to think a play date is not for doing homework together?

[Helloall]

Son went on playdate. Found out their new nanny made them do their homework. They are only 7. The new nanny is a bit tough, but each to their own.

My son is happy to do homework with us. He is doing quite well at school.

I would never dream of getting out another child's spelling book and making them do their homework when they come here. Wouldn't feel it was my place at all. What if my son were really worried about his spelling etc?

Want to politely tell mother (who I do like) that I don't want this new nanny to do this again but fear offending her.

What do you all think?

I would not be annoyed if ds was asked to do his homework with another child at their house after school BUT if I had asked someone else's child on a school night I would always say "Do you want X to do his homework with us?"

There are lots of reasons why it's a good idea for them to do it together but parents are sensitive little souls and don't like - if you see that there is a difference in their reading levels/if you see a cross note written by the teacher in little Jimmy's homework notebook/if you see how bad Jimmy's writing is - etc - and these are all between the parent / child / teacher so I would never organise homework and the resultant bag rummaging without consent from the parent. Also some children get stressed by another person asking them tables / spellings whatever.

I always say "if it's convenient" when I am asked as it's daft for ds to have to sit picking his nails while his mate gets his homework out of the way, even though I prefer to do it with him myself. (ACtually I hate it but I think it is good practice)

I'm really surprised at the majority of replies on this thread.

When my DCs were 7, they didn't ever do their homework on a playdate, either at our house or someone else's - this is the first time I've heard of this. And, TBH, I would be somewhat suspicious of another parent's motives if they had tested my DCs on spellings or times tables (although I accept it was the child's nanny in this particular instance).

I'm curious to know how many 7-year-olds are given homework that needs to be completed by the next day? At that age, my DCs used to be set some small pieces of homework, and then have several days to complete it. Therefore, I saw no need to always get it done the same evening, particularly on a playdate (by the same token, I would obviously not advocate doing homework the night before it needs to be given in).

So YANBU.

If my kids had homework to do I'd be grateful if someone else sorted it. I presume the nanny has to ensure the kid she is looking after gets homework done. What was your son supposed to do?
If my kids had homework to do and having a kid round to play meant the homework didn't get done I wouldn't invite him again. It's not as though she gave him the homework.
He had homework, he got it done then he played. That's life. Doing homework should be part of life, not a seperate compartment.
They are probably unimpressed at their son returning tired from your house with homework still to be done.

Oh ffs - suspicious of the motives?????? What on earth do you mean? You mean someone might find out that their child or yours was better at their tables? Oh dear, how dreadful.

I hate all this secrecy, behind closed doors suspicious stuff. What happened to helping each other out? What's wrong with raising our children as part of a community?

I remeber i got hugely disapproved of on here once because I said a visiting child had left their bag behind and I had emptied and washed the lunch box before giving it back. Apparently this was an invasion of privacy.

Agree seeker.

It is the mothers that seem paranoid about not wanting others to know where their child lies on the academic pecking order. The children themselves all know where they stand, however cunningly the school may try to disguise the levels. I would say get over it.

My dd 6 (Year 1) has a reading book every day, and weekly spellings. It only takes 10-15 minutes but it is finding the time. I prefer not to use afterschool activities as an excuse not to get it done. As it is, my dd already has afterschool activities on 3 days a week. It is the routine.

I was a bit suprised when DD came home from a playdate with homework and reading all done and dusted. I didn't mind in the least!

The only friend where this happens is the one with the au pair supervising. If its part of their regular routine and its part of her normal duties, then I think its absolutely fine.

DDs school always gives homework for the next night - small children don't get 'time management' so this is good as otherwise they always want to do it later and end up with it all at once don't they?