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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone want to come and pass judgement on a longish tale about dh's birthday present to me?

58 replies

bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:09

So it was my birthday yesterday. One of my presents from dh was in an envelope ... tickets to go and see a band I really like! . Hooray, how fab.

But then (get this) he says "Sorry, I can't come that night, I'm working ... but you can get a friend to go with you".

So it means I will first of all have to ask around among my friends and see if someone wants to come with me (which I kind of doubt as this band is one of those "guilty pleasures" kind of outfits, they are a bit of an acquired taste and not everybody loves them).

Then book a babysitter to come at 5.30pm and feed the children as well as getting them to bed.

Get myself to Hammersmith (more than an hour's journey involving a bus and overland train and a tube).

And do the same in reverse on the way back from the gig, possibly on my own, depending on which friend I go with.

AIBU to think this is not actually a great present?

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 30/09/2009 13:10

Would be furious myself.

hanaflowerhatestheDM · 30/09/2009 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JackBauer · 30/09/2009 13:13

I'd be pissed off, but DH would do that and not think about the hassle it would cause so he might not have realised that it isn't 'a night off'

Can he really not get a night off just this once?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/09/2009 13:18

YANBU - that is not a good present.

Carrotfly · 30/09/2009 13:21

A night out without the kids ?

Lovely present !

I'll come

Rindercella · 30/09/2009 13:21

YANBI. I would be just a tad pissed off about that. Surely tickets as a present mean that you both go and that he gets to treat you to dinner when you're out?

itsmeolord · 30/09/2009 13:21

Why would anyone be furious??

He got you a present he thought you'd like, the date was probably the only one left available.
Ask him to pay for a cab to and from the overland station.

YABU.

Sourdough · 30/09/2009 13:29

Sorry, YABU.
If my DH even remembered my birthday I'd be overjoyed. So he can't come with you, but it was still a thoughtful gift. You even like the band!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 30/09/2009 13:31

This is the sort of thing my DH used to do. Just not thinking it through .......

I can see why you are a bit miffed, but I think he should get points for trying

Who's the band ?

Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:32

I think he should get points. I would be delighted with concert tickets and it might be that they were only playing one night or that was what was left.

Now, who are the band?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:35

No, I'm not furious. But I think it is a lazy present. He saw this band were doing a gig (a one-off) went to book tickets and then realised he was working that night. He is a freelance tv journalist and if he cancels this job having said yes to it then there is always the worry that they'll be reluctant to book him again.

I don't expect him to cancel work on my behalf (we can't afford it!) but I did expect him to make the effort to find a better present.

DH says that as we often do things apart (true) I wouldn't mind. But my argument is that going to cinema/theatre/gigs is a rare treat for us and we NEVER go on our own to big things like that so why would I want to start now?

Our marriage is in severe special measures anyway and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable because he's just not my favourite person at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:36

Oh, cross-posted. You really want to know the band?

OP posts:
Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:36

A better present than a concert ticket? Is there such a thing?

Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:37

T'Pau?
Black Lace?
Buck's Fizz?
Shalamar?

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:38

I think he's tried to get something really thoughtful, but not thought through the practicalities.

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:39

It's Chaz n Dave, innit?

Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:40

Banananananananananarama?
Kajagoogoo?
Slade?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:42

Chaz n Dave have split, you iz so behind the times hully. One of them (I think Dave) is too depressed to carry on after the death of his wife .

OP posts:
hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:43

The times they have achanged. Actually, I DID know (so there), but thought maybe they'd got back together for a one-off.

Black Sabbath
Iron Maiden
Death Thrash Metal Head

Jamieandhismagictorch · 30/09/2009 13:44

Ladies, we're all showing our ages ...

Spandau Ballet ....

Sorry to hear about your marriage probs bibbity.

FimboFortunaFeet · 30/09/2009 13:44

Mott the Hoople??

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:47

Vera Lynn

Oh no...It's Cliff, isn't it?

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:48

Aled Jones

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 30/09/2009 13:48

I think it's boyzone.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:48

When we were first together he even came to a David Essex concert with me! double and that was long after DE had ceased to be a teenage heartthrob. The audience was full of 30 something mums with their daughters. And dh who took it all in good cheer - actually he got those tickets as a freebie when he worked for Capital Radio, now I come to think of it.

OP posts: