to think that if DH wants a packed lunch it should be him getting up earlier, not me?

[Simplistica]

He started a new job last week, and for some reason I've ended up in the role of getting up 30 mnutes earlier on days he has to be in earlier to make lunch etc (I do make the children's lunches also).

And I am waking every 30 minutes from about 5 in a panic that it has got too late because he won't let me set the bloody alarm clock (won't show me how- strange digital thing) in case it wakes him

I'm studying evenings, so am getting up earlier plus feeding baby at night, then trying to concentrate on studies later, whilst he gets to lie in every day.

[MamaGoblin]

Sounds like you're carrying the entire household and he's calling all of the shots - and you're letting him! The noticeboard is a good-ish idea, if it works and he sticks to it - but again, it's you making the running here, isn't it? Why shouldn't he realise his adult, family responsibilities and make up his own timetable?

As for the lunches, I'd just tell him that from today, he's on his own. If he won't 'let' you use the alarm to wake earlier, but still expects a lunch made, then he's being controlling and very unreasonable - almost setting you up to fail, really. I do wonder at his motives... Just tell him you have plenty to do already and you've had enough, he can make his own or buy it.

[Simplistica]

Nionedragons I know he seems bad on here bt he's not, he'sactually pretty gppdas a norm and in ten years (8 on mn) this my first aibu about him- it's a cse of everything shifting and trying to find new roles when truth be told there's too much for both of us to do. I'm proud that he'sgone bac to Uni, after losing his job and everything else, it'simportant to go after goals- doesn'tchange theworkload though and he needs to see that.

The noticeboard willmostly help I think by organising me so I can generally make things flow better: am forever losing things or forgetting stuff and I will feel better if that doesn't happen- less time spent chasing my tail,more with a coffee / asleep perhaps?

He did come out and say later that he's going to speak to someone from ateam he's on and cut his commitment down as he can't manage so much- he never volunteered for ti but things went wrong and the needs upped and stayed there iyswim. So, progress I hope! One evening a week is fine, keeps us btoh sane tbh- he goes and has fun (not pub or anything like that- but too specific to explain LOL) and I sit with a glass and a recording of Holby- brain dead time.