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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh I do hope I haven't - I really hope what I did was reasonable

26 replies

Norton · 02/10/2009 20:50

I manage a small nursery

One of my children has been 'diagnosed' with suspected meningitis - in hospital & being treated with antibiotics as a precaution until the test results come back.

The hospital will be phoning me in the morning to chat about 'what I need to tell the parents'

So I phoned all my parents & told them the facts as I knew them.

I didn't think I could chance a child getting ill over night without their parents being aware of the risk

Was I being unreasonable?

I am scared I might have worried people unnecessarily

OP posts:
FromGirders · 02/10/2009 20:52

I'm a CM - I'd have done the same. Couldn't have slept for worry otherwise.

nickytwotimes · 02/10/2009 20:52

Yanbu.
Best to err on the side of caution when it come to other people's kids.
Hopefully it is not meningitis and all will be well, but you did the right thing, yes.

TrickorTreatTrunkThighs · 02/10/2009 20:53

No, YWNBU

I would MUCH rather know to be on my guard overnight. You've done the right thing. You can update them all in the morning.

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED · 02/10/2009 20:54

You did the right thing.

If it is meningitis the parents wouldn't have thanked you for not telling them.

Frrrightattendant · 02/10/2009 20:54

You did absolutely the right thing.

I wish everyone was as conscientious as you.

Well done and I hope the child will be O.K.

Imisssleeping · 02/10/2009 20:54

Yes you will have worried people, but not unnecessarily.

I would much rather know.

If something did happen overnight and you hadn't informed the parents just think how you would feel.

So don't worry I think you did the right thing

fandango75 · 02/10/2009 20:56

no you did exactly the right thing i would expect our nursery to do the same

chubbymummy · 02/10/2009 21:04

My close friends lost their 18 month old son to Meningitis. He had none of the symptoms you hear so much and became ill very quickly, 4 hours later he was gone so no you are very definatly not being unreasonable!

Original poster
Norton · 02/10/2009 21:04

Should I mention to the hospital how lost & unsure I felt this evening making this decision?

I feel they should have spoken to me this evening

OP posts:
chaostrulyreigns · 02/10/2009 21:05

no YANBU

would rather know and watch out for the symptoms than miss something critical then find out someone could have tipped me off.

you are obviously very responsible

well done you

Jux · 02/10/2009 21:06

You did the right thing. My dd is now 10, but I wouldn't have been at all happy if you'd been her nursery teacher and acted otherwise.

Hope all the children are OK.

Seuss · 02/10/2009 21:10

yanbu. i agree they should have spoken to you this evening and perhaps you should mention it when you speak to them.

chubbymummy · 02/10/2009 21:13

The hospital may not have been able to speak to you this evening Norton, they may still be unsure what they are dealing with as Meningitis isn't that easy to diagnose -hence the reason why you hear so many stories of children being sent home from the Doctors/Hospital/Walk-in-Centre only to die later. I think it is fantastic that they have warned you about the possibility of Meningitis before they have even confirmed it, better to frighten people and potentially save lives than do nothing and regret it forever!

hugmeandcatchthelurgi · 02/10/2009 21:14

As a parent I would rather know.

You did the right thing.

HappyInTheCity · 02/10/2009 21:14

I do your job too. You have done the right thing. No question. When you have more info, you can share that too.
Imagine if something had happened to another child overnight...... Dreadful.

Hope the small is ok

flowerlady2 · 02/10/2009 21:16

Nope, totally reasonable and totally responsible, trust your own judgement; you did absolutely the right thing

theslightlypeckishcaterpillar · 02/10/2009 21:16

YANBU.

It was the responsible thing to do and I'm sure all the parents are grateful that you took the time to tell them.

Hope they are all ok.

stonethecrows · 02/10/2009 21:31

Think you did the right thing.

But , hope you didn't tell the parents which child it was. My youngest was in hospital with suspected meningitis, and suddenly I had several parents of DDs siblings phoning for information....definitely not what I needed at the time.

However, YANBU for letting them know of general situation.

theDeadPirateRoberts · 02/10/2009 21:35

YANBU at all. I'd rather be worried and wrong than oblivious and, well, ...

busybutterfly · 02/10/2009 23:03

YANBU. Well done for doing that - far better to be safe than sorry.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 03/10/2009 12:17

YANBU
my friend's niece died last week of suspected meningitis. She was sick on weds, they took her to GP, worse on thurs, by night she was in intensive care and died on friday. If they had an inkling that it could have been meningitis (no rash or obvious symptoms) they would have taken her straight to hospital and who knows if she would have died or not. They had no reason to think that the vomiting was anything serious.

diedandgonetodevon · 03/10/2009 12:21

Definitely the right call to make.
If it was my son, I would want to know. I'd rather have to keep an eye on him just in case than to not know and miss something.

Original poster
Norton · 03/10/2009 17:26

Fortunately little one is fine - has been released from hospital & meningitis is no longer suspected

I phoned around again & everyone is standing down.

Thanks for the reassurance

OP posts:
girlsyearapart · 03/10/2009 17:32

yanbu and well done on thinking for yourself and doing what was the right thing.

Many others wouldn't. Glad the dc is ok now.

kat that is so sad. How old was she?
hope your friend is holding up, and obviously her parents.

It's just your worst nightmare isn't it..

aristocat · 03/10/2009 17:32

good news.....you made the right choice by telling everyone. If you looked after one of my DCs i would be very grateful to you for your honesty.