those in a same sex partnership are not male and female? I am confused about what you mean by your post TBH!

Olifin, it was a concession made to get it through the house of lords as I understand it - I was trying to be circumspect with old school brigade and TBH I do think that truely bigotted views deserve less consideration than others. Things like the house of lords... well that is a different thread really!

DMC, I hadn't thought about this until this thread. Not sure how same sex marriages are referred to since civil partnerships have been recognised. Husbands for males and wifes for females. Maybe there should be a standard.

I'm not that bothered just feel for his loved ones as anyone would for a life lost too soon. Can imagine that Stephens lover isn't bothered about the status the press has given him atm.

Would like to see a standard set. So am agreeing with the OP.

RIP. Wow! husband/wife/partner what does it matter to the likes of us. His lover lost his lover. The media will always come up with their own ideas. Here we go again what's flippin PC. Why can't people just be lovers?

Oh so you were meaning would eg a male male couple call themselves husband husband or husband wife?
Actually that thought hadn't occured to me (well not for official use anyway) I have to admit I had just thought of the malemale husbandhusband and femalefemale wifewife option... I suppose it is one of the options though!

Would you expect your mum and dad (for example) to call themselves each others lovers rather than husband/wife sixer?

Oh, did wonder whom you were aiming for, it wasn't clear. To your question, I'd be more than happt to hear my parents referring to each other as lovers. That's what the are. Why, arn't/weren't your parents lovers?

i'm off to have a good nights sleep!

Lol - yes, I can just imagine it "ok, I will just pop indoors and ask my lover what she thinks of your double glazing" I suppose it could catch on