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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that DH walks around with his ipod permanently in one ear?

30 replies

PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 27/09/2009 16:01

He listens to audio books, and he mostly has one earplug attached to his hear, whether DD and I are present or not, he is only half present.

Great that he is a book worm. But it really bloody irritates me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
reikizen · 27/09/2009 16:02

God, how old is he? 16?

Thandeka · 27/09/2009 16:06

yanbu- my dh too but he has both in so I have taken to yanking them out when he cant hear me!

CNyle · 27/09/2009 16:07

yes

its very rude

nickytwotimes · 27/09/2009 16:07

Yanbu.
Very rude.

scaryteacher · 27/09/2009 16:18

My 13 yo does this, and his iPod is going to be taking up residence in the freezer very shortly.

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 27/09/2009 16:18

He does not get why its so annoying. I have tried explaining it. He says it is not rude as he can hear us. it's not like he has both in or listening to loud music .

And its currently my effing ipod as he can't find his. I might have to confiscate it.

OP posts:
beaniesinthebucketagain · 27/09/2009 16:21

YANBU!!!

My DP does the same but with some awful loud metal music, sounds like a car crash coming from one side of him, drives me barmy!!

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 27/09/2009 16:24

scaryteacher the freezer is sounding very tempting...if it were his!

beanie at least mine is not listening to metal, I guess I should count myself lucky!

OP posts:
MovingOutOfBlighty · 27/09/2009 16:26

Personally, there would be a highly unfortunate accident with said ipod and the back wheel of my car very quickly.
YANBU!!!!!

clutteredup · 27/09/2009 16:34

DH had both earphones in the other day - I was shouting so he could hear me and he got annoyed as there were breaks between songs and i should have waited til then to speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO YANBU

Katisha · 27/09/2009 17:01

I hate the idea of people being in company and yet plugged into a different world entirely.

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 27/09/2009 20:00

Katisha - that is exactly it, I actually find it offensive, he listens to fantasy/sci fi audio books so it really is a different world most of the time. He only pays half attention and it really bugs me!

movingoutofblighty unfortunately, that little accident happened only recently, for real - he got hit by a wave as he refused to heed my advice not to take it to the beach with us when we were away camping with friends and insisted on taking it. He got hit by a wave while he sat there and has been ipodless for the most part for several months while waiting for insurance to get their asses in gear and sort a replacement. But then he rediscovered mine which I do not use. And now he has his back but its lost in the house somewhere.

I cannot break it again he only got it back a few weeks ago! but i might make sure it gets more permanently lost!

OP posts:
MovingOutOfBlighty · 27/09/2009 20:01

There is always a way, Pavlov, there is always a way...

brimfull · 27/09/2009 20:07

yanbu

would drive me mad

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 28/09/2009 07:53

He came home late from a friend's last night, and he went to bed with the effing thing in his ear. That is why he can sleep through DDs wakings ! I really might have to lose it.

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 28/09/2009 08:02

YANBU
My dh is another ignorant man. Though even when he's not got it in he doesn't really listen to anyone else and just grunts replies to things.

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 28/09/2009 08:04

cantsleep I bet DH does not even have it turned on, I bet its an excuse to grunt and ignore me, rather than have no excuse

OP posts:
differentID · 28/09/2009 08:07

I hate seeing this. Is as bad as being surgically attached to a mobile phone.

Katisha · 28/09/2009 09:17

Why is he so obsessed with these stories? Can he not see it's not really normal behaviour to have to have one on the go the whole time? What does he say about it?

Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 28/09/2009 09:37

He thinks it is perfectly fine. He is a book worm, and he likes the fact that he does not have to put it down! He and his brother in USA are members of an audio book club so they download 2 books a month each - i guess its a talking point for them. When he did not listen to this, he would read for hours, he would read while dinner was cooking, he would go outside for a cigerette and spend 30 mins there reading, he would sit in the bath/on the toilet for hours reading, now he does the same, but walks about reading too.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheForgetfulCat · 28/09/2009 09:38

And when I tell him it is not normal - his response is 'why should I give a shit what normal is? Who says I have to be 'normal'? which I guess is fair enough, if it was not so bloody rude.

OP posts:
Katisha · 28/09/2009 11:10

Yes fine we do not have to conform to normality, but being rude is a separate issue, certainly.

And I do think it's dangerous to be completely oblvious to your emvironment at all times. Presumably he doesn't do it while driving or riding a bike or anything?

notyummy · 28/09/2009 11:15

Very rude. My DH also listens to audio books, but only when he is either away from us, out running, or pushing DD in the pushcahir to try and get her to go to sleep (i.e deliberately not engaging with her.)

It's great that he likes books, but there are ways of getting your fix without excluding those around you.

marenmj · 28/09/2009 11:43

Very rude! YANBU!

DH plays poker on his blackberry and I've had to have a go at him for playing when he is home with us (his excuse: "but we aren't DOING anything, just sitting around the house!" my response: "too bad. When you are here, with us, you must be PRESENT, no matter how boring you may find it; this includes riding on the bus with us and waiting in queues. I do not give two fucks if those are times when you would be playing otherwise. Play with your daughter while you wait or something."

I have taken to pointing out in some ok waiting-moments that now might be an appropriate time to play.

It works because he is starting to identify on his own the times when he can get away with playing that I won't be angry with him. He has been in the habit of just pulling it out any time there is a lull so we are working to break that habit.

Your DH is used to having dual input, so to speak, all the time and will be very bored and possibly even anxious without it, but he needs to understand that not only will you resent him for being "somewhere else" much of the time, his offspring will interpret his distance VERY personally. They will feel that their daddy doesn't love them enough to turn off the book, and that's a real shame, particularly if it isn't true.

GrimmaTheNome · 28/09/2009 11:52

It must be annoying if he does it all the time. I do sometimes have my radio on with one earphone in if I'm prepping or clearing dinner and DD is in the kitchen reading or doing homework. That sort of usage seems quite reasonable but not if DD or DH wasn't otherwise occupied themselves.

Its nothing like as bad as both ears plugged though. My DH does this sometimes and its maddening.

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