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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone want to come and pass judgement on a longish tale about dh's birthday present to me?

58 replies

bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:09

So it was my birthday yesterday. One of my presents from dh was in an envelope ... tickets to go and see a band I really like! . Hooray, how fab.

But then (get this) he says "Sorry, I can't come that night, I'm working ... but you can get a friend to go with you".

So it means I will first of all have to ask around among my friends and see if someone wants to come with me (which I kind of doubt as this band is one of those "guilty pleasures" kind of outfits, they are a bit of an acquired taste and not everybody loves them).

Then book a babysitter to come at 5.30pm and feed the children as well as getting them to bed.

Get myself to Hammersmith (more than an hour's journey involving a bus and overland train and a tube).

And do the same in reverse on the way back from the gig, possibly on my own, depending on which friend I go with.

AIBU to think this is not actually a great present?

OP posts:
Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:49

Ag ag ag ag ag not Cliff.

OP posts:
Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:51

The Proclaimers?
The Nolans?
Alice Cooper?

I am not looking at the listings I promise

FimboFortunaFeet · 30/09/2009 13:52

Neither was I

(never heard of Mott the Hoople)

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:52

David Essex...dear lord.

David Cassidy

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:53

Des O Connor

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:53

One of yours, eyeballls. Not the coolest, not the naffest, but the twinniest.

OP posts:
hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:54

Not surprised he's working....

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 13:56
  • my cheeks are honestly a little red
OP posts:
Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 13:57

Sings:

And Ay woooood walk fayve hundred mailes....

Apologies for extremely shite and possibly offensive attempt at Scottish accent.

thesecondcoming · 30/09/2009 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hullygully · 30/09/2009 13:58

I thought it was rather good. Are you wearing outsize specs as well?

FimboFortunaFeet · 30/09/2009 13:59

Bibbity - I would come with you. Love The Proclaimers, as does dh. But then we are Scottish.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 14:01

Arm an ma way fram mis er ee ta ha' penis tedday, uh hah uh hah uh hah uh hah, arm an ma way ... etc

OP posts:
Thread · 30/09/2009 14:02

ha' penis?

Half a penis?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/09/2009 14:05

happiness

OP posts:
Eyeballls · 30/09/2009 14:08

LOL, you'll have a great time I like them and they are good for a sing along so the atmos will be great.

Now, wtf does haver mean?

Kewcumber · 30/09/2009 14:09

I live near Hammersmith - I'll come with you!

squeaver · 30/09/2009 14:17

If this was my my dh (which it would never be - waaaay too imaginative) I would think "good effort" tbh.

He's realised it's something you'd like to do and actually booked the tickets (again waaaaay too organised for my dh).

Did he know he was working before or after he booked them?

It's just classic male not thinking it through behaviour.

hullygully · 30/09/2009 14:20

Does he only have half a penis, btw?

BulletProofMum · 30/09/2009 14:22

BBH - just wanted to say that you were born on a great day - it was my bday yesterday as well. I'm a 1972 edition.

Also my mums and grnadfathers.

DH bought me a voucher for a massage at a spa. I' was happy with that and he's not invited!

carocaro · 30/09/2009 14:28

Count yourself lucky you actually got a gift!

I've had F'ALL 3 years in a row!

Jumente · 30/09/2009 14:29

Well, Bibbity...my take on it is this.

You said your marriage is not going great.

This present sounds like he had NO IDEA what to get you, because of the way things are - you know when you are trying to find a rpesent that says 'I care about you' without it carrying some other loaded thing...

however it does sound as though it emphasises the differences between you iyswim

It's good he tried to get you something you'd like, but the fact it was something YOU like without being something HE likes says to me that he is not sure what would be the right way to approach this birthday.

The ideal present is one that reflects the shared things - something both of you like. If you get something only YOU like it feels impersonal, if it's something THEY like but you can't stand, that's not great either!

I repeatedly got things from my family that I hated...it depressed me so I asked them if we could not do adult presents at all any more, after all everything I got them, they hated too

FourArms · 30/09/2009 14:52

When DS2 was 6m old DH bought me tickets to a musical in London for Christmas. Great present, but:
a) We lived in Cornwall at the time
b) DS2 was exclusively bf so no chance of leaving the DSs at home
c) He booked the tickets at 12:35am on Christmas Day (showed on print out), so was v.last minute thought
d) It was a musical he wanted to see.. not me!

So I ended up having to arrange accomodation for DH, MIL, DSs and me for the weekend. MIL had to take time off work to come with us. The plan was that she'd babysit whilst we went out. In the end, DS2 got a chest infection that w/e, and I couldn't bear to leave him for 5 hours (we were staying in Windsor), so MIL went with DH. All in all, an expensive completely rubbish present. I had to sit in and watch Casualty with an M&S ready meal whilst they went out for the night.

So I'd say YANBU to be upset that it's not the perfect present, but do try and go and make the best of it.

brimfull · 30/09/2009 15:08

god fourarms-that is shit!

pigletmania · 30/09/2009 15:28

oooh I love Aled JOnes, when to one of his concerts in Northampton. YANBU, he should have booked a date where both of you could go togher,whats the point in that present. I would be fuming at that totally unreasonable on his part.