to be extremely surprised and yes, annoyed, at this school gate conversation I had today?

[moodlumthehoodlum]

Father of child in ds' reception year. Not a friend of ds, don't know the father's name, just don't know them..

Asks me if I would help out with picking his dd up from school (sometimes they have half days) and 'having her until the evening' as he finds it difficult to change his work patterns, and his wife doesn't drive.

He doesn't know my name. He doesn't know where we live. Our children aren't remotely friends, and yet he is perfectly happy to ask me to pick his dd up and look after her for hours?

This is surely weird on several counts..

1. That he is prepared to let a complete stranger look after his dd

1. That he didn't really give me much choice in the matter, because he'd heard that I was "always around" ie I don't appear to work

I completely get the whole swapping of childcare at the school gate, and amongst dd's friends' mothers we have arrangements that of course if someone is working or late or whatever we'll all pitch in and help out. But this, from a stranger, albeit with a child in ds' year, is completely bonkers, and a bit weird. I'm happy to help, but seriously I think this is extremely cheeky..

Or, aibu? MN, its over to you..

how odd. no way would i do anything like that myself or go along with it

my friend who is a CM was once approached doing school drop off on a friday by someone she had never seen before, to say would she have this womans 4 month old for the WHOLE WEEKEND so she could go away for the weekend with her DH/DP

• friend said no, obviously!

Is he really a brain surgeon? (I don't mean that in a 'you're lying' sort of way, but in a 'you're kidding???!!! way). I think he fancies you too - that was my first thought in fact.

Very very strange, as are some of the other experiences on this thread.

What a cheeky sod he is?!

Are you sure he hasn't got you muddled up with another Mum? (as in his wife said "oh ask X, you know... Y's Mum. She said she can help out if we need her" and then MrBrainSurgeon, being a bit clueless when it comes to knowing anyone at the school gates, has asked you by mistake??)

yikes. If he mentions it again I would laugh then when he doesn't join in say "Oh jeez, I thought you were joking". Get out clause for many a situation (particularly as you didn't say much in reply originally).

. I get the impression some people (not on here but irl) think SAHMs are 'unemployable' and need to be kept busy, as opposed to people who have decided to sacrifice their careers a while to look after their children [pink polishes chip on shoulder].

I wondered whether he had the wrong mum too?

Did he get your contact details?

I have visions of you ending up with his child overnight because he does no know where you live to collect her

Could you not offer to drop the child home instead?

Or could you arrange for your child to go to a friends for lunch so you have the excuse of not being at the school so you can't have his child.

I would say given the rules and CRB checks that come with looking after another child you can't do it.

I cant believe you have said yes. Hope now you have had time to think about it, you will be saying no.

Actually I think I'm with multivac.

I assume the guy doesn't really know any other parents, and also doesn't know how these things work in your circle. It's great that you and the other schoolgate mothers (no dads?) are all friends but perhaps he and his dw aren't as fortunate?

Sure it's a bit odd to ask a stranger to look after your dc like that, and the "always around" thing isn't very tactful.

I also think NorbertDentressangle's theory has a lot going for it. Perhaps she said "ask notmoodlum, she's always around", because notmoodlum is always around.

This thread has cheered me right up! Thanks.

Oh, and you're SO NBU

Glad to be of cheering up service

I'm certain he didn't get the wrong mum, because my feeling is that he just asked anyone, and I'd parked next to him.

Don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for him in terms of not having a support network that can pick up occasionally at obscure times, and I would always try and include people who are slightly on the fringes, IYKWIM.. But, what I have difficulty with is that in a million years I wouldn't ask anyone to look after dd or ds when I didn't even know their name, or even vaguely where they lived.

I don't really know anyone at DS' school at the moment, and arguably, because I'm 'always around' (I do work btw, as a MNer freelancer ) I don't need to ask anyone else to pick him up, but even if I did, I'd make official arrangements with a cm or distant relative, or something rather than a random conversation with someone in the playground.

It made me sad for his dd tbh.

He is deffo a brain surgeon. DS' teacher confirmed this.. I didn't get the fancying vibe either. He needed a solution to his childcare and I parked next to him. Simple.. And he didn't offer payment. The only thing he did offer was to pick his dd up in the evening..

Am at some of the stories on here though.

Next time you see him I would tell him that you won't be able to look after his daughter as you are busy both afternoons after school.

If they were an improverished struggling to make ends meet I might feel sorry for them but as a brain surgeon they can easily afford to pay for after school care which is exactly what they should be doing rather than scrounging off strangers.

There is a parent (mother, as it happens) at DS's school who will/does happily palm her DC off on anyone who doesn't dodge fast enough. I can easily imagine her doing exactly what the OP describes.

Fair enough (well, apart from her complete lack of tact or manners) if it was mutual but TBH no-one wants their DC to go to her as she does not appear to believe that children should be supervised/fed/set limits, and (as a result, quite possibly) her DC are a nightmare, and if your DC were supposed to be picked up by her you would be left wondering if she had bothered to turn up (her DC are regular unscheduled attendees at after school care when she is 20/40/60 mins late to pick them up).

stealthsquiggle - there's someone just like the mother you describe at ds's school. She's never asked me though, which I'm strangely offended by. Should I be worried? Or just grateful?

Grateful. And careful

Tell him you're a rocket scientist and much too busy

love that link!

YANBU - the cheek of him!