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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Male childcare worker at DD preschool

50 replies

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 20:30

DD started preschool 2 mornings a week recently. There is a man who works there - when we went to look around the manager drew to our attention that there was a male member of staff working with the children.

AIBU to be really pleased that there are adults of both genders working with the children in this setting, and that it's a bit sad that they felt that they had to point it out to us when we were having a look.

OP posts:

Tombliboobs · 04/10/2009 20:33

YANBu, for being pleased that they have a mix of genders, but maybe they only pointed it out as they were pleased that they had a male member of staff, as it is so difficult to recruit men in to the profession.

claw3 · 04/10/2009 20:34

Definitely sad, my ds went to a nursery school with a male teacher, one of the best teachers i have encountered ever.

deaddei · 04/10/2009 20:36

When I saw this I thought it was going to be another bloody thread about paedophiles...thank goodness it isn't!

islandofsodor · 04/10/2009 20:36

I think they probably pointed it out as being a plus.

We recently had to get a deputy dance/drama teacher in for our early years classes and one of the mums (of a girl) commented on how nice it was for them to have a male for a change.

bluebump · 04/10/2009 20:37

YANBU, my DS has a team leader in his baby room at nursery and he is great.

TheGreatPumpkinPudding · 04/10/2009 20:37

YANBU. Given the current "all men are paedos in disguise" hysteria, it is very sad but understandable that they would make you aware of him.

funtimewincies · 04/10/2009 20:38

Oh dear. I too would be very pleased, but a sorry sign of the times that they felt they had to head off any trouble .

I know a few male primary teachers who've been viewed with suspicion, with comments along the lines of 'why would he want to do that job unless there was something funny'.

Er...because they are extremely good at it, enjoy it immensely and it allows a greater balance of teaching styles in a school?

Original poster

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 20:41

Tombliboobs and islandofsodor - the tone of voice and way she put it was as if she was expecting a sharp intake of breath and a worry, rather than being proud and pointing out a big bonus. I definitely don't think I misunderstood why she was telling us - her tone was a bit like she was delivering bad news IYSWIM, and hoped it wouldn't change our minds.

I did wonder if anyone had decided not to send their DC their when they were told

OP posts:

LauraIngallsWilder · 04/10/2009 20:41

My dds nursery class has been taught by a man for the past 10+ years - he is loved and adored by all the children who have been at the school - favourite teacher for loads of the children

But yes when we had 'the tour' yes they did point out his gender - but in a very positive way

PandaG · 04/10/2009 20:42

fantastic! I work in a preschool and we had 2 male work experience students in before the summer. The children and the lads loved it. I just wish we could have a male working regularly in the preschool

FABIsInTraining · 04/10/2009 20:42

They probably pointed him out as there would be some people who would have a problem with him being there.

malfoy · 04/10/2009 20:45

It is sad that so few men work with young children.

My DS loved it when there was the very occasional male careworker at his nursery.

At his primary school there is only one male teacher. The only other men are the caretaker and the PE coaches.

honeybehappy · 04/10/2009 20:46

I have to say and i know i will probably be slated but when we went round to look at nurseries for dd1 the first one we saw was smallish and only had 4 staff and one was male and i was quite shocked at my own reaction. i just didnt feel comfortable with it, however i think it was because i was very worried about her going to nursery (PFB) as i had never left her in 3 years with anyone except family and also the man had special needs and i felt the minder to child ratios wasnt satisfactory.But i can honestly say i wouldnt care now she has been at nursery nearly 2 years and im totally comfortable with leaving her with all the staff.

mummyhill · 04/10/2009 20:47

DS's Nurseery had a male nursery officer and all the kids loved it. He really enjoyed the work and was great with kids and parents. I think it is a shame that there aren't more males in this line of work as it gives a positive balanced image for the children to see both sexes looking after them.

honeybehappy · 04/10/2009 20:48

oh god that sounds awful i just meant if there was an emergency i didnt think there was enoght staff to cover all angles IYSWIM

weegiemum · 04/10/2009 20:49

My ds had a male teacher in Primary 2 last year - he was just Faaaaaaabulous, and so right for a class of 5/6 year olds.

Did hear some mums at the gate question his sexual orientation though, which I found very sad.

It is a total plus for me, I would actively choose an establishment which had both genders working there.

mankymummymoo · 04/10/2009 20:54

my DS had a male nursery carer and he was totally and universally loved by all the kids (he is fantastic though!), its such a massive shame more blokes dont go in for the profession, it gives a really nice balance.

hannahsaunt · 04/10/2009 20:54

Our nursery has quite a lot of men working at it in different capacities as the mum of boys have found it fabulous - they respond differently, the interact differently and bring a rounding to the world experience. Completely love it and would highly recommend.

pigletmania · 04/10/2009 21:00

YANBU it is fantastic that there are, why not, some boys and girls might not have male role models at home where there are single parent families. i hate it that all males seem to be branded as paedophiles on here just because they play innocent games with children or sit them on their knee to read them stories.

Portofino · 04/10/2009 21:03

There was young guy started work at dd's nursery. I was a little shocked i guess, as I never imagined it as a career track for men really! But those are my sad pre-conceptions - I had a stern word with myself!. The kids loved him. I have a dd, but i can imagine it must be great for boys to have someone a bit more rough and tumble. And hey for the girls too.

Why not? Why is it that (by default) we imagine that men shouldn't actively want to look after small children?

moomaa · 04/10/2009 21:04

SardineQueen I recenty had the exact same experience (and am now wondering if we share a preschool).

I was with you, saw it as a plus, especially if there are little ones that don't see their Dad much. Sadly, I have had 3 seperate parents comment on it to me in a negative tone this month so some parents obviously don't like it. I didn't ask them directly why they felt like that, just said I didn't mind.

5inthetomb · 04/10/2009 21:05

YANBU, I think there are not enough men in these job roles.

DS1 and DS2 both had/have a male teacher for their reception year, and he is one of the best teachers I have met. He is like a local celebrity, the kids go crazy whenever they see him out and about.

It's like male midwives, not enough of those either.

nannynick · 04/10/2009 21:12

Why did they need to point it out? Maybe they were proud of the fact that they were such a good preschool that a male childcarer had decided to work there (us male childcarers can be a bit picky about who we work for).

It is sad though that they felt the need to point it out.

Original poster

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 21:12

The silly thing with the school teaching is that the men who do go into it are far more likely to end up running the show (why that might be is anotehr thread!).

moomaa I'm in north london...

It is really heartening to read on here how many people do have/have had male carers/teachers - I read a thing the other day which made it seem that there were only about 2 people working with small children in the whole country!

I agree it is nice for the boys, for children who have dads as main or equal carers at home, for those who don't have a man at home... so everyone really

Having said all that, I wouldn't be at all sure about a male midwife...

OP posts:

JustAnotherManicMummy · 04/10/2009 21:17

I think the only circumstance to draw attention to his gender would be if he looked like this

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