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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to keep their children relatively quiet in a pizza restaurant...?

433 replies

confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 21:41

I have just got back from a pizza (Planet Pizza in Bristol in case anyone's wondering) and me and DH were driven bonkers by the number of overexcited shrieking childen in there (we got there just before 7pm.)

I am not against children in restaurants, and I realise this is a pizza place rather than the Ivy, but I do object to them charging about and shouting where there are people there with no dc's (like myself.) I realise that some noise is to be expected and I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with the same children running about, shouting and crawling around under tables. Am I being unreasonable by getting a) pissed off and b) wishing they were someplace else so I could eat my pizza in peace...?

Lastly, while I was tempted to go over and ask some of the parents to get their children to keep it down a bit, I did chicken out and hoped they'd realise the kids were too noisey themselves (they didn't.)

OP posts:
argento · 27/09/2009 22:18

I wouldn't assume 7pm on a sunday is prime time for rowdy children in restaurants either - 1pm on sunday in a family friendly pub then yes.

kalo12 · 27/09/2009 22:19

yabu. if you don't like it you are free to go somewhere else or do something else but to complain on a parenting website is ridiculous, and seems a bit controlling. I would like all parents to treat their children like i do, infact i would like all people to have the same values as me, but expecting that and dictating that would be completely unreasonable of course.

early evening at planet pizza - i'd say that was made for shrieking over excited kids

teamcullen · 27/09/2009 22:20

Its one thing to have toddlers wandering around or a baby crying. It a completly different story to have 2,3,4 or more children running around knocking into other peoples tables, shouting and screaming.

I dont have perfect DCs and we dont have a table to sit around for meals at home (due to space) but they have never been allowed to carry on like that in any kind of restaurant.

One time when DD was 5 and DS was 2 we were in a buffet style chinese, DS bit his finger instead of his chicken wing and nearly screamed the place down. WE calmed him down and he was fine.

Shortly after a couple in their 50s was leaving the restaurant and they stopped at our table to tell us it was a pleasure to eat in the same restaurant as our DCs as they were so well behaved.

Children need to learn what is socially acceptable in different places, family restaurants are a good place to teach children how to enjoy meals in public, parent should not take the piss and let them run riot.

Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:22

I'm with you with that one too! I am also not saying bar all kids from restaurants after 4pm, but I think that parents do need to consider some of the non-parents who might be there (it was a big table of people with the majority of the kids, and then some parents at the back had their kids joining in too - maybe I should have said this earier. I know this as I was looking over when wondering who to speak to about the noise.)

OP posts:
ChunkyMonkeysMum · 27/09/2009 22:24

At 7pm on a Sunday night, my 5 (almost 6) year old is also in bed !!

Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:24

Thank you teamcullen! It seems the majority of the YABU responses I am getting in this are related to the fact that I am not yet a parent.

OP posts:
gerontius · 27/09/2009 22:25

Yes, complaining on a parenting website about badly behaved children is ridiculous.
It's not unreasonable to expect people to control their children in restaurants if it's impacting on your evening.

skymoo · 27/09/2009 22:26

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I went to Pizza Express in Greenwich recently with my two, and given that we don't (can't afford to) go out for meals normally, this was a real treat for us. I didn't expect it to be on a par with MacDonalds to be honest.

Family with one young toddler on the table next to us, seemed oblivious to the fact that their sprog was scraping the chair on the wooden floor - most annoying.

Perhaps I have a low intolerance of these sort of people as when I went to a curry house with dp, we were subjected to a family celebration on the table next to us = my scowling face must have been on all their photos!

cheesesarnie · 27/09/2009 22:27

i didnt say it was because you dont have dc,i just think yabu.

Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:31

I think the scraping of the chair on the floor would have annoyed me too skymoo but maybe it's something you don't really notice if you have DC's of your own (in my case, not, obviously, yours.) While children should be allowed to be children etc etc I do think that learning a bit of consideration never goes amiss. However, this is not the 'fault' of the children but instead the parents.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 27/09/2009 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:40

At my old work (Montessori nursery) we used to have a huge emphasis on being aware of other people and their feelings (or the result of your potential behaviour on their feelings) and it worked really well. Perhaps
it's 'easy' for me to bang on as I don't have DC's yet (maybe if I did I'd be ranting on about how someone ought to go and eat elsewhere on a Sunday evening...) but I think consideration is something that is good to instill.

Personally, I'd hate for my DC's to be annoying others to that extent when I was out (or is this something that would change if I had them? I hope not!)

OP posts:
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 27/09/2009 22:45

Re Hassled: "A strange number of childless people seem to have just randomly stumbled across MN today." There are several conception threads for would be Mum's on MumsNet, you are allowed in without kids you know!

I don't think its unreasonable to expect parents to at least attempt to ensure that their children behave when eating out.

But I don't have kids, so what would I know...

teamcullen · 27/09/2009 22:45

Its simple, if kids start to get a bit noisy, you have to tell them to quieten down. If they are getting up and down to much and start to run around, you tell them to sit down.

Kids are expected to do this in school from the age of 3. They know when they can use their "outside voices" there is no reason why they cant keep noise levels down in restaurants.

I understand that they can forget and get excited, expecially when they are in a large group but parent do need to take control and have respect

skymoo · 27/09/2009 22:47

Couldn't agree more confused! When my kids were little, I would have been conscious of other patrons and not allowed them to be disruptive...not that you can do much with toddlers but the chair scraping thing irritated the hell out me.

Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:49

Hurrah! I am very pleased I am not alone!

OP posts:
Original poster
confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 22:52

And yorkshireteadrinker thanks for pointing out that there are conception threads so us non-mums are surely 'allowed' too...

OP posts:
spicemonster · 27/09/2009 22:52

I went to my local pizza express the other day and was shocked to see a couple of notices on pillars and the loo doors asking parents to please not allow their children to run around as it's dangerous and that from now on, bicycles, scooters and rollerblades are not allowed. I was that anyone would allow their children to ride their bikes around a bloody restaurant but then this is North London so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

YANBU in the slightest. My DS is sometimes noisy (he's only 2) but I do not allow him to run around.

Quattrocento · 27/09/2009 22:54

YANBU. Awful when parents allow children to run around restaurants. "He's so active, you see."

Active is as active does. Teaching children table manners is hard work. I don't blame parents for opting out of it. Bit much though, to take them out to restaurants if they haven't been table-trained.

navyeyelasH · 27/09/2009 23:04

I live in Bristol and if you go to planet pizza on Glos Rd before 8.30pm you're asking for it IMO. It's the football table thing they have in there, children love it!

carocaro · 27/09/2009 23:12

Their parents were probably beyond exhausted after a long day and lack of sleep and probably had lost the will by 7pm and they had probably told them to stop 1,000 times.

However I would not have taken my kids is they were knackered or hyper.

navyeyelasH · 27/09/2009 23:20

PS next time go to pizza express in clifton. Of better yet Hotel du Vin

Ronaldinhio · 27/09/2009 23:30

hahahahahaha

YABU

there is some part of me that hopes this is a troll but I know it isn't...anyway I'd have loved you to have spoken to the parents within my earshot...what way would your montesorri training have suggested going about that conversation?

Perhaps people have an issue with judgemental comments from anyone not dealing with being a parent daily. You very well might find that in a few years your little darling is causing mayhem in a family restaurant before bedtime.

Tis amazing the things that you periodically find yourself resorting to as a parent that you swore you wouldn't before actually becoming one..

Like some others have said maybe a diffierent restaurant next time?

Quattrocento · 27/09/2009 23:49

It has all been explained on another thread:

"By Cowwomanmoo on Sun 27-Sep-09 23:44:25
That?s nothing, in other parts of Bristol, they eat their children. In certain areas you wished they would."

The rogue parents were hoping someone would eat their children, clearly.

clemette · 27/09/2009 23:56

KembleTwins, re proper food I mean smaller portions of what the adults eat rather than shapes of some description with chips. I don't know this restaurant but others described it as a "family restaurant" and that was the immediate image that was conjured up.