To Keep my children in the cellar away from people and sunlight??

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I don't want the sun rays to harm them and as most of society are peadophiles i thought this would be the best option


[DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT SERIARSE]

[ErikaMaye]

I couldn't bend down to eat them if I tried - my SPD has flared up because of the BLOODY DOG!!!!

[paisleyleaf]

I remember that comedian Emo Philips saying that his parents used to tell him "Emo, don't go through the cellar door". But one day he did. And he saw sky, and birds and trees.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Paisley lol

i need a cage for ds2 he is wrecking the living room..

[ErikaMaye]

I have a spare lead from my dog if that would be of any use. Or a hamster cage...

[groundhogs]

LadyE? You got any more room in your cellar?

..just rescued small flock of pigeons..

poor little things, they were being terrorised by a couple of toddlers....

[freename]

That reminds me I need to order the daffodil bulbs.

[HowlingAtTheMoon]

Groundhog have the pigeons been CRB checked?

[mummygirl]

Riven how nice of you doing that... without even having to be asked. You are one of society's fine examples.

I take mine out of the loft only on friday evenings, take them to a pizza restaurant and make sure they're all unruly and annoying to other customers. Once they have fulfilled their life role, back in the loft they go

[phoebeophelia]

I might do this with my children too.

More to protect the public from them though.

[ErikaMaye]

Mmm I want pizza now...

[HowlingAtTheMoon]

Would you like to borrow my two Erika, they make quite a lot of noise so should disturb a few people.

[ErikaMaye]

You have talking pizzas?

I'll borrow your two if you have my pregnancy for the next six weeks. Oh, and if you could just give birth for me too...

[HowlingAtTheMoon]

Nooooh I had SPD too and sciatica and carpel tunnel - had to wear a big belly bolster and metal straps on my wrists, it was great fun.

[ErikaMaye]

But my crutches and belt are soooo sexy. You know you want to.

[Stayingscarygirl]

TLES - how about I have ds2 here for you? He could go in the puppy cage with ddog. She might even share her pressed hide chew and her squeaky toys....

Then we can put ds1 in the shed with my dses, and you and I can put our feet up on the couch and get plastered discuss who should form the next government over a nice cup of tea!

[LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune]

Cellar! You obviously dont love your children enough if you are going to keep them in the cellar. Mine are contained in an octahedron shaped container made out of the wool of virgin sheep which only graze on organic grass in the hills of the Andes.

[ErikaMaye]

Staying, I think we should form the next government...

[Stayingscarygirl]

Absolutely right, Erika! Which ministerial post would you like? I fancy having a crack at Transport - 'cos then I'd be dh's boss - mwahhh ha ha ha ha!!!!!

[ErikaMaye]

I fancy health. I'd have some fun with that one...

Could you make me exempt from train fares, please?

[Stayingscarygirl]

Of course, consider it done. Actually, I think government ministers get some sort of little bronze badge or disc thingy that entitles them to free first class travel.

In return, please could you put nurses back in proper uniforms? With skirts and white aprons and caps.

[ErikaMaye]

Sorted. Do you reckon this is how they really make decisions?

[Stayingscarygirl]

Yes - and then they spend the rest of the time drinking G&T tea, rogering the secretaries and fiddling their expenses!

[ErikaMaye]

Sounds like we'd be fab at it then.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Ohh I have a 60ft cellar i need to fill it with urchins children so they are shoulder to shoulder before they all realise the loveeeeeeeee

[Stayingscarygirl]

I can send you mine, TLES - they are just cluttering the place up here.

Does that mean you want the Education Minister's job?